Joint birthday party etiquette

[BBU]

DS1 has been invited to his first birthday party (first child - we're very new to all of this!). We received the invite from the nursery staff (all of the kids in his class get picked up at slightly different times, so we hardly ever bump into the other parents) and they told us it was an invite from "X". I assume the whole nursery class has been invited as we don't know the parents personally. The invite says its for a joint birthday party but we don't know who the other child is - in fact, strangely the invite does not include the names of any of the children! It just says its a joint birthday celebration, has the location and RVSP details listing the names and numbers of two parents - I don't even know which one is the parent of X. I assume its not with another child at nursery or else nursery staff would have said it was from "X" and "Y".

We'd love to attend and are happy to bring two gifts for both children but I'm just not sure what the right etiquette is here. Do I RSVP to both parent contacts and just introduce myself and try to figure out which one is X's mum / who the other child is? Shall I ask the nursery staff? Is it strange to bring a gift for the other child if we don't even know their name / DS does not know them?

I had this earlier this year! I recognised the name of kid 1 but no idea who kid 2 was, and there was no name for the RSVP parents either. I replied a generic "thank you for inviting Little OhHobnobs to so n so & so n so's party, we'll be there" and got a reply back that said simply 'ok!'

Gift wise, I got them a different version of the same craft kit.

Turned out when we got to the party that kid 1 & kid 2 were cousins with a 2yr age gap. Which would probably been useful to know.

I’d take a present for both kids, if you’re not sure what to get wrap up a bag of sweets and put £5 in the card.

I’d text both and say your child x would like to go but you were curious who the other party child was as the invite didn’t say and you weren’t sure.

Good to know I’m not alone! This is very helpful - luckily the invite says “we’re both turning two!” So at least I know we’re dealing with the same age!

Yes I think we’ll get both a present - at this age I can’t imagine they’ll be very picky. Was just thinking it was awkward not even knowing what to label the second gift but maybe we should just ask who the other child is!

If you have only been invited by one child and only have the name of one child that means you only need to buy a gift for that one child, or at least that’s how it works around here.

Yep. Both kids are inviting their nursery friends. Their friends will get them a gift.

I would just clarify with nursery staff which parent belongs to X and also if Y goes to the nursery too. They may not actually be able to tell you that, but might be able to give some indication.

It’s the norm to only bring a gift for the child you know. I realise in this situation, it may be tricky to figure out if you know both. You may also just need to ask X’s parent. If they both go to the nursery, I’d probably get both a small gift as it’s a bit confusing! If not, then I’d just get one for X.