So what do you do when your 3 year old says the word "fucker"

[ConnorTraceptive]

I'm thinking totally ignore, which is easy to do at home but if he says it in public i'm going to die.

Not sure where he's got it from, I'm pretty sure we've never said it around him.

say its a naughty word, and he shouldnt use it.

if you totally ignore it will probably pass quite soon
warn any friends you are going to see in the next couple of days and tell them not to react if possible
the other thing you could try is saying "I think you've got that word wrong - do you mean [insert harmless alternative]?"
I can't think of a suitable one for fucker but I substituted bother for bugger when ds was about 2

oh he may just like the sound and not have heard it all, just made it up himself!
ds used to have a wide range of made up swearing and often some sounded convincingly shocking

If you ignore it, he might not realise it's a bad word to say.

Agree with misdee - say something like 'please don't use that word'.

I look forward to for warning our vicar

yep ignore
its the hardest thing to do but try your best to really look so unbovvered by it too if you can
go for the oscar
twill pass..

Am going speak to nursery and see if he's said it there at all and ask how they deal with it as i'm sure it must happen.

He said it in front of the estate agent (so much worse when they use it in a suitable context)

belgo he will know that by the reactions it will have had already

ah you see age 4 I would say 'please don't use that word'
age 3 I would do anything I could, to avoid letting him know there was anything vaguely interesting about that word

My DS (2.5) discovered the phrase 'for fuck's sake' the other day.

He got home from the CM and gleefully ran around shouting 'Foxache, foxache, foxache.'

I said mildly: "Hmm, I don't see any foxes in here. Do you?"

The conversation then moved on to foxes, their bushy tails, how the naughty fox did a poo, and the naughty fox in Meg and Mog stole the sausages.

I fear this tactic will not work for his teenage years but he hasn't said it since...

I wouldn't say about it being a naughty word. that just spurs three year olds on. dp tried telling ours off when they started yelling wanker, and dt2 thought it was hilarious and shouted it for weeks. distraction works far better, even if you can't find a substitute word.

That's the thing F&Z at 2 I would deffo ignore as he would be too young to understand the concept of a naughty word but at 3 he will know if I say it's a naughty word. The question is will he then carry on using it to wind me up ???

The other day 3yo DS was trying to fix a broken toy and turned to DP and said, "Oh dear Daddy, it's fucked!"

That is definitely DP's fault - but DS hears all kinds from our friends, and sometimes I let one slip out too. I just say matter-of-factly "Oh don't say that DS, it's a rude word and just for grown-ups - you can say 'broken' instead" etc. He seems to accept that, just as he understands there are drinks and activities (such as driving) and so on, that are not for him.

agree franny.

My 4 year old said "shit" the other day. I told him it wasn't a nice word and he wasn't to use it and he didn't.

When DD was aged 3 she announced to MIL, crossly "I don't like fucking rice" when she served dinner. I gasped in shock but said nothing. She said it a couple of times after that ("mind that fucking bus Granny" to my Mother whilst driving, almost caused Mum to drive off the raod!!) but then it petered out. If I'd asked her not to use it, I'm convinced she wo uld have gleefully used it at every opportunity as it would have flagged it up for her.

I was inspired by a recent MN thread on swearing toddlers to adopt "fuzzcake" instead of FFS myself - can't remember who but someone said it was their DD's version. It's really quite satisfying. FuzzCAKE!

However DS has also picked FFS up from DP, but DP tries to swallow the "fuck" so it comes out as "Oh f'f'SAKE!" So now if DS drops a bit of food or bangs his head he sighs "Oh... SAKE!" which makes him sound like a sarky 15-year-old.

Not doing that well on this thread am i...

PMSL @ minde that fucking bus!

My nephew did this and his mum choose a random word i.e. purple and inserted it for about a week at odd times. he then used that instead .
got some odd looks mind you, but at least it was harmless ,til the fad wore off.

I think ignoring it is the best method - if you make a big deal of it being a naughty word it might encourage DC to use it even more. DS2 started saying "oh bugger!" after hearing me say it and thought it was hysterically funny. The more I told him not to say it the funnier he thought it was. I ignored it and eventually he got bored.

DS had a phase of shouting 'SHIT' until I convinced him that he meant to say 'SPIT' but I didn't make that big a deal about it. It is very very common for little kids to swear inadvertently - particularly fuck, fucker and bugger - just by playing with words (there was a thread a while back over someone's 6-year-old coming a bit unstuck with rhyming words and using a racist term quite accidentally...).

My DS is mostly into talkign about Poo and Wee and Bums and Willies at the moment, and for that I tell him he can talk like that at home but no one else is interested - if he does let rip an expletive I take no notice and if anyone close by is tragic enough to pull that cat's-arse face and comment I just smile and say, oh he must have picked that up from the teenagers on the tram.

Righto will ride it out & ignore any cat bum looks!!

Definitely agree with ignoring it at this age, if you say it's a bad word he will use it all the more.
DS1 picked up "for fucks sake" from DH during stresfful holiday last year.
I was v embarassed when he said it in front of various relatives incl MIL (and in correct context too!) but chose to ignore it totally and within a few days he stopped saying it.

Don't make a big deal out of it, but you can still tell them not to say it.
If DS says something inappropriate I just say 'Oh, that's a swear word sweetheart, you're not meant to say that, it doesn't sound very nice from little boys mouths' and that's it.

Is it just me though, or is there not something inherently funny about a small child saying fucker"?! Personally, I'd just be trying not to laugh!! I think a little child saying it is nothing worrisome at all. Far worse would be if an older child, who knew what the effect that word could have, said it with aggression or malice - that's a world away from a small child just repeating something new that they heard.

There was a good thread on here a while ago about swearing - somebody said that they knew of some kids who were allowed to swear as much as they liked at bathtimes but not outside the house - I thought that was a pretty good idea!

Anyway, to answer OP's original question, I'd completely ignore it and if it continued, explain that I didn't want DD to say it outside of the house as the word upset some people but that Mummy and Daddy don't mind.