Do you raise your children in London? Are you scared?

[novadandypowder]

With all the news reports of shootings and stabbings, my DH mentioned to me last night that he's having second thoughts about raising our 2 dc's in London. We've both lived here for over 10 years and have a dd 2.7 and ds 15mnths. I would like to think my DH is over-reacting, and I do love this city most of the time, but I must admit, I'm a bit scared now too.

How do you feel about it?

We live in west london. I love london and have always felt its a very safe city. I might change my mind when my children get older, but at the moment we are staying put.

Maybe Ray Lewis can make it all better...

By the way did I tell you about the massive knife that we found in our front garden? Truly, it made my blood run cold just to look at it. Had to pick the bugger up with a plaggy bag and take it to the local nick. Where even they commented that it was a big knife...

we live in London
yes it's a bit scary and it does worry me

however I agree with Marina-the centre of small towns feel a lot more threatening to me on a Saturday night and I've seen posts from people here living in what you might suppose to be pleasant rural towns and villages about problems with drunks in the streets at night being rowdy and causing trouble-we live in an OK but definitely not posh part of SE London and I have to say I have never encountered a similar problem

also I was bored rigid in the village where I grew up.
dh grew up by the sea in North wales-it was good for him, he's an outdoor sort of chap but a lot of the other kids went a bit off the rails and got into drugs etc

I think you can get into a bad crowd anywhere and end up in trouble

London has a lot to offer, I think I would have loved to grow up there.

Mind you, ask me again in a few years when dd is a bit older and going to school-will most likely be plotting a retreat out of town...

I live in North London. I have a 13 year old. No, I'm not frightened for her at all. I would be far more wary of her coming home down a lonely country lane alone, than down our street. We live in a fairly nice leafy inner suburb, but she has plenty of friends round about in what you might say were much hotter crime spots. She's been getting about alone on buses since she was 8, learning the ropes slowly by starting off on the "school run" bus only. Now she gads about all over the place on the Tube and bus, into the West end even.

When she asked last year to go to an under-18s night, I said no. This was on the basis that (a) she was 12 (b) even if she was 15 I probably still would have said no, given the night was in a club, in a slightly dodgy area where I've seen people dealing crack in broad daylight outside a nearby pub (c) I didn't want her mixing with 17 year old boys when she looks about 14 and could feel pressured by them and (d) an under-18s night doesn't mean a load of kids won't turn up pissed beforehand.

I think if you're wise to what goes on around you, you can point out the dangers to your teens and let them learn. Granted, you can't stop someone jumping on them in a queue in a Sainsbury's local for no apparent reason (I saw that happen near us one night), but I reckon that could happen anywhere, not just in a city.

My first encounter with anyone taking drugs was when I was about 12 and was out with some "nice young people" my grandparents had introduced me to in their VERY nice suburb in Surrey. They were all dropping acid before going to the cinema. Living in a "nice" area, isn't automatic protection for children anyway, so I won't let it dictate where we live.

I still live in roughly the same area of South London that I grew up in. I have to be honest and say that I don't feel any more threatened now than I did as a teen. Actually, because of mobile phones I probably feel slightly more confident walking around late at night than I did before. Having said that I am nervous at the prospect of the DSs being out and about (DS1 starts secondary school next September) but I don't know whether I would have felt just as nervous 20 years ago (if that makes any sense) There were muggings and assaults then, but the level of violence used during them seems to be higher.

I don't have a choice about moving out of London, but I don't think I would anyway. There are problems where ever you go and there are lots of advantages to living here. All you can do is prepare your DCs the best you can and hope for the best.

Live in London (in a 'nice' bit of Hackney) and teach/taught in London (and know a fair few children who have been caught up in gang/postcode stuff) but am I scared here? No. Far more scared of kicking out time in the towns - loads of drunken men and women spoiling for a fight eek.

Think kids can learn how to get into/stay out of trouble wherever you live tbh.

I live in a borough of greater London (SW) and I am not worried about my DSS now, but will be worried about them once they turn teenagers. I will be worried about their personal safety and their influences once they are old enough to no longer be influenced enough by their parents .

Would not move as I LOVE London and feel it is the best multicultural place to raise my children in the UK (DSS are mixed race).

However, we also have to remember that although the recent incidents have been happening in London, gang violence/violent assaults happen in cities across the UK.
Dispatches had a programme last night which was looking at the gangs around Liverpool and Glasgow.

