Desperate parenting advice.

[5mooth]

I need some desperate parenting advice! 😩

My three-year-old son is pushing boundaries at bedtime, and I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

We put him in a nappy to sleep in, but he pulls his ding dong out of his nappy and wees all over his bedsheets (even non-so-waterproof sheets) to stall bedtime. He then gets out of bed, giggles and hides.

This isn't happening just once or twice. It's happening multiple times every single night, and we're constantly having to change the sheets. We're now putting towels on the mattress underneath him because we're at our wits' end with all the washing!

He's literally pulling his ding dong out of a fresh nappy to do this, so it's not a case of him simply wetting the bed.

Has anyone experienced anything similar with their toddler? What did you do to stop it? We're exhausted and desperately need some advice! 😩

You need a onesie that buttons up the back.

And closed sleeves.

I agree with the first post. I didn't take my son out of those vests until he was fully toilet trained

Onesie on backwards worked a trick for my kids

Oh hes toilet trained! He just knows how to wind us up!😒

Yes the above suggestion or a sleep bag on him if they are still in 3 year old sizes. I wonder if he’s just not tired enough for bedtime and needs a later bedtime if he’s got the energy to lark about like that x

I would withdraw all attention for weeing in the bed. I wouldn’t even change the sheets, just ‘Oh dear, how sad. Now you’ll have to sleep in a wet bed’ (put a waterproof sheet on to protect the mattress). Not angry, not shouting, just leave.
At the same time I would add a reward in for weeing in the toilet at bedtime and lots of praise and attention for doing that successfully.
If he wants a dry bed then he has to ask you nicely and he has to help put the new sheet on and put the wet one in the washing machine.

Use a sleepsack back to front?

It's okay to use the word 'penis'.

Okay...out of all that, thats all you took?! Its okay to say the word petty if thats how youre going to behave.

There's good reasons why it's better to use the word penis rather than a silly euphemism like ding dong. With a 3 yo you need a carrot and stick method. For example, maybe he gets a sticker every night he doesn't wee on the bed and if he can go a week then he gets a reward of some type. If he does wee on the bed, there should be a consequence- one fewer bedtime story the next night for example, or no snack before bed.

@5mooth there's no need to be snappy. People are trying to help.
Also you could call it his willy, old man....loads of names for penis!!

I call it a willy. I just used the word ding dong on here for wording purposes. I wasnt being snappy I was responding to a petty response.

Is he not just needing a potty in his room so he has somewhere to go? And of course making him sit on the loo before bed.

it is amazing he has the ability to wake up from the need to go.

Reward chart with 7 dry bed sheets and he gets a prize

Order some 'kylie' bed protectors to help with the laundry.
Go back to vests with poppers.
Can you try moving bedtime forwards or backwards half an hour?
Doesnt sound like he's ready for sleep when he is going to bed.
Will he lie and listen to music or an audio book as he goes to sleep?

We definitely had a phase of using tab nappies and a pull up nappy on over the top to help with night time leaks (I hear some are deliberate wees and not leaks).

Another thought is a potty in his room (on a bath mat or a bed protector), so he can have a wee on his terms.

@5mooth my ds was waking in the night for a wee by the time he was 2.5 (daytime PT at just before 2) Make sure he has a wee before bed and put a potty in his room. If he's fully toilet trained in the day and waking at night needing a wee he might just genuinely not know what to do as he won't want to "wet himself" but have nowhere to actually do a wee!

What the actual F have I just read??

@5mooth please do not listen to this person who apparently wants you to leave your 3 year old in a piss soaked, wet bed all night. Jesus Christ.

Not sure why people are proposing a potty in the room? I thought the OP made it clear that he does this deliberately. To me it sounds like he is enjoying all that attention and how it prolongs bedtime. What makes people think that with a portending the room that will somehow change?

I wouldn’t leave him in a wet bed all night. But he is doing it for attention, therefore you have to withdraw the attention for the negative behaviour and give attention for the behaviour you want to see more of.

Are you not into the button up the back onesie idea op? Sounds perfect solution to me.

And if he doesn’t like wearing it, he has to stop peeing in his bed.

I agree with you. OP says he is doing it to stall bedtime, he’s doing it on purpose and he’s giggling after doing it - this is like a game to him. I would also starve it of all attention. He could do with learning that wetting a bed on purpose is actually unpleasant for him more than anyone else and he will quickly stop it once it doesn’t get the desired result of delayed bedtime and more of mums attention.

It’s not at all like normal bedwetting, which is involuntary and not a behavioural issue.

Is he doing this during the bedtime routine while you’re putting him to bed?

I'd have a chat to a Health Visitor. They are good for advice on both toileting issues and behavioural issues so ought to be able to come up with some strategies to help with this.