Is it unreasonable to let my five-year-old walk in school alone?

[DinoNuggetsRUs]

Just wanting some opinions as I got a really dirty look this morning and one of my 5 year olds school friends parents was clearly whispering to another parent about what I’d done.
So I park pretty much right outside the school gates, and my 5 year olds classroom is in view of the gates. The door is around 7foot away from them.
I have a very spicy almost 2 year old who screams and fights bloody murder when I carry him to drop 5 year old at his classroom door. Kicking and screaming. So I have to get the pram out of the car, put him in it to restrain him, walk 12 foot to his classroom, then back to the car with a screaming toddler. So the past two days, I’ve been getting out of the car, leaving 1 year old in the car, standing next to it and watching my 5 year walk to his classroom door. He walks about 5 foot from my car to the gate, which has fences blocking it from the road and then around 7 foot to his classroom door and I can see him the whole way through the railings. Honestly is this neglectful? He’s completely happy doing it but now I’m second guessing whether he’s too young?

I'd be talking about you as well!!!
Not for letting your wee angel walk in the gate themselves but for parking right outside the school gates. 😱🙄

If it's such a short distance, why the need for a stroller? Your 5 year old is mature enough to walk by themselves without running into the road, so no reason why you can't just carry or allow the nearly 2 year old to walk.

I don't think the principle of what you are doing is wrong, but something must be wrong with it if you are encouraging and noticing dirty looks.

It says the need for the stroller in the OP

Is that true?

In all my years as a primary school parent and governor for part of that time it was never once mentioned that the children weren't insured until 9am, they were able to enter the school from 8.45 and it was actively encouraged that they be there well before 9am

The HT was a stickler for procedures so I'd be amazed if they took the risk of being uninsured

Lots of children walked ahead of their parents in groups and went in by themselves, no issue at all

No explanation for why a nearly 2 year old can't walk 12 feet though, unless I missed that too...

It very clearly explains in the OP

In 20+ years of working in primary schools (peripatetic so many different schools) and I’ve never once heard that.

The reason schools don’t want unsupervised children in the playground is because there are no longer staff numbers to be able to keep and eye on them, and it’s absolutely no longer acceptable (to parents mostly) for children to be unsupervised.

Also the insurance thing being accurate would suggest that Scottish schools, where it’s very common for children to walk alone, somehow have entirely different insurance coverage or operate uninsured in the mornings and I don’t believe that for a seconds

We have a very small school where parking is right outside the gates. We usually
walk but when we have to drive because we’re rushing off somewhere I actually leave my two year old in the car if it’s raining (as I can see the car from where I am and it’s literally just two minutes and he even says he wants to stay in the car) and run my elder one in.

Clearly not clear enough for me, I can only see an objection to being carried. "I have a very spicy almost 2 year old who screams and fights bloody murder when I carry him to drop 5 year old at his classroom door. Kicking and screaming. So I have to get the pram out of the car, put him in it to restrain him, walk 12 foot to his classroom, then back to the car with a screaming toddler."

Not being obtuse, I literally can't see it being clearly explained why the toddler can't be put down to walk the 12 feet holding Mum's hand. OP isn't wrangling 2 children, just the one, as the Yr1 walks by themselves safely.

If it was a greater distance, crossing driveways or roads with a less sensible older child, I'd understand the need for the stroller to keep both safe, but it's 12 feet with a trustworthy older child.

(I had to drive a Yr 1 with 2 under 2 too, so believe me, I know how tricky school drop offs are to navigate. Thank goodness for school buses when we moved rurally!)

As I said, in principle what OP is doing sounds fine, but there seems to be a different issue going on for her to garner dirty looks and whispers.

You’ve literally quoted where she explains why. You might not agree with her reasoning, but she couldn’t be clearer on her reason for using the buggy.

We’re strongly encouraged to use the drop off zone at school. You pull in parallel to the pavement, child comes out of car unassisted with bag and coat and walks the 25m path to class on their own. If a reception child is scared they wait on their own for an older pupil to walk them up. I’m a rebel so I break the rules by coming out of the car to give my kid a kiss and a cuddle goodbye!

@DinoNuggetsRUs
You could ring the school and just say "Can I please check where parents are allowed to park doing drop off.. and see what they say. You don't need to mention where you are parking. Could even say that there seems to be some confusion." Then you'd know one way or the other.

