Dad here...struggling with Empty Nest Syndrome

[LucMo]

Hi all,

Apologies for the lengthy post...

I'm a 55 Yr old dad and it's been the privilege of my life to be able to be a dad to two amazing kids.

I've just dropped my eldest off at Uni last Sat, and came back to his empty room...and it just crushed me.
He's 19 now but spent 15yrs in that room that was his and now it's like he was never there.

I'm going to be honest...I've been in tears for days.
Selfishly, because I also think I'm sad all those years I've had with them (the younger is about to turn 18) being their protector, their provider...playing with them, hugging, reading a bedtime story or singing them to sleep, adventures with them, being able to tell them something about the world that made them say 'wow', bath times, taking them to school, picking them up and cuddling them whenever they or I needed it....those times are now over for me.
And this event, really hit this home to me.

Now, I'm very grateful for what I do have, two amazing/healthy kids, a wife I adore and love more than ever, good friends and financially stable.
And I understand that they need to move on and my role is still 'Dad' and I get to enjoy a different journey with them now, more as 'counsellor' than 'director' and I am looking forward to that too, but I am so going to miss these times I had with them and wanted to understand how others had coped with this?

I feel unusual in this, as I don't really know if others I know have felt this sadness as much as I'm feeling.
Some of this could relate to the fact that I lost my dad suddenly in an accident when I was 13 and missed him so much growing up. I always knew I'd love to have kids and sort of re-build that connection through my own kids, and I'm so grateful I've had that opportunity.

While his room is empty, one process I'm undertaking, is re-doing his room with a new make-over. Decorating it, and upgrading furniture, so when he does come back home, it's still his room with his things in it, but changed from a kids room to a more grown up rooms that's his.

Anyway, that's it. Sorry again for the long post, but would love to hear if anyone had similar experiences.

Thanks loads.

These feelings are entirely normal the only difference is we don't normally hear from a Dad's perspective. I do note however that a lot of posters tell women posting like to pull themselves together! But yes, normal to be sad, its a big thing!

I agree with this.

My Ds wanted to update his room once he had graduated and it was clear tht he would be living at home for the foreseeable. I think he would have been upset if we had done it in his absence. He used to get cross enough when my DH used it to work from home occasionally!