Three year old still pooing in pants after potty training

[elsablue]

DD turned three in July and she potty trained fairly easily in march. Wees weren’t a problem; we have occasional ‘leaks’ and she does have accidents at preschool as I don’t think she’s as confident at saying she needs a wee.

Poos are another matter and we’ve made no progress. She just does it in her pants. I feel like preschool are a bit fed up of cleaning up a mess and I don’t really blame them.

Part of me wonders if I should go back to pull ups but I feel that would undermine the work we’ve done so far (plus they are expensive!)

I have done the ‘usual’ things of blowing bubbles etc, not helped yet, and I’m conscious she starts school next September which is obviously a long time but then we’ve made no movement forwards in six months!

Exactly the same issue here with our DD, except it’s still happening after a full 12 months without nappies during the day and she’s a bit older, just over 3.5 now.

Tried all sorts but ultimately she doesn’t seem bothered about it.
I keep thinking it will click eventually but I’m also worried we’ll still be in this position come next September when she starts school.

So no advice unfortunately but I’m reluctant to go back to pull-ups after so long and following to see any advice from others :)

Thanks for replying @AcceptYourself , I’m kind of glad it isn’t just us although obviously don’t want you to be in this position! DD is sometimes dry at night sometimes not, but wears a pull up then and sometimes will poo in if when we’re reading stories (I do change her!) I have suggested to her if she’d rather poo in a nappy she can do that and we can then change her into pants but I don’t know if that was too confusing - she just said ‘no’ anyway.

I know constipation is often suggested but I don’t think she is although possibly withholding (which suggests some control?)

Sounds like you are aware of constipation which is an issue - overflow of liquid poo pushes past the constipated poo without much sensation. So really it depends on her normal routine. Going at least once a day and it is soft but formed - fine. Going once a day or less but it is nugget-like - probably an issue.
Practically, you need to make it harder for her to poo in her pants than use a potty/toilet. Have a potty in the lounge (or wherever you spend the the most time). Remind her that poos go in the potty and there it is. When she does mess in her pants make a big deal of saying "oh we have to stop playing/watching TV/going to the park because we need to get cleaned up. Next time do it on the potty and we can carry on doing xyz". You're not getting cross or adding lots of negative attention, you're just making it a lot less rewarding than using a very accessible potty.

My friend’s DS had this issue for about a year, he just didn’t seem to know it was going to happen. It did resolve itself eventually but it was a long time.

My DS had a few poop accidents after being potty trained. He didn’t seem to know he needed to go or proactively go.

So we made it a routine that every evening he would sit on the potty with a little table with a jigsaw in front of him. It did take 10/15 mins of sitting and relaxing before he would go. (hence the jigsaws to distract). The potty training book I read said that the more opportunity they have to go at the right time, the less likely they are to go at the wrong time.

It might feel like going backwards but a potty is easier than the toilet because of their posture, and also they might be more comfortable to stay there for a while and properly relax. Apparently both squatting and standing(!) are physically easier than sitting.

I'd second the suggestion about using potty rather than the loo - much more natural posture for defecation.

Does she have to clear up after she's soiled her pants? Matter of fact, rather than in a shaming way, and certainly with adult help and supervision. But it's right that she is as inconvenienced by it as you are - and crucially more inconvenienced by using her pants than by going to the loo in the first place.

Thank you. I think she’s struggle to clean herself up to be honest - it’s quite a skill really!

She does have a potty as well as the toilet with seat, step etc but it’s as if she just doesn’t recognise the ‘I need a poo’ signal, I’ve also got her special pants and hoped she’d be motivated by not pooing on Elsa but apparently not!

Does she give signs that she's about to poop? Could you try and take her to potty as soon as you see the signs? My 3 jabs all been really obvious when they're pooping//about to try popping

Mine is 2.5 and has obvious signs they need a poo, so if they don't say, I take them and encourage them.

Following as we are in the same boat!