Routines and coping tips for parenting a lively three year old

[Mummytotwoo]

Hi all,
I am a new user and I have just signed up because I am desperately looking for some advice.
My son has recently turned 3 and I am 35 weeks pregnant.
My son is a wonderful little boy and I adore him, but he has some complex needs - he has a speech delay and requires a lot of stimulation. He is a typical little boy who eats mud, loves to get dirty, and loves to play. He will not stop until he’s asleep but he does give me lovely cuddles and is very affectionate. He has recently been referred to the neurological disability team, childcare workers believe he has ADHD.
His need can be challenging as he is so full on all of the time.
my partner works 6 days a week and support is limited. he attends nursery twice a week.

i am asking for advice if any parents can tell me their routines - especially parents with SEN children. Managing the house work, structured routines of what works to make things feel less overwhelming.
I am so scared for when baby arrives and how I am going to manage.
I just struggling at the moment as I am exhausted, I’m full of cold, and just feel rotten.
we have been non stop all day, and he has just smashed a neighbours plant pot this is just completely pushed me over the edge.

just any advice would we really appreciated as today has pushed me over the edge.

thank you x

Get out every day, twice a day. Baby naps in a carrier most of the day. Mine also fed in the carrier - she came out for nappy changes and that was about it in the early days.
Try to keep your usual routine with your three year old. The only thing I couldn't do was swimming and fitting through the rollers at soft play - I could still chase my two year old around the rest of it.
Big days out are your friend. Things like zoos or big farm parks are easy compared to walking by roads to Tesco or the park.
You've got this 💪

If support is limited then put him into nursery as much as possible. Keep routines as much as possible for him. Talk constantly about what you are doing now, what you are doing next and expectations of how it will go and how he will behave, all in a positive way. Talk to him about how lucky he is to have a baby around and discuss what he will help and how amazing he is going to be as a big brother. Make him feel included and part of the plan. You need and deserve rest though, so get any help you can. Particularly with nursery.

we are in the same place lol

If suspected ND, using a visual schedule could help, so he knows what's coming next for example

Wake up
Breakfast
Wash, brush teeth, get dressed
Sit with mum & read a book/watch tv/play with toys while feeding baby
Help mum change baby
Walk to the park/shop/library
Home for lunch, eat lunch while mum feeds baby
Play with mum while baby naps
Out for a run around/ball games
Home for tea
Bathtime
Drink/snack, brush teeth
Stories & cuddles
Sleep time

You can use symbols or pictures to represent each activity.

Try not to worry about housework too much for the first few months, or get it done while he's at nursery. You can bung laundry on before breakfast and hang it up to dry before you go out, wipe round kitchen while you're making lunch, wipe round bathroom while he's in the bath. Invest in a bouncy chair for baby so he/she can sit and watch big brother playing, that usually entertains them!