Worlds clingiest toddler

[SarahScone]

DS2 (or very nearly 2) will NOT let me get on with anything. I either have to be sat playing with him or carrying him around. I cannot make a cup of tea without the mother of all
meltdowns. Cleaning to cooking tea is only possible if I carry him while I do it.
I have tried giving him a job, getting him to ‘help’, ignoring him etc etc etc.

Im not really after ideas on how to fix it, more some reassurance that other toddlers have behaved this way and grown out of it. And if so, please god tell me when that will happen!

(goes to nursery four days a week / doesn’t behave like this with his father!)

It will get better. It’s tough but he’s still so little. It’s bloody annoying when you’re in the middle of it, but both of mine went through this and we’ve come out the otherside. Key things are to ensure that he keeps doing lots with the dad. Don’t just let him be with you all the time as that what he prefers. Spending lots of quality fun time with dad away from you will give you space and downtime but also will help develop their relationship.

I just... Let mine have the tantrum (if they're not going to hurt themselves). LO is 2.5. I say "I need to do this now, you can help or play with that toy", if they have a tantrum, so be it. Some days this helps, some days we get a lot of tantrums. I make time afterwards to sit with them and give big cuddles, play, read, but life still goes on. Friends with 2 or more kids tell me you can't be always carrying both of them, they get used to it, and it doesn't harm them!

Aww that sounds really hard. Mine is only 15 months but exactly the same. Nursery 3 days a week and not the same with dad xx

DD1 was like this. Sometimes, they do just have to tantrum because you can’t hold them (or you don’t want to, which is fine too!).

She has grown out of that stage, but she’s now a reasonably clingy 7 year old. I think it’s a personality thing rather than anything you can change.

You are definitely not alone with this, and it sounds utterly exhausting. I am married with a three year old, so I know how relentless it can feel when even making a cup of tea turns into a meltdown.

The part about him being different with his dad and at nursery actually makes sense to me. Toddlers often save their biggest feelings for the parent they feel safest with, which is a compliment in a very unhelpful way when you just need to get dinner on.

I hope the clingy phase eases for you soon. You are not doing anything wrong by finding it hard, and you are not alone in needing a bit of breathing room just to get through the day.

@Antoniana @Biscuit94 @KyleStar @OtterMummy2024 @vjvhj thank you so much for all your replies. Good to know we’re not on our own!
I do let him have the tantrum sometimes. But he is also a leg clinger, so that can be challenging when also trying to make dinner and not accidentally scald him!
He’s just about on track with his speech, maybe a little behind and I don’t think that is helping things - lots of frustration.
Onwards and upwards. I’ll miss it when he’s 15 and just grunts, I’m sure.