Terrible Teen

[Melocoton]

My soon to be 17 year old DD has been behaving so badly! I have posted before and just for some background, she lives with me whilst her Dad lives round the corner with our son. She has struggled with complete Alopecia Areata which I have done everything to support her with financially and emotionally! she has recently agreed to go to college after not attending school for almost a year! I changed my job and took a far more menial job for the hours so I could be around! She has always been a strong personality and I have been so accommodating to her probably because of her hair and divorce guilt. Fast forward to this weekend and I am in a five month telationshio with someone amazing that I am
open to her about and she has met him before. She begged me to take her to Thorpe park woth her friends last weekend in return that she would allow him to
ome to the house. I encouraged her to invite her close friend over hot them lovely food and ferries them around all evening to an ice hockey came making it clear she had to be civil to my boyfriend! she was horrific all evening, so rude to him and childish, slamming doors screaming at me etc! luckily he is very mature and said hes supportive of me but I am mortified! He has gone home and she has gone bananas this evening screaming, slamming doors in my face and says she is not
going to college tomorrow. she refuses to see a counsellor or talk about her feelings and I just dont know how to cope with this anymore; she is awful, has hit me on occasion and comstantly threatens to tell her dad about me and go and live woth him! I appreciate she is being manipulative but this is making my life absolute hell; any ideas, anyone been there?

Tell her to live with her dad.

You what? Did i read that right? You had to have her permission to allow your bf to come over to your own house? Like fk I'd do that with any of mine. You've created a monster. Send her to her dad.

I know! I am
just so scared of losing her but I cannot take this monster any more!!

You have bent too much. I understand why, but you’ve lost the boundaries that need to be in place for you to have good mental health and so emotional blackmail is being used. I think it’s time to put boundaries back in for you, and if that means her going to live with her dad, I’d let her go.

You are both clearly really unhappy, she should go stay with her dad for a bit and let the dust settle

Thank you all. I appreciate it all. Never have I been so glad to come to work today. Went to wake her yo for college and she screamed and kicked me and has refused to go!! luckily I have a three night break away with my friends this week so just have to ride it out until thurs night. I think she wont be happy until i break up with my partner and thats not happening!

@Melocotonpeople only ever do what they think they can get away with. If she was that unhappy with you she would go to her dads. I mean this respectfully but she knows you love her and she is walking all over you. Tell her if she ever kicks you again or screams at you while you have any kind of guest in the house she can leave and find somewhere else to live. It feels harsh but this behaviour won’t stop and she will end up an adult who isn’t able to have relationships because no one will put up with her like you will they’ll take one look and run. You don’t want her to end up a 30 year old woman screaming and shouting and throwing tantrums it will just lead to misery for her. I knew at that age that it was my responsibility to go to college not my mums job to tell me to go. If I’d have ever kicked my mother I don’t think I would be welcome there anymore and that would have been fair she’s 17 she’s not 3.