Do you raise your children in London? Are you scared?

[novadandypowder]

With all the news reports of shootings and stabbings, my DH mentioned to me last night that he's having second thoughts about raising our 2 dc's in London. We've both lived here for over 10 years and have a dd 2.7 and ds 15mnths. I would like to think my DH is over-reacting, and I do love this city most of the time, but I must admit, I'm a bit scared now too.

How do you feel about it?

My boyfriend lives in SW London & I do really worry about him going home from wherever on his own at night. & the same with other friends who live around London.

Whenever I've been there I've felt pretty safe - I live in a village & I think I feel safer walking on his street than around my village in the evening as it's well lit & busy.

It is very worrying how many random attacks there have been.

But then in so called "nice" or even "upmarket" areas you get violence, drugs etc.

I was born and brought up in NE London so was fairly streetwise as a teenager. I now live in a SW London borough with a very low crime rate and am not too worried about the DSs future wanderings.

I agree with those who've said that drugs are probably a bigger problem in rural areas.

I'm more worried about alcohol-fuelled violence than knife/gun crime, tbh.

I grew up in a large, US city that was once the murder capital of the entire country.

Gun crime was the bulk of it.

As an adult, I find I have a lot in common with people from Johannesburg with regards to personal safety and security.

I don't see where London is any scarier than any large city in the world, FWIW.

blondilocks there is no drugs or violence in the area i live at all

but i agree you get bit of good and bad in most places you just have to weigh it up

Ds2 and his friends are very shaken up by the 2 recent stabbings. They are all nice kids - sensible, streetwise, and all have been mugged, robbed several times. They tell me that they are disturbed by the two most recent murders because it seems that Ben kinsella was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and was not associated with any gang, and the second boy (sorry - can't remember his name - poor kid) was lured to his death by a girl he knew.

Ds2 went out recently and spent his birthday money on a game for his Wii, and he called me to ask me to pick him up, because he was nervous about coming home on the bus. This is a first for him. He is a brave, strong lad, and has been beaten up and robbed a few times and got up and got on with his life, but he is starting to feel scared now.

Just to clarify - I am not saying anyone deserves to be stabbed. Just that Ds and his friends used to feel that it is possible to avoid trouble, walk away, avoid gangs/territories etc. Now they feel that they are less likely to be able to do that - the chances of being attacked have now increased.

I grew up in Rural West Norfolk and have lived in London for 11 yrs. DD is 11 weeks and I constantly wonder where I would like her to grow up. I spent far too much time worrying about the pro's and con's of both areas. I was fortunate to spend some time with some kids of all ages. I now have a strong belief in parenting. I know that lots of the horrible things are random and being in the wrong place at the wrong time but alot isn't. I worked as a health professional in an inner london estate and saw the outcomes of how children were parented. Morals and beliefs are instilled from birth so hopefully dd will learn the differences .

Sadly - it isn't about how we bring up our own children. The basic rules no longer apply. There is a whole generation of feral teenagers who have not been parented or brought up in any sense that most normal people would understand. They have no concept of the value of human life, or right from wrong. The parents don't care. The police do nothing.

I live in London and have done for 25 years, including Brixton during the riots, and Hackney. I now live in a relatively peaceful area, but not without gun and knife crime. I worry about it all but am not sure I will move away. The most horrific crimes that stick in my memory are the murders of those two little girls in Soham and the murders of Lynn and Megan Russell, and they both happened in idyllic rural areas. London is my home. I may change my mind one day. But not for the time being.

I live in South London and have dd nearly 3yrs and dd 6 months and I'm happy to say we're moving to Zurich in October. It terrified me the thought of them growing up here. I've lived here all my life and will miss it - but not for my kids with whats going on at the moment. It doesn't matter how you parented your kids, what class, what colour etc - everyone's being affected.

I grew up in the countryside and then lived in London as soon as I started work, and the problem is, neither are great. As a teenager in rural Sussex I was pretty bored from 15-17 and although I never got into drugs (was sporty) I can see how people did.

