Please help! Three-year-old waking multiple times a night

[5mooth]

Please help! Three-year-old waking multiple times a night

My son turned three at the end of July, and for the last six months he has been waking up multiple times every single night.

I honestly feel like I’ve tried everything at this point, but nothing seems to be working. It’s really affecting both me and my partner’s sleep, and we’re exhausted all the time. We’re struggling to cope, and it’s starting to drive us both nuts.

Has anyone else been through this with their three-year-old? Did anything actually work for you, or did they eventually grow out of it?

I’d really appreciate any advice or suggestions because we’re completely exhausted. 😩

Mine used to cry mummy I needs you on the night. I spent many nights sleeping on the floor next to her.

Then I stopped working full time and spent loads more time with her. Then she slept.

I know not working is far from the best or possible for many, but see if more time with your child helps?

She's 19 now and sleeps in her own bed these days.

Does he still nap?

My three year old has slept through maybe 5 times in his life, big part of him being an only child tbh. We wish we knew why, he only had tiny wakes now asking for a cuddle or a drink bit we like permanently at 60% I think, I can't remember the energy I had before. Had an active job and exercised, ran FOR FUN 😄 long gone days.

Following in case there's some good advice.

Yes, he does on non-nursery days and he gets so tired that he needs it.

Bless you! Sending love your way! 🤗

Honestly I spend so much time with him! Im so glad this helped for you! x

Do you Co sleep?

At age 3? Definitely not

Does he tell you why he needs you? Or does he not know and just knows his Mum helps him to feel better?

Fear of the dark is quite typical at this age, we are at that stage at the moment and a nightlight projector that stays on all night has done the trick. Bedtimes are back to being typical (not necessarily easy, but predictable and manageable on all sides).

He has a spinning star light projector , a music box, honestly weve tried everything at this point..when he wakes up he makes every excuse under the sun to stay up, we just give him a drink and he will settle back to sleep. But its multiple times a night, every night. 😥

Im glad to hear its getting easier for you!

You've got this! 💪 this age is sooo tricky! Its about what works

DD didn't sleep through until she went to school. We had a second mattress in her room to allow one of us to sleep with her- that maximised sleep for all of us, which was all we cared about by then; whoever was with her didn't actually need to get up when she woke. We kept drinks in the room.

All children (and adults!) wake up throughout the night, if they are tired enough or used to not getting much response (this is not a criticism, can't think how to word it better) they will generally just go back to sleep and not even remember it.

You basically have three choices if you want to stop it - you can either lean into it and let him come into your bed/room, knowing he will grow out of it eventually, you can do the cold turkey cry it out thing or you can gradually reduce the amount of input you give so they look for it less.

So for example he wants you to give him a drink - I would find a way that he can get the drink on his own and explain when you put him to bed that if he wants a drink, he can drink from this bottle but he does not need to wake you up. When he does wake you up anyway in the night because he will invariably revert to the pattern when half asleep, remind him about the bottle ideally from the bedroom door, and don't get involved in helping him get it. Also, don't engage in anything like tucking him back in or giving him a goodnight kiss or moving the bottle around for him - remember ideally you want him going back to sleep without looking for these things. If you want to do it more gradually though you can cut out one part at a time. But it is quickest if you emphasise how he can be independent and then remind him of how to do that. It usually takes a few nights and they stop asking for you to come in, because if they are thirsty then they have the drink there but IME it is not usually that they are thirsty, it's that it's the middle of the night and a bit worrying but mum/dad will come and that's reassuring. However the more times they experience waking up and getting a drink without needing you they get more confident with being able to handle this and then they are less likely to call out for you.

Check for worms.

he definitely needs to stop napping. It’ll be hard but you need to stop it even if super early bedtime. He’ll adjust to sleeping more at night. I wouldn’t be having any artificial light on overnight, like you mentioned a star projector, any artificial light disrupts melatonin

My now three year old has never slept through and regularly wakes still. We co sleep now which has been a game changer

My three year old was a good sleeper always settled himself off to sleep until he hit 3. I think it was increased awareness that caused it, he became afraid of the dark and being alone in it. We tried all sorts but in the end we put a small double bed in his room and one of us would go in on first wake and sleep the rest of the night with him. It wasn’t ideal but it was the only way we were getting a decent nights sleep. He’s almost 4 now and sleeps through most nights without needing one of us to go in.