Baby naps with toddler in tow.

[Rosies8888]

Hoping I can get some advice. I have a 6 mo and a 3.5yo and I’ve been struggling since the birth of our second to be able to get her down for naps. It’s also affecting her nighttime sleep (she’s up every 2hrs at best) as she is so exhausted bless her, and I feel incredibly guilty. The 3.5yo will not be left alone for a minute without me so the baby gets woken or distracted therefore can’t have her nap. We haven’t been a telly family and I’m very hesitant to start now. I have tried:

1. Yoto cards and snack, colouring, music, new books, new toys, a fun box that only comes out for nap times etc.

We have no family or help nearby and it is just me all day and night Mon-Friday, I also do every single night wake as she is BF therefore wants nothing to do with Dad at night. I’m getting very exhausted by this and stressed as I feel like my youngest is not getting the rest she needs and my eldest is copping grumpy Mum after I ask her 98 times to let me put the baby down. The baby will sleep happily on me but I obviously can’t carry her around all day, she will occasionally fall asleep in the carrier but if I stop moving or try to sit down she’s awake so makes playing with toddler hard. I try for at least one nap a day on the move (car or pram) which has moderate success.

i just can’t work out how everyone else is doing it! I feel like I’ve tried everything and every day still end up in tears because I feel so frustrated and guilty.

Honestly, we used tv. Just for nap times. It was either that or constant pram/car naps.

Your 3.5 year old may just be too young to be left by herself, she wants to be around you and baby. Does she go to nursery? If not then see if you can get her into nursery for a few days a week to give you some one on one time with baby. I did that, then the two days older dd was home I concentrated on her and her wants so took her out and baby came along and napped whilst out. That way they both got some dedicated time and naps could happen whilst out.

At one point I was transferring to the pram and putting it in the hallway or turned on TV if a contact nap was required.

Now I just leave my 4 year old downstairs while I put baby down in the cot. She is 10 months now but up until 6 months most of her naps were in the pram in the hallway.

I got a buggy board with a seat off fb marketplace and my toddler sits on that and we walk into town (30mins each way) as baby will sleep in the pram. Is something like that an option? I’m guessing your 3.5 year old has stopped naps themself now?

It's so hard with a toddler!
A few tips

• use the TV if you need to.

-get baby falling asleep on their own, will be much quicker to get them down for a nap and they should sleep for longer at night.

• nursery or childminder 3 x a week, give yourself a break during baby nap time!

• if you cant get her into a nursery then take a look for a local babysitter who can help out a bit during the day. I had a difficult colicy/reflux baby and when my husband was away for work i'd get a local teenager who was fantastic with my toddler to help out after school while I did last nap, dinner, bath and bedtime for the baby as it was non stop screaming from 5pm!

Thank you so much guys, making me feel a lot better that it is actually just tricky! Nursery/childminder isn’t in the budget at the moment, but I’ll definitely have more realistic expectations of my eldest and relax a bit about naps needing to be on the move and not necessarily in the cot. It’s hard to move away from the “perfect conditions” we can create with one kiddo when there are two around! I’ve got this thing in the back of my head that my partners elder sister was doted on and he was just left to his own devices as a kid as she took a lot of energy and it really reflects in their relationships with their parents- basically my silly brain thinks if my youngest naps aren’t perfect she won’t come home for Christmas 😂

Your 3 year old should get 15 hours free nursery of your in the UK.

My children are 5, 3 and 1.5. The little one had every single nap in the baby carrier from 6 weeks to 14 months.

Do whatever you want/need to do! They change so quickly that you’ll soon realise that the bigger one is happy to be left alone, or the smaller one can nap in a different way, and you can switch things up again to suit you all.