Overtired with a toddler

[MK8]

Hi all…This is going to sound (and be) a long moan……But I’m looking for some reassurance or similar experiences to what I am feeling right now.
My boy is 13 months old and he is without doubt the love of my life.
However, life is very difficult. Where to start..? He’s teething since he was 5-6 months old but only got his first tooth at 11 months old. He is incredibly uncomfortable or maybe just too sensitive to pain, but there is no way of cohabitating with him without some Calpol or Nurofen. The issue is I don’t want to keep medicating him because I know it isn’t healthy.
He is breastfed, on demand. Incredibly clingy. I don’t get a minute to myself when he is awake. He moans, cries, wants to be held or see everything that I am doing (fair enough, I try my best to facilitate this). He doesn’t really play alone, only with me. And when he naps I have to clean and cook and tidy up and use the toilet, and plan the day, and do the laundry, all in 1-2 hour’s time if I’m lucky. I cannot think straight when he is always clinging to me and being loud, or when he interrupts me every 1 minute. My brain cannot focus on anything. I feel I am being a bad and incompetent mother, but I am lacking any energy. Lately (last couple of nights) he has been waking up, wanting to breastfeed, not wanting to let go, or else he will again become restless and cry. Stays awake for 2-3 hours.
He is also not a good eater, he doesn’t sit in his high chair longer than 3-5 minutes as he wants to get down and explore/play. Therefore I am also concerned about his nutrition. I am not the sort of parent that believes in the trend of ‘You choose what/when to feed the child, so let him choose how much to eat’. That doesn’t make any sense to me. So I do chase him around a little bit, and he will eat considerably better. I don’t force him, he opens his mouth for an extra bite without hesitation.
I feel I am losing the plot. I know my desperation is exacerbated by the tiredness I have lately accumulated, but I need to hear other experiences. Will this change/improve? Is this my reality now that I have a toddler?

Thanks!

This sounds very normal!!! It was at this age I put both mine into nursery for a few days a week and went back to work not long after. Do you look after him all week on your own? Do you have a partner? I found them very needy at this age and you do need a break sometimes!! Xx

As a mum to a 12 year old and an 18 month old, all of this is a phase, ride it out as best you can and it will pass just like the rest. You have my sympathies though, currently in the trenches with mine and slowly losing the will to live atm.

I found 9-12 months by far the hardest stage of parenting, hands down. Well, my son is only 2.5 😂 but this neediness, teething, etc does improve massively.

Hang in there. Sleep when the baby sleeps still applies. Don't use your downtime for all the chores.

I don't do any chores when my toddler is sleeping. I sit, watch TV and doze. I cook and do laundry with him around me. I have special stickers hidden in every room/bathroom. A toddler tower in the kitchen is an absolute MUST. They love it. I bought it when he was 12 months. Yes, everything takes longer. But I like being useful and I find it more enjoyable to do stuff than just play and never rest.

I look after him 5/7, and the other two days my husband is with him, when I’m at work. I feel some of it might be my fault, as I didn’t want him to go to nursery and I wanted him all for myself. Maybe it’s just me not being ready. But I feel I’m slowly getting there! 🫣

Oh, thank you! And good luck to you as well! :)

Well…I respect parents that can do that, but it’s not my personality, and I know I’m probably not doing myself any favours. I would need some sedation in order for my brain to ignore the mess around me and just enjoy a TV show. My husband though is very good at this. 😬
On the other side, I fully agree that is more enjoyable to do stuff together, as I am much better at this than playing anyway. Thank you for your comment! I think I needed the reminder. :)