Emotional regulation help for autistic child

[1tiredmum]

Hi everyone,

I am looking for some help here for my almost 5 years old autistic boy . He struggles with managing emotions and I am too tired of it . I have worked with a private educational physiologist and she suggested to describe what he is doing for 10 mins every day incorporating feelings ,colours etc. It did work for some time but he has came back to being an absolute anxious little man . He doesnt obey most of the times and his needs are priority for him . We had visitors home few days ago and they have a boy similar age as him . He was so calm stayed inside the house and played quietly with my son's toys while he kept on running in and out of the house trying to get inside our friends car (cars are his special interest ) and riding his bicycle then going in playing for a bit and running back out . It was a nightmare 😔. Can anyone please suggest a strategy that worked on emotional regulation for their child as I am going crazy . Thank you ❤️

They eventually get slightly better as they get older and meds can help with anxiety. Other than that, not much you can do other than sensory profile/diet and work out what he is sensitive to in terms of what will set him off.

Meltdowns arent really annything to do with emotional regulation, they are a physical response to being overwhelmed. Like fainting if you are too stressed out.

I've never heard that before, that meltdowns aren't linked to emotional regulation....... In the entire 16 years of speaking with various professionals with regards to my autistic daughter, no one has ever framed it like this. It makes absolute sense, I really wish I'd heard this years ago. Many thanks 👍

I know you must be tired and frustrated but please try not to compare your autistic DC to a typically developing child.

Have you been offered a post diagnostic Parent Programme such as NAS EarlyBird Plus? It would help you to understand his needs and learn some strategies. You’d also meet other parents who will understand.

You say he doesn’t “ obey” and his needs are his priority. This is true for lots of young children but often magnified for ND children.

Look at STAR analysis to unpick some behaviours and The Incredible 5 Point Scale for understanding and managing emotions. When My Autism Gets too Big is a good book to share ( when My Worries get too big is the same)

The book The Out of Synch Child has Fun gives lots of practical activities you can do at home to support with sensory needs.

DS is 19 and ASD. Hands down, 4-5 were the hardest years. The rise in testosterone, exhaustion of school, and ASD makes for a really tough time. As PP says, stop comparing him to other children (ND or NT). Parenting ND children (I have 3) is hard work. Sending solidarity.