Six year old can’t sit still

[rockandroar]

I really notice it at meal times as I suppose he doesn’t have to sit still at other times (with me) much. He hangs off the seat, sometimes with his back on the chair and his feet on the floor on one side and his head dangling down, or turning upside down, or trying to climb on the table (!)

Obviously I do challenge him and don’t let him but no sooner have I told him to sit correctly than he’s hanging off the edge again.

I am really exhausted with it tbh, and wondering if it’s ADHD.

I think it's part of being 6. Ants in their pants.

What do they say at school? Can he sit still at other times?

Is it just that or other traits too? If it’s just that he’s probably just a high energy 6 year old. There’s lots to ADHD then just that.

my 6 year olds are the same, the one thing the teacher constantly has to tell them off for at school is not being able to to sit still. hopefully they'll grow out of it. if they're not being unsafe, I try not to be too rigid about them sitting still because I understand it's hard.

Yes. As I was typing I realised he’s sat with me at the theatre and cinema (although maybe a bit more wriggly than some children. Depends if he has a snack or not!)

He is OK at school … so SO relieved others are saying it’s normal as it really does my head in!!

Try a sensory wedge or wobble cushion or let him stand at the table. Safer than swinging around when trying to eat.
Can he “ let off steam” before meal time to help him to regulate?

The visual displays of adhd - ants in pants/lateness/disorganised are absolutely nothing compared to the emotional deregulation. Fidgeting is so normal in kids, and even if it turns out he has got ADHD, it doesn’t need medicating or diagnosing unless it impairs his life. Sitting on a chair incorrectly is not impairing his life.

What does the emotional regulation look like? There are other things which make me wonder.

For emotional regulation look out for excessive or inappropriate responses to normal situations, that don't really fall under tantrums.
For example if something is broken or lost they may be inconsolable for a while, there may also be terrible with transitions IE you are going to leave somewhere or start something and they are really slow to start.
At 6 it's worth discussions with school as we found they have a good overview of what's normal for the age and can spot small but important differences. Some things you're used to working around but come out in school, but on the flip side some children mask at school and it all comes out at home. So talk to school but don't take it as the last word.

Emotional dysregulation can look like expressing emotion/anger/annoyance/crying etc over and above what is proportionate to what has happened. They go from 0 to 100 often without warning. I have one ND child and one NT and the ND one takes ages to calm down, whereas the NT one gets over things much much faster.

My as yet undiagnosed ADHD 7 year old also doesn’t sleep until 10:30-11pm, has sensory issues eg noise/too many people/clothing etc and cannot cope with things like birthday parties.

As the above poster says school may or may not see these issues. My child masks heavily at school and they don’t see any issues - just a compliant, clever, eager to please child

Thanks, all. We definitely have ‘big feelings’ but I’d say broadly in line with most others of this age. Very occasionally will completely lose it but it is occasional and tends to be when very tired, stressed, a bit under the weather?

Yeah, mine still does at 13.

Fine at school. Seeks a lot of proprioception though, like me. He needs to pot his feet on something or sit cross legged. Like I do.

We have a very active and wiggly 6 year old who has always struggled at meal times. We have put a little stool on the floor so his feet are on it and it's helped keep him a little more still in his chair. Also we all sit in the dining room with no distractions. Trying to persuade a kid to eat is so disheartening.

My 6 year old dd is on the waiting list for ADHD and ASD assessment. She has huge unproportional reactions to things, is violent towards us if unregulated, has so much energy all the time and struggles to go to sleep, won’t sit still (getting her to read more than a couple of words without running around is difficult), big reactions to any to ing she feels is slightly unfair or happens to her.

Totally normal.

My Inner chimp is great to introduce at this age. My youngest really “got” it. He’s only just starting to be much less like this at 8.

The eldest, mr fidget, seemed to be very cool headed from an early age but y if his mates never achieved this and went into puberty with quite a lot of dysregulation. All doing ok.

Even if he had adhd I’d be suggesting this

https://chimpmanagement.com/books-by-professor-steve-peters/my-hidden-chimp/

This and being unable to sit still is nothing out of the ordinary for many 6 year olds.

My boy is a huge fidgeter, always has been. Can’t sit still for love nor money. Hangs of chairs at mealtimes, swings upside on sofas, rolls around while taking to me. He’s 8 now. He hasn’t got ADHD and the fidgeting doesn’t impact his progress or learning at all. He plays three sports and is excellent at reading and maths. It’s really annoying though!

Thanks, I’m very reassured by your replies!

My 5.5yo is just like this. It’s almost like his bottom is magnetically repelled by any spot where he’s meant to be sitting. It drives me mad during mealtimes. He apparently struggles with staying still on the carpet at school. I’ve considered putting glue on his trousers but I don’t have any reasonable suggestions… I don’t think it’s my appalling parenting because his younger sibling can quite happily sit in one spot.

Same … do you have a girl as the younger one by any chance? I always used to think that it was rubbish, the whole boy / girl mum thing but I’m not so sure now!

My just 10yo nephew is like this, like fucking Tigger. I had a vestibular disorder diagnosed 4 years ago, the next weekend bro and sil here with bouncy bouncy dn1&2. I fucking love my brother but the pair of them vaping outside 90% of the times not parenting, of course I lost my shit.

I've got a football mad lad myself, I do let him play football in my living room til he knocks my flowers over 😂

Should also add he and his little bro are on toddler diets or baby meals, I'm not even joking,

Yes! I’ve always been sceptical of the usual gender stereotypes too, but my daughter is much more able to sit still and focus even though she’s two years younger. She’s quite loud and boisterous and in many ways quite like her big brother, but the sitting still thing has been a big difference!