DD7 is excellent reader but doesn't seem to enjoy reading?

[saltshaker99]

DD7 (nearly 8) is starting year 3. Reading and writing are her top strengths, she was the first one in her class to move on from banded reading books to free choice books and her teachers have raved about her skills in English. She loves writing stories and does so of her own accord all the time, and she uses vocabulary and turns of phrase she's read in books. DH and I have always read to her every day, including chapter books for a while now. So she loves being read to and she loves writing.
The problem is that it is SO hard to get her to read. In year 2 we were usually only able to get her to read the bare minimum so that she could put something in her reading record, it was such a chore to her. And this was with books she had chosen. Back in early summer, May or June, she took a stack of 7 books out of the library that she was excited to read, and we still have 2 of them sitting around now. Every time we went to the library I would say I'm taking back the ones she hasn't read, and she's protested and insisted she will read them if we renew. But it's like pulling teeth with her. If she's at a loss asking for something to do I often suggest doing some reading but she acts like that's a disgusting suggestion. We had problems with excessive screen time in the past but we started to cut that down about a year ago and her screen time is really minimal now, most days. She has glasses, her eyesight isn't a problem.
Today she has a whole day at home because she's under the 48hr rule but she isn't sick anymore. Her dad is off sick too and looking after her but hasn't got much energy, I suggested the two of them have some cosy reading time together where they both read their own books together, and she started huffing and puffing like it's the last thing she would want to do. She said she doesn't really enjoy reading chapter books because it's hard. I don't think reading chapter books is actually hard for her but I can understand a stamina problem at her age, you need to read though to improve your stamina! She hasn't done a single page of reading since starting back at school and her reading record is empty still. I think at her skill level, reading should be a hobby that she enjoys? So weird. I want to foster a love of reading because it's so good for attention span, stamina, love of stories, vocabulary and all sorts of things.
I have wondered before whether part of it might be because the books she chooses look so nice on the cover but are horrendously dull once you start reading them (girl finds out unicorns exist and goes to a special school for unicorn riders where nobody has a personality, foils some kind of dastardly scheme that has no stakes), but I might just be being snobby there. We've read her loads of books that have proper characters/humour/suspense that are ones we've chosen ourselves but she always prefers to have them read to her!

Not everyone likes it, it cant be forced

There's no reason she should automatically enjoy reading just because you do - or indeed just because she's good at it. If her teacher was praising her maths skills, I bet you wouldn't be expecting her to sit and do sums for an hour as a leisure activity.

Reading fiction for pleasure is a hobby. You can't force her to love a hobby she's just not keen on. She's performing well at school and her reading and writing are excellent, so it doesn't sound as she needs the practice.

If she likes writing stories, why not suggest she does that instead of reading? Or read to her, or sort her out with audiobooks that she can listen to while she does other things (like drawing or puzzles or crafts or whatever). That way she'll still be engaging with narratives and storytelling, even if she's not that keen on the mechanics of reading.

I'm speaking here as someone who was, and still is, obsessed with books and reading. I was that kid who took six books out of the library every week and read them all before they were due back and pestered my parents to take me again. But I see it as something I like doing, not something that everyone should like doing. I think a lot of people seem to consider reading to be some sort of morally and intellectually superior activity that everyone should have to do to be a well-rounded person. But it isn't, and they don't.

If your child was struggling with reading skills and needed to practise, sure, I'd be suggesting ways of encouraging her. But she isn't. She's doing just fine. So I wouldn't worry about this, honestly.

As PP has said you can’t force reading enjoyment. Look at reading in its widest sense so include comics, non fiction books, poetry, joke books, interactive books and those for younger children. Some picture books can have more mature themes or challenging vocabulary.

Have you considered visual stress or Irlen’s just a thought to explore. Have you asked what the print looks like on the page? She could need overlays.

This sounds like me at around the same age. In my case, it was Enid Blyton that got me into reading. My lovely, much missed childminder had some old EB books and she gifted them to me. I just loved reading about Mallory Towers and boarding school and midnight feasts. A whole other world that was unfamiliar to me, growing up in 1980s west Belfast.

I thought I’d have loved to go to boarding school! Maybe wrong given when I pitched up as an undergraduate at Cambridge 10 years later (that reading really did pay off!) I cried for a fortnight when my parents left.

I digress: I think you need to find her books and stories that hook her interest, as I did.

My dd was highly intelligent and literate but hated reading. She laughs now at all the books she got for Christmas that were untouched. If they’re not into it, you cant force it.

Hmm, I get that you can't force reading as a hobby but looking back I think it's more that she's gone off it a bit over time. She's REALLY interested in books! She picks books out that she's enthusiastic to read, she asks to be read to all the time, she asks for books from a particular series for her birthday etc. And last year she did read independently all the time, she read all of the David Walliams 'World's Worst' books from cover to cover. I'm just wondering if there's something else getting in her way from actually sitting down and opening a book these last several months. Like some kind of modern-life overstimulation or something. Her toddler brother is very annoying to her downstairs and not conducive to reading there but she doesn't like being alone in her room either. Maybe she's starving for connection and reading alone doesn't give her that. "Look at reading in its widest sense so include comics, non fiction books, poetry, joke books, interactive books and those for younger children" may be good advice @24Dogcuddler , chapter books may feel like a lot of pressure and she does still pick up and read random stuff like joke books.

