My son and daughter's father has been absent 4+ years, we were married 10+ years and I ended the relationship when he just escalated into being physically abusive (he'd been emotionally so but I didn't really understand it). My opinion now is the abuse was unintentional but related to his paranoia and cannabis addiction which later became cocaine. He's been off the scene a large chunk of their lives but now has expressed interest in being involved again through a barrage of emails at 3am asking for a DNA test for paternity. We were married and we worked and only ever socialised together because of the control so it's pretty unrealistic to think they wouldn't be his biologically but I would do it (IF) he was drug free just because I have nothing to hide... however what would you say to the children 12 and 10, afterall it's their bodies for the samples and almost perpetuates his absolute obsession that I was unfaithful. Or is it better ignored?
Thoughts please? Thank you. Obviously I'd prefer no relationship there, we've coped alone financially and emotionally but he's just lost his brother to drugs and I feel it might be his last chance to be happy in life getting to know them again.