Had a bad day looking to feel better

[Clauddd3i]

feel like the worst mum ever. Lovely half term and today we had the zoo planned which our nearest is 50 mins to an hour away depending on traffic

We had set this day and I woke up feeling horrendous. Continued on as I promised this day and I needed to suck it up as at best ive got a cold so wasnt ruining the day. It was good we had a fantastic time out, knew when to leave as eldest (5 just turned) is suspected on the spectrum so is very clear when he needs to leave somewhere and itd started getting busy, youngest is 2 (3 next month) refuses a pram or being carried - so was wiped after 3 hours there!

I felt awful as I forgot my own packed lunch so had to drive back hungry with a headache and feeling like id been hit by a bus. We get in the kids are all riled up instead of slightly tired haha

So they're wrestling. I have to intervene and tell them off. They're climbing on me just being kids and i feel bad I just kept asking them to stop I felt awful

Then they start fighting on the stairs but at the top. Youngest appeared to lean over and i shouted as I panicked. Explained no fighting in general but expecially not on the stairs!!

I barely played, set some toys up, some screen time etc. But feel bad i barely played snd I probably told them off just silly things ? I just had less patience so was silly telling them off for jumping on me when they're just kids playing

Im always so worried about affecting their childhood and that im just boring naggy mum. As dad works long hours so hes fun time frankie it feels

I apologised said I was a bit grumpy as I felt poorly and I will be fine soon

But please reassure me they'll forget and tomorrow's a new day and im not the worst mum ever for being naggy

What did you do wrong? Take them to do an activity for 5 hours, then let them play a bit by themselves? Tell them not to fight at the top of the stairs? I’m a very gentle parent but it’s ok to tell dc not to jump on you.
honestly I don’t know what you’re beating yourself up over. This is not what my ‘bad day’ looks like.

I can’t see anything that suggests a bad day either. Yoj took them out all day. You had a right to complain if they were jumping on you especially if you felt ill. You needed to shout at them and get their attention quickly if they were messing around at the top of the stairs as that’s dangerous.

Thanks. I just feel the strain as dh works long hours so it is me alone with them a lot and I worry they'll look back like wow mum was such a nark! Dad was so fun etc

And j just want them to have the best and happiest childhood i can give so i just feel bad today as I dont think I give 100%

Hate shouting i try to not to that at all. Its panic mainly

You should be patting yourself on the back for taking them out for so long when you feel rough, not beating yourself up because you didn't let them throw each other down the stairs! Give yourself a break OP!

Giving kids a happy and the best childhood doesn't mean them being allowed to do whatever they want. I can't see anything wrong in your post.

I think you need to flip your thinking. For kids to have a safe and happy childhood, that means boundaries and consequences. Seeing their parents get annoyed and knowing they are human with emotions is actually good for them. If you keep putting pressure on yourself that every day needs to be magical and happy and perfect with no one ever getting upset then that causes more harm than the supposed harm that's meant to have happened you getting annoyed at them for climbing on you.

They aren't going to grow up with everything going their way all the time. And you're only going to burn yourself out in the process.

You are doing everything you can to give your kids a lovely childhood. They will remember an amazing day out way more then being told off at bedtime.