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Parenting

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Original poster

Struggling with my 12 year old son’s behaviour at home

29 replies

YourBlueHare · 12/09/2026 15:59

I am really struggling to cope with my 12yr old son, every single day of every week is massive meltdowns, aggressive behaviour and back chat.

He does not know when to stop, cannot calm down and genuinely ruins every day. We’ve cancelled weekends away because of him.

He’s the perfect student at school, no issues at all, he’s a very keen sportsman, trains multiple times a weeks and competes regularly. To the outside world he’s an angel, at home life is absolutely horrific.

All I ever wanted was to be a mum and I feel like I’ve gone massively wrong somewhere and I’m really really struggling.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fashionqueen0123 · 13/09/2026 17:24

YourBlueHare · 12/09/2026 21:00

@smoothorangejuice sport is his release, whenever he is on a break from it he struggles even more. Partly why I don’t like using it as a punishment. He’s extremely fit and extremely talented.

I agree that we are his safe place, it doesn’t make it easier when it’s everyday. I feel so down and flat about it. Dread everyday and spend my time walking on eggshells with him.

I love him so much it hurts and hate seeing him so worked up but have no idea what to do, can’t see the wood for the trees.

For example he’s been told this evening that he can’t stay at home on his own when we go to his brothers match in the morning and his response was that he’s staying at home and if we make him so he’ll be telling the other team to break his ankles

So what happened in the end?

Why can't he stay at home - is it because you can't trust him now?
So when you go to the match presumably he didn't actually shout at a load of little kids.

I wouldn't stop sports either. Does your husband pull him up when he speaks to you like this?

Original poster

YourBlueHare · 13/09/2026 21:52

Originally I’d said that he couldn’t stay at home as you have to earn that privilege by being respectful. He only woke up as we were about to leave this morning so we let him stay at home but he wasn’t allowed on the PlayStation and his phone was locked down so he could only use it to contact us.

Today hasn’t been as bad as yesterday but still feel like we’re walking on eggshells. We had a chat this morning and suggested counselling, he got very cross at this idea and shut it down immediately.

@fashionqueen0123 yes, my husband does pick him up on it. He wasn’t here yesterday when it was all going on. He did speak to him today and tell him it was completely unacceptable

OP posts:

Original poster

YourBlueHare · 13/09/2026 21:55

@therapymedswhatelse I’m definitely going to read up on it.

The decision was made late on as his game was called off and I felt like he couldn’t be trusted to stay at home alone. In the end he did stay at home as I needed the break and he didn’t wake up in time, we decided him getting the sleep he needs was more important

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Garman · 13/09/2026 22:12

Sounds exactly like my son of the same age, who was diagnosed with autism a few months ago.

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