ADHD 7yr old impulsive

[Hellobell]

I really need some advice. ❤️
My 7-year-old was diagnosed with ADHD about four months ago. They didn’t mention the severity, but I suspect it’s on the milder side. He’s currently unmedicated.

He doesn’t tend to talk much about school, but lately he’s been coming home in a good mood, so I thought things were going okay. Tonight, while we were playing football and passing the ball to each other, he casually mentioned that he’s already been sent to the headteacher’s office four times this month.

I asked him why, and he told me, “Because I can’t keep my hands to myself. I keep hitting and pushing the other kids because they annoy me. They make me do it.” 😩 Honestly, how many times have I heard that excuse?

There are a few things I’m really struggling with:

1. I’m upset that no one from the school has contacted me. I completely understand that teachers are incredibly busy, but I feel like I should be informed when he’s repeatedly getting into trouble and being sent to the headteacher’s office. How can I help him if I don’t know what’s happening?

2. I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. He’s the same at home with his sibling. He’s constantly pushing and hurting them, and it’s becoming really difficult to manage.

I’m worried that his impulsivity is going to affect his relationships at school and make it difficult for him to form friendships. I’m scared that if this continues, other children won’t want to be around him.

I’m also finding this particularly difficult because I’m a very peaceful person and strongly against violence. I know he’s only seven, and I understand that ADHD can make impulse control difficult, but I also want him to learn that hurting others is not okay, regardless of how annoyed or frustrated he feels.

For parents of children with ADHD, especially those who struggle with impulsivity and physical aggression, what has actually helped? How do you teach them to manage those impulses and stop hitting or pushing when they’re frustrated? And how do you approach the school when you feel you’re not being kept informed?

I’m feeling upset, worried and a little lost at the moment. I want to help him before this starts affecting his friendships and self-esteem, but I honestly don’t know what the best approach is. 💔

Having similar struggles with my 8 year old, who's currently under assessment, but thankfully his teacher informs me every time there's a situation. With DS it mostly happens when playing football at break so he has been suspended from playing for a while.

What support is your DS getting? For my DS the school has talked to him about different calm down options he has when he gets frustrated and they are going to do some friendship skills sessions with the boys in his class.

Yes these are all good ideas, we have the iep plan set for beginning of November so really hoping that helps.

I need to gather together a good list of things that will help him.

how does the school communicate with you and do you feel like it’s very often that he’s getting into trouble ?

Medicate him
If he keeps thumping people when he is in secondary school he will be excluded, at worst arrested.

I get messages or lesson notes in the school app on the day it happens usually, though worried that'll change when his teacher goes on maternity leave and they get a substitute instead.
I don't know if it's often really, feels like it because his sister never gets into trouble, but its been 4 or 5 times this term. He is getting better at calming himself though, I saw him at a football match when he got tripped and I could see in his face that he first got angry then started to think it over then got up and carried on playing.

Yes we speak a lot about this to him, and the consequences even the ones which would happen as he gets older, he dosnt thump he pushes and kicks but I suppose thumping could occur as he gets older :( gosh he’s such a loving little boy but when he gets frustrated that’s it !

im booking the appointment with the physcologist and taking it from there

Yes exactly like my son, my daughter is so well behaved I get compliments haha but my son is our little whirlwind, we also started football 3x a week for 1.5hrs and it’s helped SO much, he really needs the exercise after being at school all day, I haven’t yet seen him get into any situations yet and usually he’ll only go for it if an adult is not watching.

yesterday he did tell me that the head praised him for not hitting the kid back who hit him because he told the teacher instead, he’s the only boy in our family and the only one diognosed with adhd though I’m sure his dad has it 😂

I’m going to speak about maybe a friendship lesson at school and also to communicate each time (sometimes I’d rather not know because it makes me so sad thinking he’s giving the teachers a hard time and even himself) but I need to know !

I think we will also consider medication.

I hope you get your diagnosis soon ! Xx

If you are open to thinking about the causes of ADHD and alternative treatments take a look at this video:

The title if you don't trust links is

Can Ketogenic Therapy Transform ADHD and Autism in Kids?

The doctor being interview is a pediatric neurologist so not a new age quack. Changing the diet is a simple intervention, but it might help.
Best wishes and good luck.

Sports helps so much, DS has activities nearly every day of the week (football, ice hockey, wrestling, circus school, and scouts) and they really help use up his energy and gives him things to focus on at home too like practicing football or hockey shots, or practicing with the diablo. I also send him on bike rides frequently. Maybe you could ask for movement breaks in school to give him a chance to get excess energy out and calm down? DS's school already does them in every lesson, plus outside for 15 minutes every hour, which I'm sure helps everyone but especially the children with adhd.

My very well behaved DD is also being assessed for adhd funnily enough, not sure if she has it but she might be masking very well.

Well done! Good on you for taking this seriously.
Any violence of any type is not ok. When he is older, he won't get away with a criminal record just because he has ADHD. He will be expected to handle it.