Possible ADHD in my 5-year-old son – books, toys and ways to help him

[GibbyWB]

Advice needed:
Hello wonderful people in my phone. Please go easy this is all new but my anxiety is high and worried he will struggle with friendships.

I'm starting to wonder whether my 5-year-old son may have undiagnosed ADHD, and I'm looking for advice from other parents who have been through something similar.
He is constantly on the go. He struggles to sit still, makes noises almost constantly, has a very short concentration span, is bursting with energy and can be very emotional. Bedtime is a real struggle, too. It takes him ages to drift off, and honestly, I can count on one hand the number of times he has slept through the night.
He never seems to tell me he's tired or ask to sit down and chill. He rarely wants to cuddle up and watch a film, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to encourage him to slow down, relax and switch off.
I don't want to change who he is. I love his energy and his personality, but I want to understand him better and find ways to support him. I want him to feel happy, confident and understood, and to be able to make friends and navigate the world around him without things feeling so difficult.
If I'm honest, I'm feeling worried and a little overwhelmed. I don't know where to start or whether what I'm seeing is typical for his age or something more. I'm considering whether to seek an assessment, but in the meantime, I want to learn as much as I can to help him.
I'd really love recommendations for toys, books, activities or techniques that have helped your children, particularly with concentration, emotional regulation, burning off energy and winding down at bedtime.
One thing I've noticed is that reading a story without pictures seems to help him relax. He'll often start to drift off while I'm reading, whereas a book with lots of pictures seems to keep him fully engaged and alert. I'm wondering whether other parents have noticed similar things with their children.
I'd love to hear your experiences, what has worked for you, and any advice you wish you'd known when your children were this age.
I'm not looking to put a label on him unnecessarily. I just want to understand him and give him the best possible support.
Thank you so much. ❤️

I always explained to my ds that him finding it difficult, just meant he had to work harder at it. Having ADHD did NOT give him a free pass to behave badly. Yes, I know it feels unfair, but other dc felt the fact they found spelling or remembering lines (for assemblies or plays) difficult, and he found them easy. That some people found learning to swim difficult and he was good at that. etc etc. We are all different, and all find some things really difficult, and all find some other things easier. Finding something difficult does not give you a free pass to hurt people.

At the same time, we found things to praise him for.

We looked for opportunities to give him some autonomy - gave him choices so he felt in control.
We tried to give him strategies - "What could you do if / when..... ?"

At the same time, I found he coped much better when getting lots of exercise. We went out every day. We signed him up for Beavers, football and swimming. But we also went out for long walks, or on a bike ride. We got him a trampoline for the garden. You could really notice if he hadn't exercised any day. We restricted some foods and - for him - anything with caffeine in it (eg fizzy drinks).

A visual bedtime routine, a picture strip for bath, teeth, story, lights out, can make the wind down feel predictable rather than something else to resist, paired with a short script you repeat nightly so he knows what's coming. Your point about plain text sending him off while pictures keep him alert is interesting, that's worth trusting rather than fighting, maybe audio stories work the same way during the day too. For the emotional moments, naming the feeling calmly before any problem solving tends to land better than reasoning while he's still worked up. Worth mentioning all of this to the GP when you push for that assessment.