Try a magazine, kids National Geographic, Aquialla or graphic novels. What kinds of things does she like doing with her time?

That was my (now 19)DD at that sort of age. She went on to devour audiobooks (libraries will have them on CDs or available to download online as audiobooks; we streamed to a speaker.

You could try her with non-fiction? Horrible Histories or something geography or science related? Or somewhere she’s visited or plans to visit?

FWIW DD still doesn’t read that much, but managed great marks in her GCSEs and A levels.

My DS is the same age and finds chapter books a slog even though he is technically perfectly capable of reading them. Yesterday he went through 8 shorter "banded" type books in a series which he loves. Other times he will sit down and work through a space, animal or dinosaur encyclopedia. I think it's most important to provide access to as many different options of material as you can, and put no pressure on it.

And if she loves sitting and reading with you, that's wonderful and a win, surely? Start a series together and enjoy it!

My youngest was the same, older 3 kids were all avid readers so I was surprised especially as her reading level was always advanced.
However she does really enjoy audiobooks, graphic novels like the Babysitter's Club series and comics like Beano and Phoenix. She's 9 now and starting to read actual books for pleasure.

She was quick to pick up the mechanics of reading but that doesn’t mean she’s able to paint the picture in her head when reading to herself or gains pleasure from it. I’m guessing that when you read you lose the words and see the story like a film in your head. That’s a combination of skills and not just ‘reading’.

I’m guessing that you’re expecting that because she’s good at decoding - she has excellent decoding fluency - you think she should be automatically good at narrative transportation. But she isn’t yet. She doesn’t get lost in the story yet because that’s a second skill. One many people never develop and so never read as adults.

My sister and I were both equally good readers as children, but I loved reading and she didn't. She never really read for pleasure and she still doesn't now. It really doesn't seem to have held her back in any way.

If she doesn't want to read, I would just accept that. She may change her mind at a later date, or she may not. It isn't compulsory.

My DD was exactly the same. I didn’t force it. I think she preferred to be read to, to cuddle up close, under the blankets and just enjoy the story. She’s 15 now and loves to read.

Mines the same, also an early reader, bit younger than yours etc just introduced 15 minutes of reading 5 days a week, she reads her book and I read my book. Seems to be going well and she enjoys it once she gets started.

Mine liked the hilarity of Dr Seuss and the Horrible Histories series. I think Dr Seuss has such great pictures with the stories it helped with imagination. They also read Enid Blyton Famous Five and we had days of them inserting 'gosh' and 'golly' into conversations. (Both are adults now, one rarely reads and the other reads a lot and their current love is Manga.) There are some really good autobiographies for children which cover everyone from Einstein to Dolly Parton so maybe see if there's one on someone you daughter really likes and see how that goes.

If she doesn't like reading chapter books because they are hard, then encourage her to read non-chapter books.

Reading her school book is non-negotiable but keep it to 10 or 15 minutes if she hates it.
Keep reading to her as she enjoys that. If she's open to it try with her reading alternate sentences or alternate pages.

Let her go to the library and choose picture books or whatever books take her fancy. The point is to foster the love for reading, not insist on certain types of books. Even though she appears to be a good reader, it requires effort on her part, which makes it not enjoyable. So make it enjoyable again.

It sounds like she’s just not ready for chapter books.

What about a graphic novel? Bunny vs monkey, dog man, Pablo and Splash, the investigators are all popular amongst this age group.

DD was exactly the same at 8! The books aimed at 8 year old girls can be pretty dull, but DD loved the Ramona Quimby books. I read them as a child in the US. I have no idea why they have never been better known in the UK.

(I’ve linked a boxed set, because I can’t work out how to link to Amazon without sharing my details, but they are available individually. There are always lots of proved on World of Books etc).

The Beano got my child back into reading in Y3 after a wobble

Just do the bare minimum and get her out doing things she does enjoy instead. I can’t imagine many 7 year olds enjoy reading.

My DD was similar at that age - she could read well, but didn’t want to read chapter books, and didn’t really want us to read to her either. She got back into reading with graphic novels, and we got her a subscription to the Phoenix magazine which has lots of different comic strips (including Bunny vs Monkey which is very popular). Might be worth a try?

What is she doing instead of reading? When she chooses not to read, what activities or hobbies are filling up that time?

I'm liking all the suggestions of things to read other than chapter books, thanks everyone.
It does seem to be chapter books that come home from school and she's supposed to be filling in her reading record a couple times a week so we do need to make this type of reading happen, at least to an extent.
Her favourite thing to do is play with me/DH but when she has to be doing something by herself, she normally chooses to write, draw, or make something like junk modelling. She very frequently starts writing a book and does about two pages of it. We have a couple of new unfinished books written by her every week!

My DD12 was the same and got fed up of books around the same age. We got her a phoenix comic subscription and some graphic novels and she now reads these alongside books.

It helps her to switch down the mental hard work when reading when she needs to. If that make any sense.

She struggled with the school reading as it was just not interesting to her.

DD likes things like “bad guys” if that helps, I didn’t think she’d like a graphic novel but she finds it hilarious which helps.