Potty training a stool withholder

[feelingmywaythrough]

I am for advice from anyone who has been in this situation before. My daughter, 2.5yo, has been a stool withholder since a very bad bout of constipation aged 11 months, caused by bananas. She hasn’t eaten bananas since then and nor has she been constipated. She has, however, held her poos in for days at a time, only going once she is either alone in bed or asleep. It’s manageable, but it’s not exactly sustainable. I would ideally like to potty train, as I have a 3mo and feel like all I do is change nappies.

We have read what feels like 100s of books about poos (though most seem to talk about pooing in the loo) and try very hard not to put any pressure on her, and slowly it feels like things have started to improve. She tells
me when she’s done a poo (it used to panic her and make her cry) and generally seems less fussed about it all. A recent tummy bug means she has even done poos while awake and in front of me. It feels like progress!

I am worried that potty training will undo everything we’ve achieved. Has anyone been in this situation and, if so, how have you managed potty training? All resources talk about stool withholding once potty training has begun, which isn’t exactly the problem. Most stool withholding conversations also talk about constipation, Movicol/Laxido etc, which again, isn’t pertinent.

Thanks in advance!

bumping in hope…

If she’s holding in poos for days at a time, then movicol/laxido etc is very relevant.

Thank @nocoolnamesleft but she isn’t at all constipated. They means she just tries (and fails!) to hold in even messier poos, which go everywhere and make her feel even more upset.

If she’s with holding she will be constipated the mess will be the seepage
don’t add the potty in at the min you need to sort the actually pooing first she’ll be blocked up and impacted no doubt if she with holds

Withholding stretches the rectum just like constipation does. Without laxatives you’re very unlikely to make much progress.

My just turned three year old has had her fair share of withholding. It happened after she had constipation.
I did the movicol method, I built up to three sachets a day for a couple of days to make sure she was cleared out, then for a week one sachet a day and reduced to half a sachet for another week.
In our case the withholding caused the constipation but the key was to not allow her to withhold which the movicol did, she couldn’t hold it in. Then she realised poo wasn’t scary because it was no longer hard and painful.
I now give her lots of cashews (they really make her go I’d never heard of using nuts before but it’s the one thing she eats reliably to make her go) and fruit and we haven’t had a problem in quite a while.
I would sort the withholding before potty training and be aware you might have a regression when you potty train.

We found low doses of senna helpful for stool withholding. But DC was under the local children's continence service who advised it. Even then the GP wasn't overly keen to prescribe and I doubt they would have done in the absence of a softener like laxido/movicol.

Have you looked at the eric.org.uk website? Lots of useful info and I believe they have a helpline as well.

Thanks @WonderWeeksArentReal and @Gonnaeatalotofpeaches. I don’t think she is scared of the pain - the bout of constipation that caused the withholding was when she was about 8 months old. She’s now 2.5… She is instead scared of poo itself - the mess, the smell, the feeling. She hates having done one, which is why I worry about the use of laxatives having a detrimental effect. I will ring ERIC; am not sure why I haven’t again. They were helpful in the past but it hadn’t occurred to me to discuss potty training.

There’s a book you can read and you can buy it off Amazon thinknits called “come out mr poo” dd2 really found this helpful maybe look into that 😁