Feel like ehcp won’t change anything

[PisforPumpkin]

My son has hated school ever since he started Reception, and unfortunately it’s never got any better. He’s now 12, and every morning is absolute hell. He refuses to go, takes hours to get ready, and is just desperately unhappy. He hates everything about school and always has.
He’s diagnosed autistic and has ADHD, and he also doesn’t sleep properly at night, which obviously makes everything even harder.
I applied for an EHCP myself, and the local authority has agreed to assess him, but I can’t help wondering what it will actually change. An EHCP isn’t going to suddenly make him want to attend school, and if I still physically can’t get him there, what difference will it make?
For parents who have been in a similar situation, what can an EHCP actually do when a child is this unhappy and has been refusing school for years? I’m struggling to see what practical difference it could make. He has some help already and is part of a nurture group, school are referring for counselling, done ebsa support but nothing has helped so far.

An EHCP absolutely can make a difference. For some, more support means their experience of school improves. Even if mainstream still isn’t going to work, an EHCP opens the doors to other placements and, if it is inappropriate for provision to be made in a school, EOTAS/EOTIS.

Make sure you request the LA seeks all the necessary advice and information during the needs assessment including from SALT and OT also CP &/or psychiatrist.

In the meantime, if DS can’t attend school full time, is alternative provision in place?

Does DS take anything to help with sleep?

Its not the end of the battle, but it’s a crucial thing to have. Since having DS’s EHCP I’ve not had to justify / explain his needs and his needs are no longer minimised. It’s not just “mum says”, “mum’s anxious” etc. It isn’t as powerful as I thought it would be re getting and keeping the provision, and the EHCP coordinator role has just been a revolving door of short term employees who seem pretty useless. However the EHCP itself is something we’ve used as parents, at times with legal advice, to hold the school to account. It also resulted in DS getting higher level needs funding.

Don’t underestimate a clearly written EHCP. Watch out for woolly language in the draft though - make sure provision is clearly stated and not open to interpretation.

He goes to school every day he just isnt going on time, it’s lunch time he is going in as I can’t get him in any sooner. He has melatonin but doesnt seem to get him to sleep, he is sleeping at 1am most nights.

Thanks I just don’t know how it’s going to change him wanting to go to school, I get told every day how much he hates it. The school have put some things in place he has a late pass but that’s just 9am he isn’t going to 11-12 he refuses to leave the house, refuses to dress.

Well an EHCP would look at what adjustments he needs to be able to fully participate in school.

I imagine it's hard to see the wood for the trees, and if he's always hated school he probably doesn't even know what it is he hates so much? My son was the same by the way.

But a good educational psychologist (who hopefully will assess as part of the EHCP process, provided by the local authority) will try and identify what it is exactly that doesn't work for him. We found with my son there were quite specific things in fact. Things like mealtimes where the smell of all the food made him feel sick. Or the fact the room was noisy. Or certain lessons he found it hard to follow.

I don't know what your son's issues are, but there will be some. And the point of an EHCP is that it can look for fixes. Like specify he can come in a bit later if crowds are a problem. Or do some subjects in a quieter room. And you can work with them to try and problem solve as to those parts of school that don't work for him.

Is DS taking immediate release melatonin, prolonged release or both? And has he tried any other medication to help with sleep?

Is it every day DS isn’t going in until lunchtime? If so, I would request alternative provision either as well as part time school or instead of.

An EHCP could also help you access a school that would be better for him - one he likes.

Yes an EHCP will open up more options and remember that it stays in place until your ds is 25 (unless he starts a job at 18). This will help support and give him access to different post 16 options that would not be available to someone without an EHCP.

An EHCP's value also depends on the provision stated so professional advice like others have mentioned such as OT etc. No it won't suddenly make him want to go to school but it can open doors to extra support.

He does not want to change schools I’ve discussed that with him and he isn’t willing to change schools, his friend goes to this school and he doesn’t want to change schools for that reason. Tbh I'm not convinced he’d like any school, the issues he names would be a problem whatever school he went to. He didn’t like primary either. This is our local school so any other school I’d worry about the distance he’d have to travel if he can’t get to this one on time (8 minutes walk away) any others would require multiple bus changes which I think he would find more stressful.

It's hard to imagine your child enjoying school, isn't it?

DD2 struggled from year R-year 10. She finally collapsed in year 10 (I think Covid lockdown helped keep her going). Her EHCP gave her an independent special school which didn't work well, EOTAS which wasn't great but gave her breathing room, a second independent special school which worked really hard to meet her needs, and now college with 1:1 support.

