Worried/ embarrassed about my child’s behaviour at birthday party

[Heatherinlondon]

DD 6 is a quiet and sensitive girl. She’s really struggled to make friends until recently. She’s made friends with an older girl at school who attends after school club with her. I was so pleased when she was invited to the new friends 8th birthday party. However, when we were there DD was so silly. She was hanging off other children and at one point pulling on another child’s tshirt whilst he was trying to run away. I was mortified. I got up a couple of times to have a quiet word with her. I didn’t see other children grabbing each other. Then when they were eating, all the children sat nicely and ate politely. DD was all over the place and playing with her food. Normally she is so quiet and I was really surprised she was being so silly. I’m glad she was happy and finally made new friends. But now I keep going over it in my head and worrying what other parents thought of her. These were new parents too so it’s their first time seeing her at a party. It was a huge soft play area with the majority of parents sat watching them all. I hope she’s not given the impression of being badly behaved. I also keep thinking they must think I’m a bad parent. Hopefully I’m just overthinking it. If it was with the normal mums I already know from her year, I wouldn’t be worried. I feel like hiding on the school run for a while 🫣

Well, she’s two years younger than the other kids, so surely no one’s going to judge her for being ‘immature’?

She was just excited, don't overthink it. I'm sure no-one else noticed anything.

Chances are I'd just think she was a boisterous child and then forget about it.

I guess the interesting thing for me is that you seem more concerned about the behaviour due to how it will be read by other parents rather than actually being concerned about your DD. That tells me that her behaviour wasn't very concerning, in fact, and you are overthinking what other people might think about her, and by extension, you. I'd stop worrying about that immediately.

She is only 6 and was overexcited. Don’t overthink it.

I suspect other kids were doing similar but you only saw your kid's behaviour because you were anxieuse about how she would cope. Even if it was just her, its not a big deal. She didnt hit and bite kids.
Kids go wild sometimes when very excited. Enjoy the phase

If I saw you as a parent getting up and supporting her to make the right choices I’d think , ah she is excited . Lovely mother.

It would be different if she was throwing food and you were sat on your phone facing the other way !

If anything , people might think , oh she is 6 and excited - the others are 8.

Don’t over think it x

They'll have seen you intervening and talking to her, so please don't worry. It's not like you just sat playing on your phone and said her behaviour doesn't matter. Talk to her, and ask her why she was being different from normal-some people might query additional needs, but if this was a one-off, it might just be as simple as when someone at work acts in a ridiculous way because they're feeling nervous/trying to put on an act-and she's only young.

As a mum i want my childrens friends to be kind to them. Be silly and full of fun at their birthday. That is fine. she is 6. I would not think anything. If my kid reports she is kind and she likes her....then i belief she is kind and likeable. I would overlook all of the above. If she is normally quiet and is coming out of her shell nature that. Please dont worry. Noones kids is perfect.

Probably high on sugar and e numbers. Just excited to be there and a bit hyper. Unless she was being incredibly rude or violent i really wouldn’t give it a second thought. My youngest has shown me up many times with tantrums and silly behaviour, doesn’t mean she’s a bad kid or that you’re a bad mum. Besides, everyone is allowed to run riot in soft play.

My guess is either you noticed her behaviour more because the other children are older and therefore more mature, or she was simply putting on a bit of a performance to try and impress the older kids.

Either way this doesn’t sound like something anyone will have thought twice about. People only really care if the behaviour is repetitive at every event to the extent it ruins others enjoyment, or someone gets hurt.

She sounds like a normal 6 year old who was over excited and is more immature than the other children there, which is to be expected as she is considerably younger than them.
I wouldn’t worry OP but would keep talking to her about personal space and teaching her what is and isn’t appropriate behaviour. All children around that age need guidance and reminders when they go too far

There's a big difference between 6 year olds and 8 year olds. She was just a bit out of her depth.

A 2 year age gap at this age is huge there will be a difference in how they behave

Honestly this sounds like pure excitement, not bad behaviour. A quiet 6 year old at the party of a new friend she idolises - of course she was overexcited. Hanging off other kids is normal party chaos at that age, and the other parents won't have registered it the way you did. The lovely part of your post is that she's finally made a friend. That's the bit everyone will remember, including her.