Why didnt it feel the same 2nd time round?

[Lilahy9]

Please no judgment i love both of my kids more than anything in the world

I remember having my 1st baby. The pregnancy i was so excited and so excited to meet my baby. I know exactly how I felt in that moment and when I look back on pictures I cry! I remember how amazing that moment felt almost 5 years ago

With my youngest it doesnt feel as intense. I felt love and happiness when I met them but I didnt feel the intensity. I dont look back on pictures of their birth with the same reaction? I feel so horrible. I have struggled with my youngest baby and im worried I did something wrong I wasn't excited during pregnancy etc too no matter how hard I tried

My 1st baby we were trying for under a year but it felt a while. So I was anticipating and felt so grateful and happy when we finally found out i was pregnant

My 2nd baby was a suprise and I should've just been grateful as I had previously took months to conceive but I felt scared anxiois and I wasnt ready for another baby

I do love my youngest just like my eldest. I did struggle initially they were very unsettled as a baby which I wonder was it my fault

Is this normal though to feel different about pregnancy and birth 2nd time round? I feel like a monster i dont get why I feel different

I was on such a high after DS1!!! I was so in that newborn bubble that I had DS2 just 18 months later 😂
But you really don’t have the luxury to just waltz about with a baby the second time around- pushing the pram while sipping a coffee, lying in bed watching your baby, or wandering around while they sleep peacefully. You already have another child to look after (in my case, an 18-month-old!).
Even the pregnancy is completely different when you’re already a mum. I had a just-turned-one-year-old while dealing with morning sickness, there was no lying on the sofa watching Netflix all day! 😂
I think the first is so magical because you have no other distractions. You can completely immerse yourself in that little baby bubble, and there’s something really special about that.

Because you already have one baby to look after! It’s just not the same at all.

Agree you're probably distracted with dc1, and there's no novelty value with a second.

I had a biggish gap (4yrs) so dc1 was in school when I had dc2, and it felt just as magical for me, because I was able to relive it all again fully focused on the baby.

If you are worried about not bonding speak to your hv.

Wait until you get to the fourth ...

Totally normal. I loved first pregnancy and post partum period, existed in a little bubble and had two years off in total. Felt guilty with the second that I didn’t have those feelings and found the jump from one to two tricky. He’s now the apple of my eye.

I felt a bit like this with my second too. I think it was because when I was pregnant the first time it was easily the most important thing happening in my life and was my sole focus. During the second pregnancy my two year old was my sole focus and I didn’t have time to enjoy the pregnancy as much. My husband and I both used to say that we kept forgetting we were having another baby because we were so busy with our son. But now that our daughter is here we obviously love them exactly the same.

No, pretty much everyone thinks "what have we done". Doesn't make you a bad parent, it just isn't the same second time around.

I have two children and I love them both, but dc1 turned me from a woman into a mother.

It was the other way round for me. I wasn't prepared for the first one, I had a rotten pregnancy and was utterly shell shocked after the birth and the first few days and weeks even though everything went smoothly.
Second time round the pregnancy was equally awful (hyperemesis) but I enjoyed every minute of the birth. I wonder whether all births feel different.

It is different though, that doesn't make it any less, just different! Pregnancy with DC1 you could focus on looking after yourself, with DC2 you're looking after DC1 at the same time. Preparation - DC1 it's "what pram should we get? What crib? Baby grows? Toys?" while with DC2 it's "get everything down from the loft". Birth with DC2, you need childcare for DC1. When DC1 arrives, it's a big change to your lives - DC2 is as well but it's also a big change to DC1's life, and that can be more complicated to help them navigate while you're post partum. DC1 you know you'll need to work it out as you go along, DC2 in theory you know what you're doing but then strategies that worked for DC1 might not work because they are not the same child!