Child arrangements

[Leanne1233]

Advice needed please -
4 month old baby due to separate work father but don’t want her staying far away over night as it is two hours away - is there any rules that she will need to stay there?

Is she breast fed ?

No she isn’t

Do you think he will agree to waiting until she’s older? If you think you can arrange something reasonable together then do that, otherwise if it’s a court order and she’s not breastfed then yes they can make it that she has to stay there. Does he want 50/50?

I don’t think he will want to wait until she is older he has said he wants her on weekends

Dads who fight for overnights when it’s not in the baby’s best interests are awful. They’re just thinking about CMS not the baby. A couple hours during the day but not all day and definitely not overnight. Don’t agree to his demands.

At that age I’d do a few hours with you there. And never agree to weekends, it sets a precedent and when she starts school you will have no quality time

He only wants her on the weekend? Doesn't work like that. Who moved away and why? 2hrs is a long time for a baby to be in a car.

Yes I agree. Not sure how much say i will have in terms of telling him he can’t have her overnight though? Definitely not in her best interest travelling two hours one way

I’m worried if it goes to court and they let him have her overnight. She’s still so young, he suggested having her on a weekend cos of work commitments. I’m still on maternity leave with her being so young. He’s left after a lot going on as I caught him messaging another woman

Well whilst I agree shes too young for overnights, it would take weeks/months to go through court anyway. And hes unlikely get every weekend, likely EOW. His work committments arent your concern. Why cant he come stay local on his weekends til shes a bit older? Who will be doing the travelling, whilst most share, its usually the parent that moved.

He lives two hours away and can’t afford to do that. He lives back home with his parents now and does not even have a bedroom. He also does not have a suitable car seat and wants to rely upon a second hand one which I have said absolutely no.

Are you "sure" you're not breastfeeding? And maybe you have issues using a pump and your baby needs to be close by for when you're able to express.

And also: fuck off with anyone telling me my baby is leaving my sight for a minute at 4 months of age. Jesus. All this makes me feel like I would make a man sign a contract that only I decide when my child has overnights and who with and he isn't going on the birth certificate unless he agrees.

Actually terrified of ever having a child with a man because of stupid shit like this.

Starting to think men and women have to be forced to stay together like in the older days. Far too many blended / split families and shit like this happening. But this time: provide better ways of ensuring a good match. Like being on rotation living in communal housing with men until you find one you get along with and then you have to marry to be able to get your own house together.

😂😂😂

Haha I love this reply 😂😂 definitely want her to see him but not staying away overnight at such a young age needs to be at home with her mama

So if he doesnt even have a bedroom where is she going to sleep?

He’s been sleeping on sofa at his mums but feel like he will come back with something saying they will make a nursery if it came to it lol

He wants to take a 4 month old on a 2 hour trip to stay at his mums house where he sleeps on the sofa? Nah bruv, absolutely not 🤣

Refuse on the grounds that you don't think its in the best interests of the child. Let him start mediation then outline your concerns to the mediator. Hopefully you get a good one like I did that will explain that dc need their own space and can't sleep on a mattress under a table in your converted van.

Haha exactly 😂😂 I will do this thank you. In the meantime I will advise him he can come and visit her whenever he likes.