But then the problem with London was the casual nature of crime. Most people I knew had been mugged at some point. But then the opportunities and fun things to do in London are second to none.

But now I live in Sydney and so far it seems the best of both worlds - lively and interesting city to explore, but you don't seem to get the gangs of feral youths hanging around just causing trouble. I'm sure it does have problems, but just not as noticeable as in London.

We live in East London. Gangs of teenagers hang around our road most nights. Our neighbour was mugged quite violently just minutes from where we live. A drug dealer and his cronies have made our block their regular patch.

But we're moving to rural Norfolk in less than two months and I absolutely can't wait. Yes i know that kids get bored in rural communities and drugs can be a problem. But kids round here are bored shitless in the 'most exciting city in the world'. There's a million and one things to do but they don't care in the least and drift into drugs and violent crime anyway.

When dd grows up she can hopefully see why we made the decision we did, and understand that she can make her own choices about where to live. If she chooses London, well good for her but at least her formative years will have been spent somewhere less stressful and hopefully this will benefit her in the long run.

One of the things that does sadden me is that my dss have no faith in the police at all - and their experiences bear that out. I too have now lost faith in the police. I have seen far too many examples of bungling incompetence, hopelessly outdated and inadequate systems, far too much concentration on soft targets in order to meet government targets and tick boxes. I don't feel that I can rely on the police in this country to protect me and my family. I feel very vulnerable.

I've lived in south London all my life and have only ever been a victim of crime when i lived in Leeds (admittedly as a student - always going to be at greater risk imo) I think being in London makes you more aware and therefore more ready for any problems. There can be too much complancency in so called leafy areas or nice rural parts of the country. DH is from Jersey and it always looks like a great place to bring up children; great beaches, small friendly community, high standard of living. But Jersey has one of the highest drug problems in the UK, partly due to very high disposable incomes, but it just goes to show.... We'll be staying put in London for the time being.

During my induction for some social work I was doing, one of the myths that they quickly dispelled was that child and spouse abuse only happened in deprived households. A lot happens behind closed doors in desirable and so called safe communities.

Totalmisfit, wasn't it Tony Martin in rural Norfolk who shot dead a young burglar on his farm and injured his partner in crime? Rural Norfolk has a crime problem that is not being addressed because people have their heads firmly buried in the sand.

Bettymama, in Zurich, a survey last year showed that one in four of the 2500 14 and 15-year-olds questioned was a victim of violent crime in the past two and a half years but as usual it was blamed on immigrants (the non-white variety because as we all know, some immigrants are more acceptable than others).

Crime happens everywhere but places like London tend to get a bad name because it is more widely reported on than other areas.

Isn't the "knife crime epidemic" just stupid media hooha, like the dangerous dogs and flesh-eating bugs a few years ago?

I've lived in London for a decade, mainly in the cheap and dodgy bits (Elephant, Brixton, Streatham etc) and can't remember ever seeing any violence or feeling particularly threatened, despite often coming home pissed and alone late at night.

Currently 30 weeks PG with DC1 and will be moving oop north in about three weeks. It's nothing to do with any crime epidemics, I just bloody hate London and have done for most of the time I've lived here - it's dirty, expensive and far too bloody big. We want space and for our DCs to be able to grow veg and look at cows and stuff Both DC and I were brought up in fairly rural communities and are country-lovers at heart. As far as I know, no one I was at school with has had or died from any drug or car related incidents - perhaps I just don't pay attention!

So no and no

There was an A&E consultant on the radio this morning saying how much worse the incidence of knife injuries/stabbings is now.

I have lived in London for 28 years, and I work in the NHS - I think it really is worse than even 10 years ago.

The problem with the dangerous dogs is increasing in my part of north London. We never used to see teenaged gangs with these "accessories" - now I see them regularly on my way to and from work etc.

My friend (visiting me today) has lived in London for 65 years. she says she feels intimidated on public transport.

re; the dangerous dogs bit....now that would be great to make illegal....any one with me??

Not London, but another large city and yes, I find it terrifying here mostly.