Nursery ended settle session early. Is this common?

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Just after some feedback please...

Has anyone known a nursery end a settling in session early, half way through a 2 hr session because they couldn't settle the baby (10 months)? We have got other children, and have 10 nieces and nephews who have been across lots of different nurseries, and 3 of the nieces and nephews had a particularly hard time settling in but we have never known a setting to end a session early so wondered whether its common and we have just not encountered it until now.

Thank you

My understanding is that a nursery would call the parents to collect a baby/child if they can’t settle it within a reasonable time, whether it’s a settling in session or a regular session. TBH that’s what I’d expect them to do, they can’t really let them be upset throughout the session.

I think it's normal (and good practice) if baby is very distressed for a significant period of time – it's not fair to baby to leave them like that, and it's not going to help them learn that nursery is a fun, safe place either. On the other hand, if baby is crying off and on, but playing in between or just clingy and wanting to be held, I think most nurseries would comfort and distract them, but continue with the session.

Not quite the same, but my second had to have extra short settling sessions before moving on to longer ones because she doesn't give her trust away lightly. She wouldn't accept care or comfort from the staff, so the room supervisor advised more short sessions to build those relationships before doing longer ones where they would need to change her nappy, help her with her coat to go outside, etc. It worked out just fine.

They sound like a great nursery putting baby first!

It’s normal to collect a baby early during a settling session if they won’t settle. Surely you don’t want the baby there screaming for 2 hours?

I would think of this as a good thing, they don’t want baby to continue to be distressed.

What else do you want them to do? The whole point is that baby 1) gets used to the staff while 2) learning they don't just get abandoned there.

That's why settling in sessions are short, so little ones understand mummy will come back. An 8 hour day for example is an eternity to them. A 2 hour period of them.being inconsolable is also not good at all.

My nursery's settling in sessions were 1 hour, not 2 anyway.

I would see this as a good thing. I’d be aghast if they let the baby just cry and cry. Sounds like they actually care.

It sounds like a good nursery, why have a child upset for two hours if it’s clear they are very unsettled and overstimulated. Some children need a more gradual approach it’s great they aren’t using a one style fits all approach.

Why would you want to leave your baby screaming and not go comfort them? The whole point they listen you go when distressed so they’ll stay happily longer the next time!

Thank you for your replies. Just to clarify im not suggesting nursery do anything differently, Id just never known a session to end early for any children in my family or for my friends children but know that the vast majority of children do tend to cry and be unsettled throughout the settling sessions (my olders included) so I wondered whether it was common for babies to be so distressed to the point where a settle session needs to end early. Not frustrated or annoyed with the session ending early at all, more looking for reassurance that it does happen, and others have had sessions ended early but that their little ones still went on to thrive in that setting.

Yes happened with my son. He went to his first fine. Second he just wouldn’t settle so they rang me early. That night he was ill so think he was coming down with something. Third session he was much better again.

I would take it as a good sign rather than a red flag, especially if your baby was properly distressed rather than just grizzly on and off. Two hours is a long time for a 10-month-old to be inconsolable, and pushing through would probably have made the next session harder, not easier.

What I would ask the nursery is what they tried before they called you, and what their plan is for next time. If they can say something like a shorter session, the same key person, and a clear point where they will call again, that sounds like they are actually thinking about settling rather than just cutting it short. If they are vague about all that, that is the bit I would push on.