DD3 also got an independent special school with her EHCP and now attends 100% of her school days.

Prolonged

Have you considered online school?
https://nationalonlineschool.org.uk/ can either be named as the school on the ehcp or can work in partnership with an in-person school to offer a phased hybrid programme that aims to help a child to start attending in-person full time.

Your child is overwhelmed and exhausted. He's not learning anything in school when it's that much effort just to get there. Step one is to find a way that he can get through a day feeling ok, there's no point trying to make education happen until that is achieved. THEN you can start finding a way to include education into that.

Sometimes DC don’t want to move schools because the thought of change, the unknown, is scary. Sometimes they can’t rationalise the bigger picture.

But even if DS doesn’t move schools, an EHCP can provide further support.

You could request to try immediate release melatonin as well.

What are the issues he’s named?

Thats the thing he is quite academic despite hardly ever being in, he is in 2nd to top sets for most of his subjects despite how much school he has missed. So I feel like taking him out would be letting him down.

He says he hates everything, but his biggest struggle is how long the day is he said the day is far too long

What does he find exhausting? Noise, the number of people around? The unpredictability of other people? Having to 'perform' socially?

I think you need to unpick a bit more.

For DD it was a huge help to have somewhere quiet and 'protected ' when she was getting overwhelmed. The SEND team centre was only available to those on the SEN register and had staff around during breaks and lunch. So she went there during breaks. The staff would check in how she was doing, and were there to chat if she needed to off load.

In lesson time there was a 'quiet room' where she could go at any time, she would take her work and do it there rather than in the mainstream class. She didn't have to ask permission, she just said to the teacher she was going there and the class teacher would message them to expect her (so she couldn't just disappear).

She also missed PE for a couple of years because it was semi structured and there was too much interpersonal 'work' and negotiation. She went to the quiet room and did her homework instead.

So it can help if you can work.out which bits are difficult for your DS.

The thing is that days don’t feel long unless there’s something specific that a person cannot handle. For my DD it’s sensory input (smells, noise, touch, crowds) that really messes her up. A lack of clear scheduling and predictability is also a major issue - so having to sit in different seats, changes in teaching staff, school not sticking to the timetable.

We had to spend a long time figuring out the triggers (the EHCP and diagnosis processes both helped with this), and once we’d removed them, everything got better. So please don’t despair - the EHCP process can be really helpful and the EHCP then means everyone has something solid to work with, rather than a vague feeling that ‘X might help’.

Dont take it for granted that it'll last until 25. As soon as they hit 18 the pressure is massively ramped up to end it.

OP get the EHCP. It'll open doors to SEND provision and maybe a school that can meet need.

I feel for you. It's sounds like he has a decent dose of PDA and usually these kids need home / other type of education in the end.

Parents/YP don’t have to bow to LA pressure though, and if the LA try to cease to maintain, there is the right of appeal. If there is an appeal, the EHCP must be maintained until the conclusion of the appeal, so it’s worth doing.

For mine (x 2) it has enabled them to attend a send school when mainstream wasn't a suitable environment. EOTAS packages (education other than at school when no setting is appropriate)m education behind the bog standard ages, plus access to a supported internship.

@PisforPumpkin if DS drew/wrote about his ideal school, what would he draw &/or write? Do you have a map of the school? If so, ask DS to colour it in - red for the difficult areas, green for the good bits, orange/yellow for the middle. Both of these can help you dig into what exactly DS struggles with.

Hi sorry for the late response to this, I had the educational psychologist assessment this morning and he seemed to think my sons troubles getting to school and getting out to school in the morning are not related to an EHCP and was a matter for “social care” so doesn’t look good and feel silly for applying now!

Don’t feel silly. You aren’t. The EP is wrong. I would be strongly challenging that view. If the LA refuses to issue based on that, appeal.

The Ed Pyc is normally paid by the LA they will try to mis-direct and are under a lot of pressure to not recommend EHCPs due to funding / budgets. From what you have written your son very much does sound like he has needs that an EHCP that will help to support-fund the extras. Keep fighting be prepared to appeal but realistically with the long delays within the sendist tribunal process you could be looking at anywhere from 1-3yrs to get a detailed specified funded plan in place. As if they don’t agree to issue a plan you have to appeal, then they issue a half arsed poorly specified plan and you appeal - statistically parents win most cases but the LA will keep stalling to save money. Keep working with the school, ask about Section 19 Alternative provision as well.