Two year old not napping or eating well. Does it get better?

[ExhaustedPinkOctopus]

I don't know if I need advice or just reassurance. Or just 5 minutes peace!

My two year old (as in just turned 2 in the last few weeks) has always fought a nap, and has been down to one midday sleep since they were 7 months old.
Last week we were on holiday, and she didn't nap a single second. We dealt with it, but it was tough. Since we've been back, still no naps. And the evening meltdowns are hard. She's exhausted. To make matters worse, she was awake for FOUR hours in the middle of the night last night. We haven't had a split night in months, so its taken its toll on us. I always thought that a long wake in the middle of the night meant that they weren't tired enough when they went to bed, but she had been up for 13 hours straight! And running around like crazy all day, how could she not be tired.
She's also refusing to eat anything other than fruit and crisps. Can't even get toast into her anymore.

Is this normal at 2? Should I be forcing naps, or just riding out the tantrums until she's better and accept that I'll never have half an hour to myself while she sleeps again? Will it get better?

I'm an older mum and she is my only, and I'd love to give her a sibling. But time is getting a bit short and the thought of having another child honestly makes me want to cry. We're so tired!

Or do I just need to give myself a shake and get over it?

Poor you, that’s tough.

Some just turned two year olds are ready to drop the nap but IME it’s most common to drop it between two and a half and two and three quarters. My DD is 3 and a quarter and hasn’t slept in the day for a while but sometimes will doze off on longish car journeys. Would she sleep in the car at all?

Food wise I do think it gets a lot better; DD was a terrible eater at two but has a healthy (if limited) diet now.

Oh and two children isn’t compulsory; if you’re happier at one stay at one, honestly.

My DS didn't eat and didn't sleep.
In the end I put little pots of snacks, fruit, cereal, cheese etc. around the place and left him to graze. No pressure, no meal times, no conversations about food, just a mix of food available when he needed it.
Once he was eating more, he was calmer and slept better. Then he was rested and ate better and so he slept better and ate better.
It was like we broke the cycle of too tired to eat too hungry to sleep.
Then we could ditch the grazing and everything became a lot calmer and fit in better with family meals.

Good luck, it won't last forever, you will find something that works for you.

Mine never napped without help - I did 3.5 years of walking the pram round the block or in desparate times driving round the block - would that work?
I agree with PP her eating differently may help? Will she eat yogurt, pasta, crackers, etc?

My DS is 2 and 3 months and does nap now but we do seem to go through some difficult phases. When he just turned 2, i had to take him out in the pram to nap. Once I had to take him in the baby carrier as the pram wasn't doing it! He was just on the limit for the baby carrier lol. We also had the middle of the night 4 hour wake around that time!

I think they get too excited sometimes.

Food is also up and down. I agree with leaving some food around and let her graze a bit.

I have friends with babies/just turned 1 year olds starting to TTC because they are convinced things get easier and easier but I found after 20 months it got TOUGH. I am told from 3.5 they become more reasonable so we plan to TTC when DS turns 3.

Thank you so much for your support ❤️

Going to start leaving food around like a deranged squirrel and see if that helps 😅

I was feeling bad about putting her in the car to get her to nap, but if thats what it takes so be it

it Does sound like she still needs a nap. How did she used to nap? It sounds so tough. It really is relentless sometimes! Is she getting her back molars as well maybe?

It can definitely happen around this age, especially after a holiday or change in routine. I’d try not to force the nap if she’s fighting it, but maybe keep a quiet rest time after lunch so she still gets some downtime. The evening meltdowns could be a sign that she’s overtired, so an earlier bedtime might help while she adjusts. The eating sounds pretty typical too — toddlers can suddenly become very selective. I’d keep offering normal meals alongside the foods she accepts without turning it into a battle. Hopefully things settle once she gets back into her usual routine.