Daughter 5 scared of physical activity

[Snickers94]

Hi all,

I have a 5yo daughter who has started Year 1, and has always been a bit behind with her gross motor skills. As a baby she was okay, but she commando crawled initially or did a form of it where she would pull herself with her arms on the ground, and it took her ages to get used to stairs. However she met all her milestones by her 2 year check.

Since then, she’s been a little behind. She struggles with the following:
• Riding a scooter (she can’t lean to steer)
• Riding a bike (she has just learned to ride with stabilisers but doesn’t enjoy it)
• Running and climbing - only uses baby slides and climbing frames
• Soft play - again finds it v scary and not confident with climbing
• Doing and undoing buttons, opening food packets
• She climbs down stairs one foot at a time and is v scared of falling so needs to hold someone’s hand.
• Tends to do things really slowly

In terms of her social, emotional and academic development she’s fine, she’s always been very emotionally aware and a good conversationalist. She excelled in reading and phonics during reception so no issues there. However, since the summer holidays she sometimes writes letters backwards.

i don’t know how to help her develop her gross motor skills. Her new teacher has picked up on it and said she may reach out to the SEN specialist for advice. This has worried me since she’s always been bright and we never had any concerns about any special needs.

Does anyone have advice or shared experiences? Just feel quite alone with this as everyone else’s kids seem to be running, jumping and climbing everything. My little one is quiet and prefers to be indoors doing crafts, colouring, playing with dolls etc.

I’d explore a diagnosis of Dyspraxia.
More info here

https://dyspraxiafoundation.co.uk/advice/dyspraxia-in-children

This can also be linked to Hypermobility. Ask the SENCO about the diagnostic pathway.

I think it’s very hard to distinguish physical ability from a cautious personality. Both my DS are very cautious about physical things, and because they are cautious, don’t practice them as much as their friends so learn them a lot later or not at all. Only started walking at 18 months. Didn’t learn to ride scooters until about age 7, younger DS still can’t really ride a bike now at age 9 (though we live in London so not much opportunity to practice). Hate roller coasters, don’t like jumping off high things, hate climbing. But both have no problems with fine motor skills - Lego, writing, playing musical instruments all fine. I don’t think either have any physical impediments or SEN. They are just kids who are afraid of injuring themselves. Probably not helped by DH who is constantly terrified of them hurting themselves and eg wouldn’t ever let them run on pavement when they were little in case they tripped and grazed their knees.

SEN specialists deal with all kinds of needs, not just intellectual ones. It sounds to me as if your child could usefully be assessed for dyspraxia, and may benefit from the extra level of support that the school could provide. I have a son with dyspraxia (it was called ‘clumsy child syndrome’ then) as the result of a difficult birth. He did eventually learn to do stuff that required co-ordination, but not easily, and to this day (in his 40s) he is a bit uncoordinated. SEN support was really helpful navigating his school years.

Would she be interested in dance/ballet? Trains balancing etc without being scary (the scary stuff comes waaay later)

I would second dyspraxia from my own experience with my DD. And also check eyesight and hearing as school first thought her dislike of slopes may be a balance issue related to hearing.

I am hyper mobile and this still has an effect on my gross motor skills.

Agree with the poster who said to get her eyes and ears checked. I wear glasses and would be much more cautious about stairs (even ones that i am
used to like the one at home) if I didn’t wear glasses.

My dd1 was as you describe and in year 3 she was diagnosed with dsypraxia. A lady came in to assess without being told which child it was for an she picked my dd out instantly from watching a pe lesson.

School have put support in place for building her fine motor (not as behind here) and gross motor skills. She also uses a writing slant and pencil gribs to help. She's only just learnt to ride a bike (at 10) though i think alot of that was confidence

She wouldn't be able to cope with that just yet.

in her reception school report she was doing well in everything except gross motor and fine motor skills. So she loves colouring but struggles with pencil grip and also can’t hold scissors or use them properly.

she loves dancing by herself to music but we put her in dance camp over half term and she found it really challenging and tiring, which is why I’m unsure if she would enjoy dance classes like ballet or be able to keep up.

also, just to add, she isn’t clumsy - she is very very cautious!

Is she hyper mobile or ever been assessed for dyspraxia? Ds avoided trying things so did not look clumsy unless forced beyond his comfort zone.

