Toddler boundaries

[5mooth]

Has anyone else had a toddler deliberately wee on the floor/bed as a way of testing boundaries? 😩

My son is 3 and he is REALLY testing boundaries at the moment. For example, if I tell him “no” to something because he’s doing something he shouldn’t, wants something he can’t have, etc. — he will deliberately stand there, open his legs and wee on the floor.

It’s now got worse as he’s started taking his willy out of his nappy and deliberately weeing on his bed to try stall bedtime, multiple times within the space of 10 minutes, almost everyday this week.

He absolutely knows what hes doing and where wee is supposed to go, is potty trained and is perfectly capable of using the toilet/potty, which is why I’m finding this so difficult to deal with.

Has anyone else experienced this behaviour? What actually worked for you?

From a desperate mama 😩

How do you react when he does this?

He finds it funny, giggles and runs to hide.

That is a pretty extreme way to delay bedtime so I'd wonder why he is so desperate to avoid going to bed?
Could he sleep in with you for a little bit to break the cycle?

We do that and he still does it whilst were in the room

I haven’t but yes I think maybe try to chill out a bit. He’s only little so getting into a battle with him isn’t going to be great. Maybe introduce a bedtime reward chart or a special story in his bed or something to encourage him more gently. When he wees don’t give it any attention just ignore it, clean it quietly and put him in bed .

In that case I'm about to probably give the worst parenting advice ever but.... age 3 my son was also horrendous at bed time. We gave up on the daily battles and used to just let him fall asleep watching a movie on the sofa with us then carry him upstairs. I know it goes against everything they say you should do but for us it gave us a child who was not having a meltdown (getting increasingly aggressive every night.) It also took away the absolute dread of bedtime routine. The major downside was that we lost an adult evening.
By age 4 he was falling asleep (with cuddles) in his own bed.

Have you tried putting him to bed in a onesie or large ‘baby vest’ that on back to front so he can’t open it? I’m sure you can get some large ones for children who, for example, smear that are hard for them to undo themselves.

We are having the same but with spitting. Its a new behaviour and is really hard to manage our response as we find it so vile. Big reactions did not work, neither did an attempt at time out. Its getting slightly better with this approach:

• firmly saying "you do not spit at mummy/ i will not let you spit at me"
• walk away calmly and be clear that it is because of the spitting, ignore attempts to engage. If he follows we go into our room. If he carries on we say "I don't want to play with you when youre spitting". Anything more than that winds him up further.
• once calm offer cuddles and explain why its not ok, get him to explain why he was mad etc but don't give it too much attention. I also make him clean up the spit.

For throwing toys etc we would remove it until he can play nicely. With wee its difficult isnt it as it needs cleaning and the bedtime routine being paused is what he wants. Could you make sure he helps you strip the bed and put it on to wash etc? Has he explained why he is stalling? Does he still nap?

No, how do you react when he does this? Are you being consistent with your consequences with him? What’s the natural consequence for him doing this? Does he clear it up with your help?