12 year old obsessed with devices!

[TickingKey46]

I'm after some advice. Nearly 13 year old boy has no other interests other than device's and its driving me mad!!
He has previously done many many clubs, but not now. I work full time so not always around to challenge him. Both my children are allowed 4 hours on their phones a day. It feels like a lot but the idear was meant to be teaching them how manage their time on device's. Also part of that time is homework.
But my son also has a vr headset, and a switch.
If he's not doing any of that he's watching tv. I'm concerned as I think its an unhealthy life style to be on screens so much.
How do other patents manage it? Cos I'm obviously doing something wrong.
Thank you

4 hours after school?

Do you have a dog? I know seems daft question but I hoof mine out both days of the weekend with the dog without their phone and tell them not back for at LEAST 90 mins

they come back so much more refreshed

set it up so screens etc don’t work until you’re home and monitor it, have alternatives available etc.

Are they any clubs he can join related to computer games?
If done as part of a community computer games aren't so awful.
There's festivals and conventions for them.
If that's what he is interested in why not embrace it but in an actually out in the community way.

Yes 4 hours. Built it up from less as I thought both my kids were responsible enough. Most of their mates don't even have restrictions.
No dog. Often give them an hour of jobs after tea which helps a bit.
Done every club going! Historically. Sometimes goes to the park after school hool with friends.
Good idea about looking for some kind of computer club., we had discussed that.
Im honestly at my wits end with it now.

He's outside mowing the lawn atm, because i made him.

I just dont know how to manage it

Why all the kit? It sounds excessive.

4 hours 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

4 hours a day? Flippin heck. He’s physically addicted.

Floppy year I'm not sure how thats funny!! Like I said most of their friends have endless time on phone so potentially use it a lot more. I gave my kids a substantial amount of time in the hope they would manage it. My 13 yest old daughter does, my 12 year old son doesn't.

No not a lot of kit tbh. The head set was for xmas from the whole of my extended family, phones a very old one (he looses everything so deffo not a new one). The switch is shared between him and his sister.

Anyone else struggled with this with their child and found a way around it?

But surely his access just terminates at 4 hour limit because of the settings on his phone? So he doesn’t get a choice

Suprise
Problem is i carnt put restrictions on the head set or switch. It just appears if hes not using one its the other. So not necessarily obsessed with just his phone but all devices. Of course I could just remove them all, but his friends are always in the games and he doesn't appear to have any other interests atm.

My daughter will drawer, make stuff etc etc. So I'm not so worried about her usage. She even uses her phone to find pictures to draw.

Anyone got any practical solutions?

Is it too simplistic to remove them altogether?

Op do 3 mins of googling and yes you can put restrictions on the switch

The Switch is easy to restrict. On the switch app you can set the limits.

my nearly 13 year old y8 son doesn’t have a smart phone. For this reason.

He reads, plays board games with brothers (one older, one younger) garden with brothers, plays his musical instrument, reads the Beano, does sports or clubs most days after school. homework.

I think you need to go cold turkey as it seems like he has no incentive to find alternatives once he has the screens.

your son will kick off at first but will learn to entertain himself. Like we all did in the old days.

he could bake a cake, or follow a YouTube video to make origami (on a laptop), or buy him a 500 piece jigsaw, listen to audiobook, help make supper, draw a comic

Id get rid of the headset… especially if he uses VR chat! So much weird shit going on in there and you can’t monitor it as can’t see what he’s doing! Also too easy for them to completely submerge themselves in VR and ignore real life stuff.

The Switch is easy to restrict. On the switch app you can set the limits.

basic really Op

You can definitely set limits on the Switch. Download the Nintendo parents app and do it through that. Our Switch automatically turns off after half an hour, and is set not to come on before 9am or after 8pm

Do this

The switch parental controls are fairly easy. You can set a time allowance and it can be different for different days. You can extend or reduce as needed, and set a bedtime. I don’t know about VR sets. I sympathise as my 12 yo dd is similar. We are temporarily without internet and she has used all her data and is Not Happy. We are watching dvds and she’s done some crafting but there has been whinging!

I manage it by not buying them devices and refusing to let the school iPad come home. We have a TV but it doesn’t have YouTube or anything in it.

My sister struggles to get my nephew, 12, off his devices, she said she doesn't even know what time he goes to bed. He takes his phone everywhere and is never told, by her, to put it away eg walking through a busy airport, dinner with gps, etc. It's a fail in my eyes, my dds 14 and 13, while using phones obviously, are not obsessed and will leave them at home if we go out.

DN stayed with me for a day and night and I made it very clear phones wouldn't be taken out of the house, he listens to me where he wouldn't to his DM. He was a different kid, and a joy to be around where he's normally a nightmare! Your ds obviously can't self regulate like your dd so you'll have to help, and actually parent him

I've always had restrictions on device's but since the 6 weeks holidays its all gone a bit wrong. It was flipping hard working fill time (half the time from home) and keeping an eye on them with devices. Their phone turns off @ 8.30 and they carnt use them before 7.30 am. So no mine ain't up during the night on them. Also no for the dinner table/while we're eating and walking around outside.
I have just had a strong word with him about it. I have said 2 hours total on all devices and I will be removing them after that time.
We have looked at Manga books (goodness they are expensive!!). But regardless I'm happy to get him some.
He will sulk and strop around the house I'm sure. But thats ok, I won't be changing my mind.
He may actually use that time to hsve a proper shower!!! Ha ha.

I assume he didn’t buy all these devices himself.

@TickingKey46 libraries frequently have loads of manga books so pack him off to your local library.

Mum2

That was a helpful comment! As we all know parenting is hard especially single parenting and teenagers. We're all just doing our best, we make mistakes and then rectify them. Presumably you've also made mistakes as a parent?