What’s app group advice.

[sweetie1234]

Hi, I am a parent in the UK. My 11yr old has WhatsApp, this is the only social media account they have. Since starting secondary school the groups have got bigger and harder to keep a check of. My child has also been discussing inappropriate things and deleted the messages as they know I check the phone regularly.

How do other parents manage things social media accounts? Particularly what’s app. There doesn’t seem any way to stop them deleting messages and unfortunately the trust between us has been lost. I have currently removed what’s app but now their social life is suffering as she cannot make plans with her friends.

WhatsApp under your supervision just to confirm plans with friends?

Discussing inappropriate things and deleting so you cannot view means no more WhatsApp - and if their social life suffers then tough, that’s the punishment. What inappropriate though. That needs unpicking. Sexual, bullying? Or swearing?

Could you separate keeping in touch with friends from returning to the big group? While the app is off, help her arrange a specific meet-up through a friend's parent. That gives you space to talk about what was said and how she can rebuild trust, without making every friendship depend on getting the app back immediately.

Mine wasn’t allowed WhatsApp initially at all. And when she was, no group chats. If this happened in our house, WhatsApp would be gone. She can still send normal text messages and make calls/FaceTime.