I don't like you

[ThatQuickBear]

My 3 year old said "I don't like you" and my goodness did it hurt to hear that. Please tell me it's a normal thing and it didn't mean anything. 😞

I regularly get 'youre not my best friend and I don't want to play with you!'

Oh good grief, you'll have much worse come secondary age or even in about 4 years' time! You'll need to toughen up I'm afraid.
Your toddler is just learning they are an independent person and can say no and express different feelings about things than you can.
It's not your job to be liked as a parent. It's your job to love them and sometimes (shock horror) that means getting them to do things they don't want to do.

No need to be rude!

You can’t be serious 😂 did this really offend you?

Don't worry OP, this is really normal.

“Oh well, I like you,” then move away or change the conversation. The more attention you give it the more likely DC will repeat it.

In a nutshell - ignore, they don’t mean it.

'That's a pity because I love you very much'

Oh come on, I thought he was going to be 15 or something. From a 3 year old you just laugh and ignore it and maybe say that’s a shame because you love him!

I've had worse, I was explaining to my 4 year old dd that I was chosen to be her mummy, she responded with 'But I didn't want a fat Mummy'. If I didn't laugh I would have cried. Now at age 7, I get 'I love snuggling you, you're so soft!'. Let's see what teen years bring!

You're his safe space, its good that he can express his emotions xx

😂😂😂

You will hear it often I am afraid. Or variants of the theme.

They don't mean it.

Oh we get all sorts from our 4.5 year old! My favourite is “you’re not coming to my party” 😂
But then 10 minutes later she’ll say “you’re the best mummy in the whole world”, which melts my heart.

You'll get all sorts of pushbacks over the years from I hate you to I wish such and such was my mum. They're trying things out and pushing boundaries. Perfectly normal. It hurts but they don't mean it. I don't like you is tame tbh.

Yeah pretty normal, “you’re not coming to my party,” “I like everyone else in this family but you,” “this is the worst day EVER,” etc etc then a couple of minutes later, “Mummy, watch this cartwheel.”

my son did this to my partner a lot at that age.. All gone now - and they are very loving together.

Normally they are using the words as a substitute for a negative feeling.

So my son used to say it to my partner when he really meant "I want to keep playing with someone else" - or "I feel bad because of something that just happened with you"

OP, you cannot parent effectively if you are thin-skinned. Children will test out their feelings on you. If you crumple, they will feel unsafe.

You need to approach parenting with a kind of upbeat bullishness. Very no-nonsense, even if you’re feeling a bit unsure. Your child was looking for a push back from you when they said what they said, they didn’t literally mean it.

Just wait for the teen years…

The one that sticks with me is, "You're a meanie mummy!". Ten years later I think she still feels the same 😁

This response was a useful one and, imo, not at all rude!

Not rude . Sensible .

Sadly I think this is normal, my nearly 3 year old says it too sometimes. Usually when I've asked her to do something awful like put her shoes away. It doesn't tend to last long, I know she loves me really and she's soon my best friend again 😅