Social struggles 15 year old boy

[MumofTeen1983]

My son’s confidence is in the dumps. He used to be a happy confident boy but since going to high school I have seen this draining from him. He’s now in 4th year with exam pressures but since the very beginning of high school he has just never found his people, all his primary friends moved on and he has no one I hear him speak of in school or out of school, he broke down to me saying he is lonely, no one likes him, everyone makes weekend plans etc and he is never invited along. He is part of a football team and has been for years but again, I don’t see him make any particular bonds and if he has they last a short while and then he seems to be left on his own again. How do I help him navigate this?
it breaks my heart as a mum as I know how much of a lovely boy and great friend he is.
He is an only child and I feel like I have failed him.
Its 4am while I write this as I just can’t sleep for worrying about him

I'm sorry you're worrying. It's awful when they're sad. It's great he can talk to you.

Are there more organised things you could help him go to, instead of hoping for weekend social invitations? Lots of people - children, teens and adults - fill their time with activities/clubs rather than social invites.

Thank you, I have been looking to see what I can suggest to him… he just doesn’t seem interested in anything, he plays football for a while on a Saturday then goes home to sit in his room, I’ve suggested coming along to the gym with me and his dad but he keeps declining…. I keep asking with the hope one day he’ll say yes

It may be that he just wants your support whilst he's sad.
You can offer but not force I guess.

Can you do low key things after football - a walk with his dad to pick up something from the local bakery or something?

Does he like the cinema - is there a film you could ask his dad to take him to?

Any family you could visit?

Yeah we can defo do all those things, last time we went to the cinema we turned up and a group of boys from his school and football team were all there together and sat right behind us and I know his feelings were hurt as he wasn’t asked to go and he was probably embarrassed to be there with us…. We do have family close by but not many, just one cousin that he is close to but he’s older and doing his own thing

Could you ask the cousin to meet for pizza or something? Say it would be nice to hear how he's getting on.

Go to a cinema in a different area, tell your DS it is because it's the best showing time, or the comfiest seats.

Basically try to distract without being obvious!

Could dad ask for 'support' with exercise e.g. he needs a couck to 5k partner, or he would like your DS' help counting reps at the gym?

Is there another club he could do during the week? Away from school to meet new people and perhaps find that friend he needs? Does he like any other sport or anything else like that?

My grandson was like this and only had online friends, through gaming, who were not local. At 16 he got a part time job and finally found a small group of friends.

I’m sorry op. It’s horrible to watch.
does your ds ever invite anyone to do anything? Kids/ teens can be thoughtless and maybe think he doesn’t want to hang out.
can you try and organise a really fun activity (paint balling etc) and ask him to invite a few kids. If they say no, they say no. He already feels rejected, so this prob won’t make it worse, just reinforce that he hasn’t yet met his people.