I am in London but have preschoolers
I would not be happy to raise teens in London right now just due to the general levels of mindless violence

I'm also in SW greater London and have lived here all my life. I'm not worried at all. I don't think London is any worse than anywhere else in the country, really. Even really sleepy little places can be dangerous if you read situations wrongly.

eeeeek at knife 6spotburnet

another sw surburban londoner. London is so big and diverse it's impossible to generalise. we have decided recently to move out to breathe some country air but we're not moving permanently because we think where we are would be a brilliant place to be a teenager - there is so much going on, they can be independent - no need to ferry them everywhere, we have good state schools. we are lucky to be quite some distance from areas where there have been violent crime - though nowhere is immune and we have had a drive-by drug related shooting a mile or so from our house(as well as that complete lunatic who attacked blondes - but that is, I think, something different)- and our local town centre is pretty hideous on a saturday night (but then again, isn;t everywhere?). Ultimately I agree with what Marina says - I'll do what I can do advise them and bring them up with wider interests but I won't take them away from this amazing city (apart from for the next 2 years...)

and, having been brought up in a rural area I would worry more about drugs there than I would in London. dds will have such a vast number of people to choose their friends from that the chances of them falling in with the "wrong crowd" are actually less in London (not non-existent, but less). In rural areas there often is no "wrong" and "right" crowd - everyone knows everyone and you can;t get away from the wrong 'uns...

I grew up in a 'nice' bit of Surrey and went to private schools. One kid got knifed on my school bus, the prefects at school got into trouble for using whips and knuckledusters on smaller kids in the cloakrooms, and the ice-cream man was eventually done for selling cocaine. Loads of drug addicts throwing syringes into my parents' garden, and yobs causing trouble at closing time.

London seems pretty similar, just more people in less space. I've experienced more threats in small towns than in London. Many of my friends here have kids and they have so many more opportunities at (state) school and outside than I did, just because of everything being close together. With luck they'll have too many other things to do to bother taking drugs.

Forgot to say - almost all the incidents of violence involving people I was at school with got hushed up and didn't make the newspapers, and rarely the police. In London it seems every bit of misbehaviour is recorded as a crime if someone reports it.

Which bit of London are you talking about? Its a very big place.

I agree that gangs are alarming. However, at least living near London (well we do get to vote for the mayor even if we are on the outskirts), they will be able to walk to the swimming pool/cinema to meet their friends and not be stuck swigging cider on the village green.

I would love to live somewhere like where my IL's live - sea on one side, miles and miles of countryside on the other. However, there isn't much to do if you are 15 and want to see your friends.

I think London is such a massive place with huge variations on areas that it is very difficult to generalise. I can only go on my feelings. I lived in East London and we moved out of London 3 months ago. The area we lived in although up and coming had shocking schools and was awful to walk around in the eve and even during the day kids from the local estate zooming around on trail bikes up and down pavements. So even though we had been adament about staying in London as soon as my DS started to walk we realised it was an impossiblity for us as a family to stay where we were. On the other hand we lived in NY for 2yrs before DS and I wouldnt hesitate living there and bringing my kids up in NY so much safer. But I do realise that its not just London everywhere has its probs from tiny villages to big cities. There needs to be a nationwide programme for young people teaching them about respect for themselves and others and then maybe we might start getting somewhere also the police need to be out on force more often an more visable presence on the streets might help.

Thing is, all my friends who have teenagers in London say their kids have been mugged - several times. That's only a handful of parents that I happen to know, of course, but still...

hatwoman, I think you must live quite near me. I'm not far from the nutter with a thing about blondes either.

I've always lived in London. I do feel increasingly nervous, I have a son and would feel less nervous in some ways with a daughter I think. I never had any hassle at all when I grew up, and I know my brother did. I've never had any intention of leaving London, I love it here, but the Ben Kinsella thing especially has really rattled me and for the first time I can imagine that I might think about moving, but will see how I feel when ds hits 11 or so, he's still very little.

lucicle - has to be said I breathed a huge sigh of relief when they got him. I'm not young or blonde - and I'm not a paranoid crime-fearing type - but it was always in my mind that he was around.

Moved back to wales six months ago.Yes it is much less crime filled here after King's cross ha ha,but I do worry about the drugs thing later as rural areas are usually druggy as hell.

I breathed a sigh of relief, too, hatwoman. I'm neither young nor blonde but I have young blonde cousins who live here, too, and it does prey on your mind!

Yes and Not really.
It's a big place, bad things do happen,
but on the whole London is amazingly safe
given how crowded and diverse it is.