Is it normal for a 12-year-old to stay in her room?

[onyourbill]

Genuinely don’t know what to think! My, just turned 12, DD, seems to just want to spend her life in her bedroom talking to her friends whilst playing Roblox. She has limits on her phone etc, but still wants to be in her room. She will engage in things with DH and I, example being went flower picking today and a local walk. A lot of other kids around here appear to do the same thing! She dances 3 times a week so she is absolutely engaging in other activities. Is this normal?? Clueless, winging it parent mode 😩

Does she have a limit on Roblox?

Completely normal

She does. She has limits on everything

Really?? Been so worried 😟

I used to spend virtually all my time at home in my room. It can remember even taking meals up there. I didn’t grow up in a particularly harmonious household though.

Our children never did it. If they had friends over when small, they’d be in the play room a lot, it later became ‘the den’. But apart from that, they’d spend all their time in the kitchen or sitting room with us. They are boys though, so less likely to be chatting on the phone to mates for hours, or admiring themselves in the mirror (this was me, from 12 onwards 😂).

Completely normal. She will emerge
in several years

I was exactly the same, and like you, didn’t grow up in the happiest of homes. But ours is a genuinely happy home. She is having a tough time in school, diagnosed with ADHD and on pathway for ASD, and school are just absolutely crap.

🤣

Very normal if mine is anything to go by 😂

9yr old has been in the bedroom since we got home 3 hours ago. Then again, they share with an older sibling, who has been downstairs. Bit of space doesnt hurt.

12 year old DS exactly the same. He’d play on his Xbox all day and night if I let him!

No devices in bedrooms here - I want to be able to informally monitor what’s going on

My DSis was exactly the same growing up (90s) whereas I was the opposite and always wanted to be out and about. DM couldn’t believe she had two such different girls

My nearly 12 year old ASD DD is exactly the same. In her room. If she’s not using her phone or laptop she’s crafting and drawing. I go in now and again to engage with her but I know when she wants me out because she’ll stare at me and go “yep, love you”. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Completely normal! Here anyway.. 😅

100% developmentally appropriate.

Normal my dd is same.
We have a series that we watch together late of an evening but apart from that she is crafting, face timing, playing Roblox, doing skincare, trying hairstyles etc
I was the same at that age and I did grow up in a happy home.

Totally Normal

It's very normal!

Mine probably would, but has no access to tech upstairs.

Phones, iPad and PlayStation are all for use in communal areas. Laptop can be upstairs, but only for homework and mine usually choose to do that downstairs in case they need help.

They do sometimes watch TV or whatever in their rooms though.

Ds is 14 and has been like this since 12ish. He comes out for food and for a walk / lunch etc if it’s something that interests him but otherwise spends time in his room or the gaming room chatting to friends / watching stuff on his iPad and reading. I can hear who he’s talking to and what he’s up to so I’m not concerned. I was pretty much the same at that age, except we didn’t have the internet so I’d be making up dances to stuff on the radio and listening to Tori Amos!

Don't you remember being 12, OP? We had far less tech, but still only came out of our rooms to eat. She's fine.