Think child is faking illness at school- advice?

[stripeybe]

My DD (9) has been sent home three times in the last 7ish weeks for being sick at school. Each time it’s been around 2:30pm, the days of the week have varied. DD loves school, is adamant that she has been sick (no one has seen her or heard her but I guess that’s not too uncommon?). I’ve tried and tried to see if she’s being bullied or similar and she keeps saying no. She has lots of friends and is doing well at school otherwise. Obviously when she’s been sick she has to stay off for 48 hours, which she’s always upset about and moans that she wants to go.

The thing is, there is a sickness bug at the school right now, so it is plausible that the was. But, every time she’s come home she’s been 100% fine, eating/drinking normally, jumping around, playing etc. Never been sick after or have an upset tummy, she’s been totally fine every time. Always has a normal appetite, even yesterday wanted dinner and dessert. What do I do? I’ve tried talking to her from every angle I can think of and I’m getting nowhere. Dh and I really don’t think she’s been sick, I’d hate to actually say that to her because I know how upsetting it can be to not be believed as a child but even coming home yesterday she was chatting animatedly and seemed well.

Totally agree. Pudding, treats, exciting food would all be out of the question. If you have a tummy bug then it's better to rest, drink lots of water and eat plain food than jumping around and otherwise acting like it's another day ending in 'Y'!

I did this when I was that age. Usually so I got togo home a bit early. But that was when you walked yourself home. My mother basically cottoned on, told me she didn't believe me and said unless anyone saw it or I had a temperature I was staying in school. I was mortified I had been caught out.
.I know other people did it too at that age. Saying you were sick worked as people panicked but you didn't need proof. I'd tell the school you think she's faking and to keep her in. I'd tell her unless she looks seriously unwell or has a temperature she is staying in as she is missing too much school. She's not going to admit she's been at it but if she has enough sense she'll realise she's been caught out and stop.

I had a similar experience at primary school, I would often be sick an hour after lunch!

This carried on for months, my GP requested that a food diary was kept, but they eliminated dairy etc… as the cause.

The afternoon vomiting continued, so I was eventually sent to the hospital for allergy tests, and it turned out that I was allergic to an additive in the Banana milkshake syrup often served with lunch!

This was something that I had never had at home, and it took a few pinprick testing sessions to discover it!

Now I can bring myself to go near anything that smells of banana!

I stopped eating or drinking anything banana flavoured and the problem was over!

Could it be an allergy to something they are eating at school?

My son has migraine. He doesn't always get a headache with it. Sometimes he feels a bit weird and then is sick almost immediately. Headache or no headache, he's almost instantly better after he's sick. Migraine is very weird in kids, it often passes very quickly. I ruled it out for him for ages because, when he did have a headache, it was always central - I only read later that migraines aren't always one-sided in children. Might be worth at least considering? 9 is around average age for onset in girls, I believe.

I'm wondering this because afternoon is quite a typical onset time for a migraine, especially if there's something about the school environment that's triggering it (not eating or drinking enough, bright overhead lights, etc).

If mine were sick at school then they wouldn’t be given pudding or playtime at home. It would be dry toast and bed to sleep. I didn’t want them to think home was more exciting than being at school.

Is it the journey home from school she may be avoiding?

Unless there are other reasons to do so make sick days as boorrinng as possible. All the more so when DC appears to be enjoying time off school. One is home to recover which means preferably time in bed and few distractions. A visibly sick DC is obviously nurtured to a greater degree but not to point that being sick seems attractive.
The school ought, if there is any doubt, to get the child to sit quietly somewhere and to reassess a little later rather than rush to call parents.

I’m a teacher and children get anxiety or can getting coughing that causes sickness. Some children think phlegm is sick.

So I can be sure, I say ‘if you’re sick, or feel you’re going to be sick, just go - no permission needed, but show an adult before you flush.’

In front of your child and teacher on drop off tomorrow, I’d recommend saying ‘X is being sick but doesn’t seem unwell, I’m going to take her to the doctors as this concerns us. I’ve told X, she mustn’t flush and must show an adult so we can create a diary of patterns for the doctor. Please can you feedback?’

if it’s fake, it’ll stop there.

Totally agree that she should be having plain, boring food, no sweet treats and no playing, jumping around, tv etc if she is claiming to have been sick. If she hasn't really been sick then she'll soon realise faking is not a good option. If she has really been sick she surely won't feel like eating normally.

Record what she has for dinner at school on the days she’s sick, does she have PE those days and is running around after eating? Does she have PE the next day and is avoiding it?
so I’d record food eaten on these days, what lessons she has the next day that she might be avoiding… is she avoiding an after school club? Sport? Is she worried about changing in front of friends in PE… etc

I started being sick almost daily with no other symptoms except aching limbs at around 14 as its when my autoimmune disorder developed.. maybe you should speak to a doctor before assuming fake and posting on MN
X

Some kids can be more prone to reflux, and vomiting can be triggered by stress. My DD would genuinely think she was ‘ill’ but it was never a contagious bug and there was a consistent pattern to the triggers. School never enforced the 48/72 hour rule for her as a result as it was a known quirk specific to her.

A child who has been sick is going to have some evidence on them, a 9 year old is not going to be so adept at clearing up you can't tell. I was ill all the time as a child, my mother always knew when I had been sick.

My youngest kept getting sent home when a cough made her upset. I had to speak to the teacher and say that it was ridiculous, it’s just a cough, please keep her in school. It stopped the problem.

Yes this. Let's be cold to a child who is either being sick or has an emotional reason to fake it.