Cosleeping - help!

[RW0]

My needy son is 18 months old and still breast fed but only when he is with me. He doesn’t feed at nursery or with grandparents. We currently still co sleep but he comfort suckles in n me ALL night and won’t take a dummy. How do I get him off and then into his own bed?! Although dont get me wrong I love the cuddles but I can’t continue waking 20 times a night to rotate him while he stirs to suckle. I’m exhausted :-(

Personally I would do it in one go- off you by being in his own bed. How does he get to sleep? Is he still fed to sleep? If so I would put a mattress on the floor in his room so you can lie with him until he falls asleep not on the boob then roll away. Alternatively if his dad is around, delegate bed times and night wakes to dad for a while until it settles in. It will likely be rocky and upsetting in the short run but very helpful for everyone thereafter. Good luck!

Cannot think of anything worse! Its habit isn’t it. He doesn’t need you but you have made yourself available. So, I’m sorry, but don’t be available any more. What other option is there? Get home his own cot. You cannot be awake enough in the day to be safe!

Another vote for own bed. It will be tough and at 3 am you will want to give up. Don’t. Buckle in and nip this in the bud.

I am afraid everyone is right. You just have to do it.

You can sweeten the pill a bit by having things in and around his bed that he enjoys or give comfort - toys, sounds whatever - and by having a comforting nighttime routine. He will probably find it hard to start with but he has to do this so you can get some proper sleep - it is a necessity.

Would you be happy continuing to cosleep if the night feeding stopped? I felt similar - shattered and started developing a real aversion to BFing too. We used Dr Jay Gordon's method (with some variations that made sense to us) and gradually stopped night feeding at a similar age while continuing cosleeping. There was relatively little upset. At 2 we moved him into his own bed for falling asleep with no upset but he still often toddles through to our bed in the night, which works for us but I appreciate won't for everyone.

Get his own bed and if he wakes up in the night get your husband to settle him if you can like you are not there.