What do grandparents spend on your dcs for their bdays?

[skippythedogfromthesea]

Just curious really....amounts spent from rich poor and in between grandparents would be interesting...

Post is triggered by disparity between what ds's grandparents sent him for his bday despite the fact I'd guess they are very similar in terms of wealth (probably fairly average I'd guess).

i dont add it up either, i am usually with my mum when she buys stuff, or order it for her online.

my mum ...10-15 pounds
in-laws...60-75 pounds

Why does it matter skippy?

Not sure why you need to ask ...???

I don't tot up. I know because I'm usually asked what they would like (by PIL and my dad anyway) and the ideas I give are in that price range.

what is it you dont understand seeker?

My mum - about £50

In -laws - about £10

Ds who is 7, doesn't really notice. I suppose that the Ils have 3 grandchildren including ds, whereas my mum only has ds, and he arrived very late in her life (when she was 80) so her point of view is that she would rather spend money on him now, as she may not be around for that much longer. I hope she will, but that is another story.

well my kids grandparents send a card and that is it, that haven't spoke to the kids since steves funeral, the kids have not missed out and have had pressies fron friends and indeed from mumsnet.

Well my father is reasonably well off and for DD1s third birthday he sent her a card with a grand total of.......wait for it......£5
Personally I would rather he spent time with them, which he doesnt.

What I don't understand is-

Why it matters how much anyone spends on a present.

How people know ho much is spent on presents.

Why people spend so very much on presents for children.

i as a grandparent ask my daughters what the kids are in to as we dont visit them that often.I wouldnt want to buy them some thing they have already got.They usaly pick some thing from argos or simular and we get it.They have so much any way.Would rather give them some thing they like than just get any old thing just for the sake of it.Usaly spend £20 to £30 but we do have 7 grandchildren .Its a nightmare at christmas.Have to ask from sep onwards so i do not duplicate the presents they get from others and of course they will play with wot we get them.ITs all play station /ps games at the moment.Of course dont know what games they have already got.Would rather put money in the card let them choose but thats a bit impersonal.It is hard work trying to please every 1.

I don't understand why people spend so much on children either seeker. I feel its a bit over an imposition for someone who isn't the parent to be buying the 'main' present. Perefectly acceptable for different people to spend different amounts on the same child. Quattros situation sounds awful though.

FIL and step MIL - for DS1 it's £20, either cheque or cash in an enveope. For DS2 it's £10.
Mil and step FIL - usually £20 for each of them.
My mum, she's less well off, but usually asks me what they would like and will get them, a coat say if they need one, or a game of some sort

Mum - whatever she decided usually around £30 (but my 2 dd's are her only grandchildren so she does tend to spoil them).

Dad - normally £50 to put in their trust fund.

IL's - they (MIL) always spend the same on each grandchild (have 4) have no idea what and don't realy care. But go in for quanity rather then 1 good present. but i would never say anything to them.

My mum and dad - £60.00 cash in an envelope
Inlaws - £60.00 as above
Ds1 is 12 and he prefers the cash to put towards clothes etc. Ds2 aged 7 prefers to have a present but remainding cash is put in an envelpope. I do make sure the children save a third of any cash they receive.

my mum or dad (divorced) about £25, on dd.

my inlaws send gifts to about £30, and normally give money into dd's account, say £60 on average.

Oh quattro, that's awful .

And it's not about the money spent, but the inequality of the gifts given. As in, the children will notice, and any grandparent that thinks they won't is mad. PIL but much more for DNiece than they do for DS, and at some point I assume he will notice, but at least we don't see them that often! To do it to brother ans sister is just obscene!

im not sure really and dont mind either im not materialistic and makes no difference the thought that counts

my ds loves whatever he gets whether its an expensive present or a baloon

i dont spend alot on him as i know he will have lots of presents from others but expense is not an issue with us its the thought and the joy he gets from the present

all the stuff they buy throughout the year mounts up to lots of money and this shows they care not how much money is spent on one item but the buying him things through year him being in there thoughts

to be honest my sister got more presents than us as kids but honestly we didnt notice as we were raised to not go on how much it cost but the thoughts behind it

and thats what we did i think it bothers a parent more than a child because you feel there being singled out but to the child would have no reason to feel this unless pointed out

i hope my ds doesnt grow up looking at how much a present has cost as we all come from different financial situations in my family and would hope he wouldnt think a present wasn't good enough as it comes under a certain price bracket

i would hope he would love whatever he got because so and so got it for him

I can see how huge and obvious inequality in giving from one person to siblings is pretty outrageous - have you any idea why? I wonder whether there's any way you could ask them about it?

But I do think £50-£100 on a child's birthday present is a bit bonkers, honestly!

have no idea, altho I think that my mother spends more than mil. Either way, DCs are always very happy with their pressies, and thats what's important.

Im really surprised at some of the comments. Its not about how much they spend at all! My Dad spends £20 and my mum £10 (they have split up)Mum has 15 grandchildren and is a pensioner but I would expect anymore if she were well off. IMO it is much more important of their relatinship with my children, not judge them on how much they spend.£200 on a childs birthday present - ridiculous!I agree that they should spend the same on all granschildren tho or it wouldn't be fair and that would really annoy me

DH's parents - £5 on our children, their other grandchildren £30-40,
have posted before about this as step monster in law treats her own son's children completely differently and dh's father doesn't have the balls to stand up to her.
wouldn't be so bad but monster used to phone up and tell me what they'd bought for the other whereas I had to look so happy with a tescos t-shirt for dd1's 1st birthday

my own parents, not important as they treat them all the same

dps aged and not well off at all parents go mental; they put a hundred pounds in each's CTF, plus send some next clothes and a couple of toys. and they send clothes and toys for the other two at each birthday too, in case they feel left out. nutters.

my own parents, also not exactly minted, ask me what to get... and so far i say really, dont bother. they get plenty enough already and wont even notice at this age.(eldest is 5) so they do anyway, but its little things like whoopee cushions and lovely books from the second hand book shop (both of which they love)