How can I manage bedtime better with a three and six year old?

[loverofallanimals]

I have a three year old and a six year old. My three year old (only just turned three) used to crash very early but lately has been staying up a bit later, only until about half seven but it’s late enough to knock everything off kilter a bit.

Before this the routine was

6pm DD bath
620 DD out, milk, read books with her, teeth, bed at around 650
650 DS shower
655 DS teeth
7pm listen to DS read his school book
715 read books to DS
745 DS in bed.

So I felt I was still getting a reasonable evening and DS in bed (though not always asleep) at a decent time. Even so the whole thing took nearly two hours. As it is I’m only getting ds into bed at half eight or so. Any advice? I’m floundering a bit!

Bath together, teeth and then read stories together as well?

Yeah you need to find a way to do it together. Bath together, stories/milk together and DD down, school books then DS down? Alternatively invest in a yoto that DS can listen to independently while you do stories with DD?

What’s he doing when you’re bathing and getting her to bed? Surely he could be washing/brushing his teeth etc at the same time so even if he has a few books more than her after she’s gone to sleep at least it’s less time.

I would bath them together and read stories together then pop them into their beds, kiss goodnight and leg it! Mine were in bed by 7 at that age!

At these ages mine bathed together and then had story in younger one’s room then moved into older one’s room for 121 reading.

That’s if doing it alone. If dh was around then we’d split them after the bath and do 121 reading with each of them separately.

Is there a reason why you aren’t bathing them together? I’d do that, then teeth, joint stories where they choose 1 each and then it’s bed. Are you doing loads of stories because if I’m reading it correctly it sounds like 30 minutes each. My entire bedtime routine for 2 kids takes 30 minutes total. We don’t get until about 6.30 so no time to mess about and school reading I do first and use TV as bribery 🤣

There’s absolutely no way I can bath them together without it being carnage. They like different stories anyway. Thank you though. DS’s shower only takes a few minutes; Dds bath is a bit longer but not ages. It’s more the faffing (DD is bad for this) and the reading that takes ages but reading is so important … arrgghh.

Are you a single parent?

I have 2.5yo and 5yo and they both go to bed at pretty much the same time as each other. Yes reading is important but you can also do it at other times of the day.

We don’t do bath/ shower every day, and when we do it’s a bit earlier in the evening, straight after dinner usually, not part of the bedtime routine. This means there’s less time pressure if 2yo wants to stay in the bath forever.

bedtime routine:
Both brush teeth at the same time

Take 2yo to bed - a couple of very short stories and pop him into bed (10 mins max).

Take 5yo to bed - he goes to the toilet, puts his pyjamas on, gets into bed and has 10 mins stories.

More shocked than anything that you get a 6 year old to bed by 7:30!
Slightky different ages but same gap I have a 1 and a 4 year old. I do their routine together. Bath together then up to my room. We watch 2 story dream projectors together then they pick a book each from their own bookshelves and then the both go to their own rooms/bed and fall asleep with their tonie boxes. They go to bed at 8. 1 year old is usually asleep in 10 minutes, 4 year old will usually sit up and listen to a Tonie then put a second one on for sleep and go to bed around 8:30/8:45

I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. I usually do stories together and they take turns (2 or 3 books each) but I have read books to them in the bath if we are short on time (or if I just need them to go to bed because I’m losing my sanity) so you could try that with the 3 year old. I also read to them at other times of the day so I don’t feel guilty if they only get 1 book at bedtime. 30 minutes for each kid
at the end of the day feels like a lot for you when you are probably tired. Also your 6 year old could probably shower on his own? I still bath both of mine together but occasionally DS5 will ask for a shower and I leave him to it with the door open while I crack on with the 3 year old.

@Meand2Ls its the three year old in bed by then. DS is generally around 8. I’ve just got him into bed now so not too bad. I did rush his reading though.

@NorthFacingGardener I can … I’m just struggling with when!

@clownstomyleft yes, this would be much easier if I had someone to chuck a child at!

@Nosleepforthismum thank you. We used to read a lot during the day but got out of the habit over the summer, need to reintroduce that. I guess it’s more I feel it’s my individual time with them both, and ds especially doesn’t get much time one to one.

I have the same age kids + a 2 year old. Some things I’ve started doing: They have a shower and get into pjs while dinner is cooking. It saves time. They go upstairs together after dinner and brush teeth. My 6 year old reads bedtime stories to the younger two. She usually reads her school reading book or a book from the school’s online reading platform. That kills two birds with one stone. The 3 year old will normally fall asleep while 6 year old is reading which 6 year old feels very proud about. I suspect it’s because she’s reading slower than I would.

Mine and 9 and 5, and I’d say this is one of the hardest things is how short my evenings now feel.

My only suggestions would be take your little one reading to you away from bedtime, do this earlier. And think if they need a bath every night.

If the three year old is staying up later, could you do

625 DS's reading book
640 DD's bath
700 DD's bedtime routine, DS does his teeth when she does and showers, gets into pjs, etc. while she's having her books
730 DS's books (and cut that time to 20 minutes so he's in bed at 750)

If the problem is that DS won't get on with showering, changing, and so on without supervision then you could set up a sticker chart or something, or go a bit old school and say, "Well, bedtime is at 750 (or whatever), if you don't do this then you'll get less/no books read to you first." And obviously if there's an actual problem with his being able to do something, you'd need to work on that skill.

When my dd was 6 I would get her to read to her little brother the stories so it also got her 10 mins reading done a day. I might also read but it meant she felt important, DS was happy because she 'did voices' and the homework was done!

Note: if you follow my suggestion, it might be tough for a few nights while they get the hang of it but I think it will pay off.

I have a (young) 4 and (old) 5 year old and have taught them to get themselves dressed and sorted in the mornings (including putting their laundry away and tidying their beds). It wasn't an easy process to teach them but now it means I can get on with stuff while they get on with that, and it was invaluable the other day when we suddenly had to leave for something much earlier due to a road closure - I was able to make sandwiches, sort bags, etc while they got ready.

I'd shower them together. Weekdays the dc just get a lather up and spray down, takes about 2 mins max, then out and into pjs. Be prepared to have to change your clothes as you will be soaked.