Dance camp tends to be fulm on - a pre-primary ballet class is a lot more gentle!

Following as my 4 year old DD is the same, I could have written this post myself. We enrolled her in a gymnastics class which after nearly a year 😬 finally seems to be helping but she still dislikes play equipment, won’t go on a swing, wants to hold hands to feel safe etc. She seems to fall over a lot as well. (I am very clumsy too and always have been, don’t like walking down slopes or spinning/swinging)

I also have a gross motor delayed (almost 5 yesr ols) similar to you. Never crawled, walked at 18 months, climbed stairs at 22 months. Always been scared of a bike but getting a bit better. Is ok with a scooter but very slow. Is outrun by basically all his peers.
however his is medical. We didn’t know it until he was 2 but he had genetic testing and was diagnosed with a neurological condition. However his fine motor is and always has been normal.
I have since had a second who crawled at 6 months and could climb the stairs by 9 months - the whiplash was unreal 😅😅

"This has worried me since she’s always been bright and we never had any concerns about any special needs."

I think what needs to change OP is your view of "Special Needs". You have made a whole long list of things your daughter is really behind with, If those are things that signify she has special needs. Yes, often, "special needs" is about low intelligence and/or having some other reason why a child has acedemic difficulties. Actually, in a classroom situation though, any child who may need unusual amounts of help with a certain type of activity has special needs.

I, for example, have a physical disability, Cerebral Palsy. My special needs at school were help changing for PE, my hand held in some PE tasks, someone in the water with me at swimming in case I had a seizure, a computer or a scribe because writing is hard due to my fine motor skills being bad. I am bright though - BA and MA now.

It your daughter is struggling with fine and gross motor skills and balance. That's definately a "special need" in the classroom. It's probably holding her back with some tasks, like maybe activities involving cutting or colouring. Maybe some PE is hard, maybe moving around the room and things worry her because she is clumsy. That's a need that may require some support from a TA like I had. That is definately a special need, because it's likely that no other child in the room needs that support. Maybe more so than a child who needs somewhat easier work, because the teacher can provide that more easily, or a TA may take a group of somewhat lower ability children for say maths or English. Your daughter may need more one-on-one, because the help she needs is particular. Doesn't mean she isn't also in a higher group for say English or Maths.

The carefulness and caution may be a form of physical masking to compensate for lack of balance, motor skills etc. I don’t think you should dismiss the possibility of a dyspraxia assessment.

Cautious personality and lower physical ability can go hand in hand, at least they do in my daughter’s case so they can reinforce each other. My DD is 4 and is a bit further behind in her gross motor skills than the OP’s child. We know she has hypotonia (low muscle tone) and hypermobility and probably has a genetic condition but all tests have come back negative. I would accept any help you are offered but a lot of it is just finding something she likes doing and practicing. Swimming can be a good activity for building up muscle strength and coordination.

My child struggles with fine and gross motor skills m, particularly the former. He has been under occupational therapy since he was about 2-3 years old. He has big proprioception difficulties which impacts his motor skills.

He was referred to physiotherapy last year for something totally unrelated, but in their assessments they also noticed he had poor core strength, which impacts things like balance, stamina and physical activity (sitting upright to ride a bike is really hard for him). So he now has core strength physio exercises to do as well.

For him a lot of it is finding ways to deliver the therapies without him realising thats whats happening. So for fine motor skills its things like playing board games with small pieces, playdoh for hand strength etc.

In our area you can do a parental referral for occupational therapy - it might be worth looking in to

It is very possible that she is hyper mobile and or dyspraxic. In the end the only thing to do to help is to keep on encouraging her to practice different skills. A half hour ballet or dance session is a good idea. And then lots of fine motor skills work. There are endless ideas online for fun activities to do. Do a Pinterest search. Allow school to provide all the help they can.

She's a very very young child. Children develop at different rates. Even adults change and grow throughout their lives.
We have lost this idea somewhere along the way.

Hi all, I wouldn’t dismiss dyspraxia as a possibility, but I know kids develop differently and at different rates so I am not pushing for an assessment yet. I want to see what the school send specialist says first. Also - I understand that special needs can look very different and didn’t mean to offend anyone! She doesn’t seem really severely affected but definitely is behind for her age.