Is this phase normal at 17 months with everyday battles?

[NKBH]

My 17 month old suddenly hates everything. She hates the bath, having her teeth brushed, having her nappy changed, getting dressed, being wiped after meals, putting her socks on, putting her shoes on, getting in the pram. Everything is like the exorcism and I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to help it!!

We’ve had tantrums over things that I think are expected (not going outside when it’s raining, not letting her climb on furniture, not letting her hit the dog, not letting her put my phone in the dogs water bowl) because I understand she wants to do these things and doesn’t understand why she can’t, but all these things she never minded are now an impossible task and a lot of them happen at the beginning and end of the day and it just feels like such a stressful start and finish.

I’ve asked my other mum friends with similar aged babies and none of them have this!! We’ve tried everything, distracting with toys, youtube on my phone (never been a screen kid), singing, reading books while we do things, nothing really helps very much.

Is this a phase? If so, when does it end?!

Mine is 21m and it isn't a constant battle, but definitely sometimes he just does not want to do something and it's a big drama. Could be any of the things you mentioned but generally not all of them every day.

I think it's very normal and holding the boundary while picking your battles is what got me through. So teeth brushing is non negotiable, but yeah you don't want to wear a bib today then cool just make a mess and we'll get changed later. Nappy needs to be changed, but you don't want to put trousers back on after? Cool bro you do you.

Toddlers are mad, best of luck!

Mine was the same at that age. He suddenly went from being a dream to an absolute nightmare. It really caught me off guard. It only lasted a short while and I found ways to reason with him.

So distracting him didn't work anymore. I suddenly had to start explaining stuff - examples: after we finish the Legos, we are going to the supermarket, or after we do X, we have to put on shoes. So that he knew what was happening. It worked well, mostly, just took some adjusting from me.

His language exploded around 20 months which helped a lot too. He also had some molars come through around 18 months so i think that played a part, in hindsight.

Oh and agree with holding boundaries. Think carefully what you allow and what you don't. They really remember everything. Don't lie or confuse them, it may help in the moment, but it will make things 100 times worse.

Sounds very normal to me. And honestly, your friends will be lying.
Pick your battles. For us, teeth cleaning is non-negotiable and we don't try and make it fun. Lie them down, put their arms under your thighs and brush.
Do you use nappy pants? We find standing up nappy changes far easier.
Mine was much better at getting dressed since she chooses between two lots of clothes.

I totally feel you here. Mine is 22 months snd this has been going on for monthssssssss. I battle him all day every day im totally depleted. Getting to the point I avoid doing alot because im jus avoiding th3 battle. I even avoid taking the bin out csuse he will run out and its battle to get him back in. Smacking me throwing himself on the ground. Hes probally smacked me around 40 times today. I have tried every avenue and nothing has worked..

In all honestly I dint even enjoy being around him alot of the time now. It sounds horrible I know but hes constant tantrums along with the way he just appears to hate me and want to smack me for merley existing is really taking its toll.

I hope it ends soon for us both. I raised my sisters toddler for age 1 to age 4 and he was never like this. When spending time with my friends kids I have never seen them like it either. Obviously some tantrums are normal but its unbearable some days, most days. I really feel you. You are not alone.