Going from 1 to 2 babies…

[Mummawhit2]

Going from 1 to 2… Did anyone have that overwhelming feeling they wouldn’t cope? I have 9 weeks to go and the panic is setting in… Any tips?

What’s the age difference?

You will absolutely fine 😊 18 months between our two, and DD1 was 18 months old when DD2 was born (DD1 was IVF, DD2 was a total surprise!). You will find what works for you, and your babies, and you’ll manage. How old is your current dc?

I think it’s normal to feel like that. It’s just hard time imagine juggling two kids. I found the first few weeks the hardest - obviously with your hormones being all over the place, adjusting to having two kids to look after, sleepless nights etc. But honestly, the time goes so quickly and you’ll quickly find a new rhythm.
Just go into it knowing that it’ll be chaotic for a little while and lean into the chaos!

You'll be fine. Just don't do what I did. 18m between mine. Changed the eldest's nappy, popped him on his feet to toddle off. Changed my newborn's nappy straight after. He didn't toddle off!

Just over 2 years…

The first few weeks are a hoot. Someone will always be crying. Prioritise the one most likely to remember. TV is not the devil. Multitasking level up. Eat the biscuits.

It's very hard to picture just how it will work but it does and you'll find your groove soon enough.

2y and a bit between mine. They are the very best of friends.

Good luck!

Think it’s overwhelming to think I can love another child as much as my current but embracing the change and can’t wait to give my toddler a new best friend!

You will love both of them.

It’s not a matter of taking away love from your firstborn - your heart expands when no 2 arrives. You love even more than you thought you could imagine. It is utterly fascinating seeing their similarities but also their differences, watching their bond grow, watching them resolve their little big / small spats.

Mine are as thick as thieves and I love them both more than I could ever express.

Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy.

You can imagine my face when I realised I was going to have to deal with two when I didn’t even know how to deal with one! Routine was my saviour along with dummies! You will find yours . Good luck!

Just over two years gap here. Second had a dummy from the offset and luckily was a great napper/sleeper. Actually found the newborn stage lovely and calm. Popped into the bassinet pram or carrier and chased the toddler about like usual. Six months when the new baby is moving about more is when it got more difficult for me. Also toddler going through jealously /lashing out stage now, when initially was obsessed with new baby. Waiting it out and hopefully will get used to the new normal !! Can’t actually wait until new baby is walking as the most difficult part for me has definitely been trying to fulfil their different needs.

And the love part , don’t even worry about that. First few days I was a mess and felt so terrible for my toddler , then felt awful I couldn’t give as much emotionally to my newborn- and then suddenly you just don’t think about it and realise you somehow love them equally. Watching how different their personalities are has been so interesting and quite mind blowing too!

It’s fine! You just need to be a bit more mindful. All the usual exhaustion that comes with birth and a newborn but this time you also have an older yet still very young child who needs you to care for him, play with him, do 1:1 with, crawl about on the floor with, carry, lift etc.

Totally get that, I remember feeling the same and asking the same question!

It's a weird feeling, so many mixed emotions! So much love for the two of them, for them individually, yet a bittersweet sadness for the 1-1 relationship with the eldest before. I described it to my DH almost like I was grieving what I had before, whilst absolutely loving what I had. But seeing the love between baby and toddler grow was and is immensely heartwarming.

Good luck 🥰

I am in a similar place. 3 years between mine and struggling to work out how I will manage with 2 when it feels like I am barely managing 1 and pregnancy. I just feel sick and tired the whole time atm.

Edited to add I am finding some of these responses reassuring.