Please tell me it gets easier after 3

[CoralFz]

Im a sahm to a very intelligent, sociable, very very verbal 3 year old (3 and a bit). 2 was easy, terrible 2s wasnt a thing for me, i think partly because he was able to communicate from very early on. He has always been one for constant interaction, i swear he talks constantly from rhe moment he wakes to the moment he finally falls asleep. Naps in the last month have gone and that has been hard, having that midday reset to have time to myself was crucial. Since he turned 3, the boundary pushing has begun and wow its relentless. We had our first few tantrums a few weeks ago and i was completely taken back by how explosive they were, i think i know now when it might happen so i know to change how im approaching something to avoid big meltdowns. But there is an answer for everyrhing, where he used to have small pockets of independant time he now wants constant inreraction. Breakfast takes forever, teeth brushing (tried every tactic under the sun) is stressful, getttig dressed is a pain. And after all that im frustrated and the thought of a whole day to get through makes me feel overwhelmed. My husband is great, he takes over mostly to get him bathed and in bed when he gets home. I work late evnings so tiredness does play a part. Specially days when i parent all day then head to work for the evening the days feel super long and relentless. Hes jyst started nursery for a few mornings a week but its not enough.

I am very aware i am very lucky that he could be a lot lot harder and my god im glad hes not having multiple tantrums a day etc. But i keep seeing people say that 4 is harder. Honestly im questoning most days if im cut out for this already, i can just about manage with it all and was hoping there would be a light at the end of the tunnel being 4, but is that not going to happen!?!

3 is the hardest age for little kids in my opinion. Mine were lovely at 2, but dickheads at 3. Mostly lovely again by 4! Hang on in there OP and def put him in nursery more if you can afford to. I know many disagree but nursery was great for mine especially at that age, they thrived off the routine and the social interaction, and also soaked up all the learning on offer. Helped knacker them out too!!

Yes, I had a similar experience in that 2 was great and then 3 felt much more challenging in terms of tantrums. 4 was absolutely lovely from memory!

I would say though, each age and stage has different benefits/challenges and they won’t always be the same for you compared to others, so try not to pay too much attention to what other people are saying is difficult. We’re all individual, as are our children. You’re not doing anything wrong for finding this stage more challenging.

Re the teeth the best technique I used was to have an electric toothbrush that did the actual brushing and then I used to “chase” imaginary characters round DC’s mouth and try to catch them. I think that one came from Dr Becky, who does “Good Inside.” I’d recommend checking her stuff out as it might also help with the tantrums 💐

Thank you i will try that teeth idea. Any ideas on getting him to stay put in bed? 🤣 he has become a master at drink, toilet, drink, another song, just jumping up escaping etc. It ends in him upset and he only then calms down after a long cuddle. I wish it didnt get to the point of him being upset though. The thing is the toilet, hes been dry at night since 2 and we just dont want to deny the toilet and him ending up having an accident, half the time he actually does need the toilet even though he literally went before taking him to bed, half the time he doesnt and is just stalling.

I’d say that 4/5 in particular is tricky for different reasons. They are tired from school and there are big emotions.

I’d say what makes it easier is childcare and getting a break. I didn’t find 2/3 so bad because mine were in nursery full time and Dh and I shared the evenings pretty equitably, so I had a lot of time to myself still, solo holidays, it wasn’t an everyday slog.

6-9 is particularly pleasant though. Can’t say 10+ is my favourite stage. My 13 year old is a lot of work, but not in a might fall in a pond requiring constant supervision sort of way.