'Normal Fred' and concerns about starting school

[Diddleydo43]

Dc4 has always been a bit off the standard, fits the definition of 'spirited' if you understand that.
Only child, both parents at home, settled background though Dad can be a bit firey.

Started school Sept, seemed to settle in well, managed to avoid toilet accidents but seems extremely unhappy at times. Definitely doesnt drink enough fluid but we can work on that. No idea if he eats lunch but not too worried, we can feed him.at home.
He's not academic but has excellent vocabulary and pretty good speech. He likes to be the centre of attention and in the latter part of pre-school (different setting) had quite a few good friends.

However he doesnt deal well with not getting his own way and can tantrum/meltdown for a good hour or more over seemingly ridiculous things. Has been alot better lately but went off on one today eventually said it was bc there were too many big people, but failed to understand that we couldn't help bc we didn't know. Fully accept overwhelm is a thing. I would have removed him from the event after 5 mins screaming but DH felt he needed to stay.

2 things concern me, first is he says no one plays with him. I have no idea if its true but we had a school event today -like sports day, and he did everything on his own. Though he did communicate with a couple of his classmates..

Second his teacher (who is just qualified) calls him 'normalFred' as opposed to the other Fred in the class. This horrified me on so many levels, maybe he is normal? Not a problem, but what the heck do they call the other Fred? Nc for obvs reasons..
We think our Fred is probably special in some way, adhd, sensory, but he's able to mask it mostly. NormalFred just doesn't seem appropriate for either child..

He's only been at school 3 weeks, do I just carry on and not say anything, or speak up?

Talking to the teacher at the beginning or end of the day is pointless because its chaos.

Hi

Sorry bit of a mad week as DC has respiratory flare up and needed overnight meds, which exhausts us both and getting to school on time has been a real trial.

Anyhow I did speak to teacher Monday afternoon. She wasn't aware who was saying normalFred, but would talk to Fred.

Since then Fred hasn't said it, so no idea who/where he got it from and I don't want to repeat it again as I might spark it off once more.

So his teacher doesn't call him Normal Fred? Fred told you his teacher/someone else called him that?

Glad the normal Fred thing has been resolved.

FWIW, my oldest couldn't write his mane ircread when he started reception. He also wouldn't pick up a crayon voluntarily. He's just submitted his university choices, with Cambridge on there. Don't write him off yet.

For reference, I believe it was either someone else in the classroom saying normalFred (and of course my child isn't called Fred), but his actual name does crop up in some children's books.

Or they were saying something other than normal. Hes now telling me he's Fred with a capital F so however it was couched it appears resolved. Thanks for giving me the courage to speak up. He seems to have made some friends at late club and he's not starving everyday, toilets ok at home so think things are settling in. Just hard when you've been used to a nursery daily diary knowing what they ate/drank/ did in a day.

I'm not great at conflict so having advice o here to talk to teacher really helped, thank you.

You literally, one post later said that the teacher didn't call him normal Fred.... 🥴

Please see previous post or try specsavers, or get a life, whatever works for you.

You're the one saying that the kid wasn't called normal Fred at all.

Who told you that he was being called Normal Fred in the first place? The 4 year old? Those reliable witnesses who never ever confused events or report them slightly incorrectly?

(My daughter told a friend "my mummy hit me with stick" when actually what happened was we were walking in the woods and a branch of a bush bounced back onto her arm harmlessly as I walked past it and she was behind me)

Honestly woman. It's almost as if.... Nobody called your child Normal Fred.

He is 4 years old
Are you reading to him everyday?
Does he have a tablet or access to one?

Honestly, I'm not sure you understand the correct meaning.

What i said was, when my child was talking about himself he referred to himself 3 times as normalFred . This was something new and certainly not something he had heard at home and whether or not it he had misquoted someone eg otherFred or morningFred or whatever it was what he was saying I felt it was inappropriate.

I really don't know why it bothers you other than wanting to discredit me, who you don't know and never met, I suggest you invest your time elsewhere.

Actually he reads to me every morning and evening. He does have access to a sceeen sometimes but we don't watch a TV, so we put cartoons on sometimes.

He's a bright boy with some issues and doesn't like formal desk work.

I know right. Maybe read a book on child development. Parenting 101???
I despair.

Maybe someone has been saying 'no more Fred' when he has been using too much glue or taking too many counters or something and it just sounded like 'Normal'.

You’ve repeatedly said he doesn’t read.

And now has said he reads to you every morning.

So which is it?

(Reading to you from a book with me words doesn’t count as reading if that’s what you mean….)

But you said "he doesn't read or write although he recognises letters and numbers quite well."

And now he reads every morning and is quite bright.

And.... He's 4. Of course he doesn't like formal desk work.

But you said in your OP that the teacher calls him normal Fred...but on further investigation,the teacher doesn't call him normal Fred.

Which is why I said the teacher calling him Normal Fred never happened.

I bet your 'fred' was telling you a story about himself and the other Fred, and referred to himself as 'NormalFred' as he is the main Fred you know.

No way would a teacher 3 weeks in be calling one child Normal and one not. You have misinterpreted this, and sound hugely anxious about school.

He also sounds more likley to be autistic than having ADHD to me (hour long meltdowns, rigidty)

Glad it’s all been resolved.

Hour long tantrums are a concern and point to melts rather than simple displeasure in not getting his own way. How old is he exactly? 4, 4.5 or nearer 5?