Anonymous parent gives my child sweets!

[LeopardStar1]

My child started reception class three days ago. She doesn't know anyone. I found out today that one of the children's parents has asked the teachers to put a packet of sweets in each of the childrens school bags! No explanation of who from or why! My daughter is T1D which is hard to control but even if she wasn't Diabetic, am I being unreasonable to be annoyed at this??

My dd is 22 and this happened on her first day of reception. I was really annoyed as she’s anaphylactic to peanuts and I complained the next day. The teacher looked at me like I was nuts myself. (See what I did there). As Christmas came, people were taping candy canes and haribo or chocolate to the cards. I realised that there was nothing I could really do about other people, I had to manage my own dd and teach her that she wants to eat a load of sweets all of the time.

That is very weird! I was previously a primary school teacher for 20 years and this would not be allowed for various reasons.

One of my main issues is that my time would be much better spent on other tasks (of which there were many!) before we even get into allergies/ diabetes etc.

I’d be annoyed at the school certainly

Our school sent out an email the other day saying they won't be giving out food that's brought in for birthdays etc any more, supposedly due to allergies but I'm not sure the real reason.
To be honest with 2 kids and 30 odd children in a class they were filling up on cake almost once a week. The teacher at the "second" classroom would generously offload left over cakes onto us!
The rule before was only things shop bought and in their original packaging, and the teachers know who has what allergy in their class.
I would just let it go, it's probably going to be a recurring thing, but maybe mention it to the teacher so they can take it into account when doling things out.

I wouldn't be too bothered tbh. The DCs school hands out sweets that parents bring in for birthdays - we're veggie so I just take them off the kids if they're not suitable. My kids know to check with me or their dad before eating sweets anyway.

It’s a birthday treat that the birthday child will have brought in.

It happens for every birthday at my children’s primary. You’ll have to speak to the teacher about it to ensure your daughter doesn’t get them or they’re given directly to you.

Surely it must be the child’s birthday, that’s why she did it. Both my children are in classes that do it for birthdays. My son has a peanut and tree nut allergy, so we check them before he’s allowed to eat them. Reception is young though, so kids may not think to check. I would bring it up with the teacher - surely the parent was given permission to do it x

Our school changed to wear your own clothes on birthdays which works really well. They removed the sweets as part of their healthy eating drive a few years ago. Suggest this to the school

Someone thought it was a nice idea. And it hadn't occurred to them that some children might be diabetic.

You need to ensure that the teacher is fully aware that your child is T1 Diabetic and that sweets should not be put in her bag or offered to her. No teacher is going to find this odd. It's part of safeguarding to be aware of allergies, particularly in children this young.

Did she eat the sweets?
I think it’s a cheek asking the teacher. Do they know your child is diabetic and can’t have them?

I used to hate this when my kids were young. Candy and cakes coming home for birthdays, ‘special days’ and a million other reasons.
Schools should absolutely be teaching kids that there are other ways to celebrate life than sugar and food colourings/ additives.
I would complain.

My son came home from reception with sweets from someone or other pretty much every week. I think the teachers pop them in their bags so that parents can control when/if they eat them.

I assume the school knows she is diabetic? Ask to speak to the teacher and ask that she not be given sweets again. It's not fair for them to send her home with something exciting that she can't eat. Ideally they should either request parents don't send sweets or have a little stock of diabetic friendly treats they can give her themselves so that she doesn't feel left out (in your shoes I'd provide these myself and ask the teacher to give them whenever other children are given sweets or cake).

That's a really good idea. I might do this! 👍

Thanks, I was starting to think I was being unreasonable or a kill joy! She had some of the sweets and I combined it with other foods to try and avoid the overnight spike, she was just so excited I didn't think it fair to make her feel different to everyone else and miss out on having what her friends have. It just seemed like a strange thing to do and I certainly wouldn't offer sweets to children if I didn't know the parents were okay with it first. T1D or not, kids don't need sweets, it's not a great habit and some parents don't want their kids to have them unless it's a party or something. Thanks everyone 👍

Having just re read this, this is on the teachers who would surely know your child is diabetic. I know it’s reception and they are only just getting to know the kids, and there’s a lot of them, but especially with so many kids with allergies these days, I dont think teachers should allow it without checking first. At my kids school, the child whose birthday it is hands them out at the door when the it’s home time, so parents see exactly what the child is given xx

We did the chocolate coins on Christmas cards, but by then we knew all the kids were fine with that. I'd not have done sweets in all bags this early in reception, and I wouldn't have done it if I knew any kids couldn't have it, which you do by Christmas as there's been lots of parties by then.

It’s the parents who bought the sweets. Leave the teachers alone. A complaint to the school is laughable!

Does the teacher know about her diabetes?

It's very much the norm in my son's class for parents to send in sweets or baked goods but there are no allergies or anything in the class

Thankyou! Children want to gift their school friends a bag of sweets and teachers help
out with this.

Where there is so much divide in a class, this is where you see generosity and everyone treated the same.

I love birthday sweet giving.