Tips around baby’s sleep - back at work & exhausted

[Essem93]

Hi! I’m a FTM to my 7 month old baby boy. On Monday I sadly returned to work for financial reasons and my partner works shift work which involve 12 hour day and night shifts.
LO is still waking 2-3 times a night and will tend to have around 4-6 oz bottles twice a night, around 10:30 and 2:00, and wakes between 5:00-6:00. I have been getting up with him as my partner has been too tired but I’m finding that I now feel exhausted. My partner has offered to do the first feed but he has to wake up at 4.30am to start getting ready for work, so I feel guilty for that, plus on the times he works nights it will only be me anyway.

I was hoping he would be sleeping through or at least waking less during the night now. Luckily I’ve been eased back into work, I work in social care, so it’s not been overly demanding but next week I will be allocated cases and it feels like the calm before the storm!

Does anyone have any tips to help sleeping through the night? Or do I need to just suck it up and power on through?
He is having slightly more food throughout the day but still only tiny amounts at a time. He is drinking 6-7oz bottles 4 times, approx. between 7am-7pm.

Thanks in advance for any help.

Sounds like sleep training would be beneficial - there are many different methods, not just leaving to cry it out.
We basically just change the sleep associations, so instead of needing milk to sleep they can settle themselves etc.
We’ve done it with both of our babies around 6 months and both have slept through the night since (unless sick or teething etc). The oldest one we’ve always been able to pop in his bed and say goodnight and he chats to himself and falls asleep. The younger one we sit next to his bed and pat his back until he’s asleep, so still giving him support he needs. But if they wake in the night generally they just go back to sleep on their own.
I think it’s worth looking into sleep training methods

I remember these days a my dd1 was ten months old when I went back to work and the exhaustion was brutal.

Can you describe your dh shift pattern? Is it like, three months of days (4 on, 4 off) then three months of nights (4 on, 4 off)?

Honestly your best bet is to get dh to help with the baby at night (when he’s on days and at least two of his his work-free days).

In my experience if you can get two consecutive baby-free good nights sleep a week, it breaks the exhaustion.

Next tip: use your holidays. Don’t plan to go on holiday next year. Book a day off here and there; let dc go to nursery and just REST. Spend the day in bed.

Don’t use your phone when the baby wakes you up. You can use it for music with earbuds but don’t be tempted to turn on the screen. You’ll wake up too much and wreck your sleep for the night.

The next tips are baby-related:

Make sure baby is getting lots of fresh air and daylight in the winter - this might be hard if you and dh are both at work but on the days you aren’t she needs to be outside as much as possible weather permitting. There is something about daylight that establishes body clock rhythms and helps night time sleep.

As your baby gets older be aware of naps messing up sleep at night. Timing the last nap of day is crucial as you want your baby awake enough to have dinner but tired enough to sleep through. I remember frantically singing to my dd in the car home from nursery so she wouldn’t fall asleep in the car seat on the way! Even 15 mins ruined the night.

I went back to work full time at 7 months. Unfortunately his sleep was awful until about 12 months, and then between 12 and 24 months it was VERY up and down. We'd have 5 days of perfect sleep and then 2 weeks of worse that the newborn days.

Molars fuck up their sleep, nursery bugs on top fuck it up and then add in a good amount of separation anxiety. Sleep training would not have worked as he slept through the night as long as he was healthy, not teething and had lots of mummy time.

I did better once I gave up on hope for a good night sleep. Just lean into it, go to bed early, cosleep when you need to, and buy a nice coffee machine.

He started sleeping consistently when he was 2 and have not looked back since!

Thanks for your response. I thought as he was having quite a bit of milk he is genuinely still hungry through the night as can be settled at times when he’s not. I will have a look into sleep training, we’re still rocking him to sleep which probably doesn’t help!

Thanks for your response, lots of helpful tips!! So my partners on a 3 week rota, 3 days, the following week 2 days and 2 nights then 3 nights. On the days he’s off he is quite good at helping with night feeds but finds it difficult to settle him, I’ve tried to say to stay with the same routine I do I.e. feed him in his bedroom, keep lights low etc but he will tend to go into the living room instead. Not sure if that makes much difference with consistency at that age!

About the late nap, he is being looked after by my mum 2 days a week so the drive home is about 30 mins. I’ve been thinking that’s quite handy for a quick nap before going to bed at 7pm (as it has been before so he’s less grouchy/over tired) but you may be right, I’ve not been thinking much about naps changing now he’s getting older. I will have to rethink this!

Thanks for a bit of a reality check and tips! 😅 there were a couple of nights that he managed to sleep from 12-6 which was amazing so I’ve been hopeful for that again. I’ll try not to stress about it too much as it is what it is if the other tips don’t work.. earlier nights and coffee machine is a great idea! Think it’s getting used to this new routine too, for both of us!