PND and screen time

[Adeline261]

Hello
I’m feeling really guilty about the amount of screen time our youngest had when they were a baby. We’re currently away with my sister in law who has never let her baby have any screen time and he’s so calm and happy.
I suffered with what I now realise is post natal depression after our youngest was very poorly as a newborn so in the mornings when I struggled to get out of bed my husband would have a shower with the baby in his bouncer near the shower and would put CBeebies on his phone for him to watch. The phone would be propped up somewhere. I just feel so bad as our son is a very hyperactive 4 year old and I’m worried it’s because of the screen time.

They don’t have much any more. We spend a lot of time outdoors and playing with toys. We try to play music as much as possible if they need downtime. But on a Saturday after their morning activities (swimming etc) they probably have a couple of hours of tv and rest.

Any thoughts good or bad welcome.
thanks

If anyone should feel guilt, it's your DH. You were ill, so why couldn't he parent without screens like many of us do?

I don't actually think it's that bad at all, I just don't understand why YOU feel guilty for another adult's behaviour.

Your son is who he is. And frankly most 4 year olds are hyperactive!

It Was only a short period of time. All four year olds are hyper! I very much doubt it was the screen time and your child is just a normal 4yo. You’re doing well to keep it to a minimum now they’re older- this is when it’s really important imo. And if you give in at this age, you’ve got a real upward battle on your hands! And at this age if they spend hours on screens now, it’s displacing other activities and they learn so much so fast now. Don’t be hard on yourself it sounds like you’re doing a good job xoxox

How will feeling guilty change it? And what actual harm have noticed it caused?

Honestly don’t make yourself feel bad, that won’t be why your child is now very active.

Honestly don’t beat yourself up about this. In my experience a lot of 4 year olds are very active, children are different for all sorts of reasons. My nephews were pretty hyperactive at that age with no screens at all but lovely young men now. You’re limiting it to a normal amount so don’t worry. There is no point in worrying anyway you can’t change the past and you are just wasting your precious energy. I’m sure from what you say that you are a good mum.

It was CBeebies not TikTok. I’m sure you watched kids TV when you were little too.

Proper kids programming will have been much better for the baby than scrolling on YouTube or continuous short videos which I think is an issue for rewiring brains.

A few minutes a day of screen time will have made no difference at all to your son. It sounds like you made it through a very difficult time and your husband supported you and did his best. Your kids are lucky!

Your life now sounds lovely and in balance and this will make a much bigger long term impact for your kids than whether they watched a few images on a phone each day in infancy. Please try to let go of this guilt and consider getting support if guilt and anxiety feel unmanageable for you. You sound like a good mum.