It' s probably fine to watch him walk to the door but as others have said it might be something to do with the parking space.

Could you get Spicy a little trolley toy of some sort to push, we used to have one with toy cubes in it, with a little handlebar, which you could whip in and out of the car much more easily and they could push/walk with you and DS in front? Cos it sounds to me like Spicy wants to be more independent and might enjoy that more. (I had trouble getting them into the car, and getting them out of the car again.. so I do understand)

You say often in your posts that you are pushed for time, or cutting it fine.

II hope this doesn't sound patronising, (because I've been in your situation) but I think this might be making things more fraught for you, including finding parking spaces etc.. and also maybe why your Spicy is being tricky.

It's completely understandable and probably there's lots going on but maybe it would be time to get a regular routine going where everything is laid out the night before... a go bag by the front door, and getting yourself up and ready first a bit earlier, breakfast mostly laid the night before Think about what things are holding you up in the morning and see if there's a fix if you prepare in advance. Eg (if Spicy won't eat breakfast in time take a small snack with you)
You'd have time to keep things calm, they'd get used to the routine and you'd feel less flustered and more in control which in turn would pass to them. It would give you so much more confidence, especially if there's a dirty looks brigade.

It's still only September. Everyone will soon start to settle down. I had a Spicy, they needed lots and lots of running about. Ignore the mean girls. Chin up. It will get better. Also if you do go in with DS, you'll get a chance to see some of the other mums, who may also have a Spicy themselves and can set up playdates etc.
Enjoy this time, its hard work but there's happy times to be had as well x

We both have different understandings of the English language in that case.

I see nothing to explain why the toddler can't or won't walk 12 feet (or 24 with the return to the car). Just an objection to being carried, so the only other apparent option other than staying in the car is the stroller.

There may be a valid reason why the toddler can't walk on their own feet for the distance of 24 feet, but OP doesn't say why this isn't an option.

Please quote where she "clearly explains" why the toddler can't "walk". You keep saying it is clear, but I can't see it and you won't elaborate. Can anyone else help; this is going around in circles?!

My sons school parents go in and take coat off/ get them sat down. Is that the case at your school?

You are clearly just having me on here, nobody is that obtuse. You quoted it yourself, and there is just no helping you. Have a nice day.

You’re probably blocking the road/car park. Lazy people do this all the time at my daughter’s school.

My toddler was also a nightmare to get in and out and back into the car for his big sister's school drop off. So we got a big bike where they both sit in the back and I can wheel it close to the gate, and he doesn't need to get out. It is such a massive life changer, I really recommend it

Ok.... I have no argument with you, there is just literally nothing where OP says why the toddler can't walk.

Despite asking several times, you will repeatedly take the time to respond to attempt to disparage me but won't back up where it is "clearly" stated. It's okay to admit if you were mistaken.

I was mistaken initially when I focused on the toddler's objection to the stroller and suggested walking or perhaps carrying them the short distance, forgetting that they didn't like to be carried.

Yes, I was 5 yrs and 4 months when I started school. We all went to school alone from the start. Bus filled with schoolchildren, just a normal service bus. For me a journey of 1.5 miles. Some others got on along the route. We all got off bus, trooped into sweet shop to buy 'play piece', and then walked up the hill to school, 5 mins quick walk or 10 mins dawdling. Ages 5 to 12.

My toddler loves to walk - only not in the direction I want him to. He usually pelts himself into the direction of the closest death trap so unfortunately, not currently an option.

Im thinking it’s the parking maybe, or actually now looking back, as he’s only been doing it the past two days I’ve been waving and grinning at him through the railings while he walks in and have done a little cheer when he reached his classroom door, so could also be that they just think I look a knob.

It looks as if it's parking that's the problem. Do you have to drive? How far is it? Would it make you late for work?

I was not mistaken, but you must be on the wind up, literally quoting where she’s stated why she restrains the toddler in the buggy, but acting like you can’t see it, what’s the point in me also quoting it when you are doing that?

Yeah, unfortunately so! When I was on mat leave with the little one, we walked when it wasn’t raining, it’s about a 20 min walk. But I have to drop eldest at school for quarter to 9, youngests’ pre-school opens at 9 on the dot, no earlier and somehow I have to make it to work for 9am which is 15 minutes away from the preschool 😅 safe to say I’m winging it.

I was walking to school alone when I was 5! My kids were dropped off in the playground!