Miserable people on planes and trains!!!!

[Bumdiddley]

I, ds22mo and dd3yo and dh were returning from holiday on Gatwick Express.

Ds decided to have a tantrum 10 mins from Victoria so I stood by the door and tried to placate him eg. toys, sweeties, cuddles, etc.

I noticed a woman come to the door and make a comment. I ignored her cos, well, ds was going muclear. Then, she put her fingers in her ears.

When ds calmed down I asked her to repeat herself. She said "I'm not going to talk to you". I told her " If you don't like travelling with the hoi polloi, don't use public transport" She said something dismissive.

I walked away from her, (absolutely livid) as I as still carrying ds. I started saying to ds (so she could hear) "Aw, bad lady is tired and angry. Poor lady doesn't only wear sunglasses inside, but also has a bad dress sense"

I'm still angry the next day. People on the plane were giving him evils too because he liked to pootle up and down the plane.

I know not everyone will think he's a cherub and I tried to keep him quiet...
You know, I'm not sure where I'm going with this I just needed to write it all down so I can forget about it IYSWIM!

Reasonable behaviour by children (taking into account their age and any SN) is, well, reasonable.

However there are some people who make no attempt to control their NT children in public, and any criticism is countered by 'God aren't Brits vile they just hate children', when in fact this isn't the case, and we just loath that child's behavior.

if a child behaves well and has a sudden wendy, you'd be understanding. To suffer a child's horrid behavior for hours, when the parent do nothing but cluck 'Kids will be kids' is intolerable

I'd heard of having a paddy, MB, but not of having a wendy

Message withdrawn

new phrase new phrase - i am so cleggin' that

"havin' a wendy"

Without getting embroiled, I find planes in particular, and trains to a lesser extent, seem to bring out the worst in people.

Even when your child is not making a peep you feel you are getting evil stares from someone just for daring to bring children into their space.

I couldn't think of many worse jobs than being cabin crew, dealing with demanding stroppy people all the time.

I agree wannabe.

I didn't let ds run up and down the plane.

I drink lots of water on plane journeys. I dehydrate, like most people.

Therefore I need to wee a lot!

I let ds toddle (NOT run) in front of me. We did this approxiamately 5 times in a 4 hour journey.

We went to the front loos and back loos on alternate goes.

Neither child ran on the train as it was a 45 min journey.

ohh, am I a trend setter?

avoids all those possible non PC effects of 'paddy' as well!

we always use it in our house

I hate it when children are allowed to run up and down planes. It's a moving vehicle full of other passengers and trolleys etc. trying to get up the aisle. It's not a playground. We were flying to Florida, a couple of years ago, and a toddler was allowed to charge u pand down the aisle. The cabin crew repeatedly told the parents to keep in in his seat, he had banged into numerous people, woke people up and had caused a cup of hot coffee to spill. But the response was 'oh, he's only little, he's bored'. Well bloody well entertain him then, like the rest of us were doing with our children.

Or do as we did, and don't take them longhaul till they're 4 or 5 and can be relied on to behave.

Actually I'm going to stop writing posts and just put 'I agree with MB'. I agree with her on this and the thread about telling teenagers to shut up.

I don't see why someone putting their fingers in their ears is rude. I do it all the time when there's loud noises that hurt or irritate my ears, or I want to read on a busy train or plane. It's a good way of shutting out the noise without offending anyone.

I agree with MB too.

mumblechum - was offered a free holiday! Believe me, we will not be doing that again even though the dc behaved MOST of the journey.

themoon66 - she came and stood next to me...

Unfortunately though mumblechum not everybody travels to go on holiday. We live abroad (not through choice) and travel home to the UK a couple of times a year and it's bloody hard work, especially when I do it on my own.

I found the hardest age to be 1-2 as they just want to move about and don't understand why you are trying to stop them. Thankfully my 2 are now of an age (5 and 3) where they are easier to entertain with reading, colouring etc

Oh I can't wait until we move back to the UK later this year, we will not be flying on holiday for a very long time

Maybe she had a migraine or something..hence the sunglasses inside?

I have had concussion recently and have been pretty close to putting fingers in ears when kids have been crying nearby because it hurts! And I have a DD who cries too!

I think commenting on her dress sense sounds a bit deranged TBH

Are you not deranged when your dd has a tantrum after a 4 hour flight???

True.,.in fact I am deranged anyway

Pagwatch- I agree - I've travelled by plane a few times on my own with small children and when they have to be strapped in, you just have to make sure they are strapped in, however difficult it is (and it can be very difficult!)but when safety is an issue, there is no choice.

It's very hard though to stop a small child on my lap from kicking the seat in front, as they just do it without realising, and I often don't realise they are doing it either- too busy trying to keep them sat down and reasonably quiet!

I usually find that people are very tolerant when they can see that you and your kids are making an effort to be considerate. If that's obvious then any lapses are usually ignored or smiled at, by most anyway. Golden rule: normal rules can be relaxed a little (eg eat the whole packet of chocolate buttons if you like or here's an extra present to bribe you into sitting still for takeoff....ahem) but never EVER piss off the other passengers.

Obvious caveat: if your child goes into meltdown there really is eff all you can do about it, but if you are seen to be trying to minimise the impact on people around you people usually sympathise rather than get arsey. So in this case I don't think there was much the OP could have done differently, but I MIGHT not have responded in the same way to narky lady myself

I feel like putting my fingers in my ears when my kids throw tantrums.

yes bribery is necessary in some situations kitbits.

dd had the tantrum to end all tantrums when we were camping once, it lasted for over 2 hours.

I went round all the surrounding tents and apologised.

Everyone was V supportive and understanding. Had I not done that, they would have been cursing us (understandably)

Had to refresh this thread having just come back from booking next years holiday !
I agree with a lot said on here tbh

But I do get a bit at the occasional suggestions that grown adults are totally helpless in the face of toddler behaviour. And the way anyone suggesting that actually with real effort a big percentage of difficult behaviour ( although not all) can be avoided is accused of being childless.

If I can make my DS2 with ASD, obsessions, compulsions and no social understanding at all, a pleasure to travel with I think your average toddler should at least be bearable

As I said pagwatch ds was a joy for most of the journey and was for the rest of the way. He had just woken up...