How to deal with this from DS

[iwant2cats]

DS(5) will wail when told off that no one loves him. Reassurance that I do just leads to fierce denials of this fact. It is really hard to deal with as obviously I don’t want him to feel like this but equally he does need telling off sometimes!

Re iterate “ I do love you and always will , this yelling and crying is not helping you feel better so let’s read a book/ draw a picture/ look for a plant / tree/ butterfly/ yellow car and then we can plan what we are having for lunch today .. I fancy cheese crackers , what would you like ? “
Absolute denial and then distraction
Good luck 💐

Ignore it he’s worked out it’s getting a reaction.Just a very brief “Of course I love you” then move on.

Agree it’s an attention seeking ploy. It’s funny the first poster says deny and distract, because that’s what he seems to be doing to you, not the other way round. He’s got into trouble and instead of being told off, he’s manipulating situations where he’s being comforted and fussed over instead. While it’s happening I’d completely ignore it. When he is calm I would reinforce that of course you love him no matter what, and why does he feel the need to say that when he’s being told off?

Don't allow him to distract you from that fact. He has worked out what works in his favour basically. And so young.

@iwant2cats my almost 7 year old does this sometimes - usually when he's absolutely beyond anything (tired or overwhelmed) and I've learnt to take a breath, say yes I do and you know I do, but sometimes as Mum I need to tell you when you're doing XUZ. Don't let it get to you, don't do a big reaction, don't get drawn into "no you don't/yes I do" etc.

My son HATES getting told off or thinking he's done something wrong. School have said he's basically perfect there all day and looks panicked if he doesn't know an answer or something (he's diagnosed autistic - only saying this for info on our situation though) and at school it's anxiety which he keeps inside, but at home it can sometimes just all spill out.

I have 3 boys and my stock reply to this has always been something along the lines of "of course I do that's why I'm helping you learn what is right and what is wrong. Mummies and daddies that don't love their children wouldn't bother to help their children learn." How you word it depends on their age and understanding.

Thanks all. He was very tired and probably a bit hungry. Roast chicken dinner and bananas and custard has restored him! I just hate to think he thinks no one loves him but equally I don’t like him saying it because it feels a bit manipulative if I’m honest!

Of course I love you, but sometimes I don't like the things you do.