Is it normal not to miss your children on a short break?

[Lottiefranks]

How do you feel when you have time away from your children? Do I you ‘miss’ them? If you know they’re safe and being well looked after, do you think about them much?

For context, I’ve just had two nights away with my husband whilst my parents looked after my kids. I’ll be honest I’ve barely thought about them, although we spoke about them a lot whilst away.

However, when it came to returning home I felt weird, I wasn’t ready and i’m not itching to pick them up. I feel pretty bad about it because I know they probably can’t get wait to see us. Not sure if this is a normal way to feel…

It’s a personal experience - so different for everyone.
I’ve always felt quite odd as I generally don’t miss people - including my children.
It did used to worry me, perhaps I’m cold hearted and unloving, which I deep down knew wasn’t true!
I genuinely never have that longing need to be with certain people, but do get excited to be reunited with people I’ve not seen for a period. Not sure where it comes from. Self preservation, avoiding feeling too dependent on being with people. Emotionally independent?
really don’t know, but it’s normal for some people and is in no way a reflection of your love for them.

No idea what’s normal, but I used to miss my children if I was away from them even for a day. I suppose we were all happiest when we were with each other so I wanted that. As long as they’re loved by you and looked after, I’m not sure worrying about whether what you’re feeling is normal or not is helpful.

I feel relieved when mine aren't here....but they are 21 and 18. I just find I need more space as I'm getting older.....

I can’t really say I’ve ever missed my kids when away. I’ve been away for 2 weeks to Australia or 3 weeks to the US for work. It’s not that I dislike being home. But I don’t miss them. I don’t miss Dh either and I love him and enjoy being around him too. It’s nice to see them when I come back, but I’m definitely never sad to be away. I’m a very independent person though and I don’t really think I’ve ever missed anyone!

I go away 1-2 times a year just with husband, and no I don’t miss my kids. We talk about them a lot though.

No as I know they’re safe with their dad. Well maybe after a week I’d be dying to see them! But technology is great for bridging the gap

In the whole 3 instances I've been away from my kids I have not missed them 1 iota. I'm apparently a very much outta sight, outta mind person. Dh is very much the opposite though... And now they're all 11+ have phones so can still pester us

When young, maybe under 10, yes, massively so.

A bit older not so much.

I dont think how much you miss them is a reflection of anything deep really, we're all just built differently

I had a week in the US with work and didn’t miss my 18 month old at all. I thought I would but I didn’t. I knew she was safe and that I would see her soon so I just enjoyed the time off parenting.

Generally not, if I'm away with friends and having fun and I know they're ok at home with DH! I do get excited about seeing them when I'm on my way home though & look forward to seeing them ☺️

I would miss them in the sense of if I'm away for weeks maybe I could have a phone call or look through a window/camera check they are OK see them happily playing or a one off cuddle. I do not miss being needed 24/7.

I've only been away once in 11 years for 3 days whilst they were with my husband. I was so hyper aware that it was such a one off and hasn't since happened again I definitely didn't miss them. Because I know what being with them includes. It was lovely to just get myself ready feed myself stop start when I wanted to.

I do miss my husband when we are not together. But I'm also very happy in my own company.

Have you ever had a chance to miss them before?

Our children didn't stay at a grandparents until they were 5. So I literally had no child free time other than the fleeting moments between them going to sleep and me going to bed, for 5 years.

The first night they stayed away, I slept properly for the first time in 5 years and no, I did not miss them! I think it's different if they're off at nanny's after school a couple of nights, or they've stayed overnight at grandparents even just once month since age 1 or something. I was just exhausted from not a single day off in 5yrs.

My dont know how fucking lucky they have it cousins went away for a long weekend to Rome, and missed their DDs. My auntie collects their kids after school every night, feeds and baths them, they often stay over so she'll run them to school too, at least once of those nights, and she often takes them to zoos/parks etc at the weekends. If I had my children that little I'd probably have the luxury of missing them too!

I think if I had time away from them I’d find going back to parenting so so fucking hard to be perfectly honest.